


the shade we make

by butteredsc0tch



Series: omegaverse au [2]
Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Canon-Typical Violence, Childbirth, Daddy Issues, F/M, Fertility Issues, Homophobia, I promise, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Mentions of miscarriage, Minor Character Death, Mpreg, Non-Linear Narrative, Omega Verse, Past Infidelity, Previous Canon Character Death, affair reveal, bad medical jargon, but i'm enjoying the ride, i'm still probably going to hell for this, ridic soapy drama, robert is a dick, robert's many many issues, there is fluff though
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-09
Updated: 2018-12-06
Packaged: 2019-01-10 23:16:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 73,169
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12309942
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/butteredsc0tch/pseuds/butteredsc0tch
Summary: The door creaks behind him on its hinges and he sees Chas’ eyes flicker over at the sound, them visibly widening when she registers his presence. Chrissie frowns at the look on Chas’ face, and Robert’s heart almost stops when she turns around towards him, her face tearstained and flushed red with anger.“Oh look who it is! It’s my darling husband!” She announces with overtly false cheer, gesturing widely with her arm towards him as she takes a small, stumbling step away from the bar. “Welcome home Robert! Did you andAaronhave a fun time without me?!”Omegaverse AU.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Oh God okay, part 2 is here, sort of! Whoo! \o/ 
> 
> Fair warning, this is currently still a WIP, but any free moment I have I am working on it which is why the first part is here sooo much sooner than I originally anticipated. I was so massively overwhelmed by all your kind comments on the first part, so I really hope you all find this second part enjoyable too. 
> 
> Robert is well _Robert_ for this chapter, and I hope the immediate fallout to the end of my last fic lives up to expectations, all the conflicting emotions made this so much more harder to write than I originally thought so fingers crossed it's okay.
> 
> I have some more in depth warnings for this fic than are listed in the tags, I currently have a 4000 word plan for it so these probably won't change too much but if they do I will update accordingly: there is discussion regarding a previous miscarriage, description of a miscarriage, issues surrounding a premature birth, mild body horror and blood, medical issues involving a child, description of childbirth, and very, _very_ minor violent behaviour towards a pregnant person. 
> 
> But yeah, I hope you guys enjoy! Ideally I wanted this up and finished by the time the canon sprog appeared but based on spoilers I'm not sure that will happen. At the moment it seems like this fic is turning into a monster, so I hope you all enjoy the ride!

The drive back to Emmerdale is a blur. 

Thankfully the roads are quiet, so he puts his foot to the floor and hopes to God he doesn’t get stopped by the police. A dozy woman in a Nissan Micra pulls into the second lane without indicating and he blares his horn in frustration, swearing loudly when the stupid cow carries on oblivious. 

He’d left Aaron at the hotel, half naked and still in a state of shock. 

It’d only taken seconds for his brain to kick back online after Aaron had uttered the damning words, and he’d clumsily scrambled from the bed, snatching random clothes from the floor and shoving them on as quickly as possible. 

He hadn’t said a word to Aaron as he’d left, hadn’t even considered him still sat slumped on the bed. He’d just grabbed his stuff and ran; and it’s only now, when he’s had half an hour to get a grip on things, that he’s really stopped to consider the fact that Aaron will now probably be out for his blood too, along with Chrissie.

He reaches the outskirts of the village a lot sooner than he’d expected, the road signs counting down the miles rapidly until he’s suddenly driving past the ‘Please Drive Carefully’ message at the top of Main Street, and feeling his heart begin to pound in his chest.

He pulls up sharply in front of the pub and shoves open the car door with force. In his haste he almost stumbles from the car, and as he rights himself he hears his name from across the other side of the street.

“Robert!” Victoria’s voice shouts. He turns his head towards the sound and sees her jogging down the road towards him, her worried expression clear even from a distance. “Robert, wait!”

He closes the car door slowly and steps away as she pulls up beside him, breathing heavily and hair in a lopsided mess on the top of her head. She furrows her brow at him and Robert swallows, feeling sick to his stomach.

“Is it true?” She asks immediately, not beating around the bush as her eyes flicker back and forth over his face. “What Chrissie’s sayin’? About you and Aaron?”

He ducks his head down away from her gaze and presses his thumb hard against the ridge of his keys. His pulse pounds hard under every point of his skin and he bites at his lip, unable to make himself answer Vic’s question, even though he knows that telling her anything but the truth at this point would prove to be futile. 

“Where is she? Chrissie?” He asks instead, trying to keep his tone level and calm. He hears Vic sigh at his change of subject, but knows from the sound that she’ll tell him, despite his refusal to answer her question.

“She’s in the pub still, along with half the village,” she says. Robert’s stomach sinks to his toes at that revelation, the thought of everyone now knowing what he had worked so hard to hide for so long, what he had always seen as his biggest flaw – his father’s biggest disappointment – almost pushing him to the point of hyperventilation. 

He forces it back though, the fear, and without hesitation turns towards The Woolpack on trembling legs. He hears Vic move beside him, but keeps his eyes steadily on the doors to the building in front of him.

“Robert I don’t think this is a good idea!” Victoria calls, trying to keep up with his strides. “Robert! Just _stop_!”

He pushes open the door to the pub and Vic’s voice immediately becomes muffled by the heavy oak. 

He sees them all before they see him. 

Chrissie is stood in front of the bar, clothes dishevelled and hair a mess compared to her usual perfectly coiffed style. There’s half a large glass of white wine in front of her and Diane and Chas are both stood behind the bar, with Adam off to the side at Chrissie’s left, all of them with frowns on their faces. He quickly glances away and around at the rest of the room, gulping heavily when he sees the likes of Nicola and Jimmy, Pearl, Val and Eric, Leyla, Vanessa and Rhona, all sat around at various tables, not so subtly trying to listen in to Chrissie’s words. 

The door creaks behind him on its hinges and he sees Chas’ eyes flicker over at the sound, them visibly widening when she registers his presence. Chrissie frowns at the look on Chas’ face, and Robert’s heart almost stops when she turns around towards him, her face tearstained and flushed red with anger.

“Oh look who it is! It’s my darling husband!” She announces with overtly false cheer, gesturing widely with her arm towards him as she takes a small, stumbling step away from the bar. “Welcome home Robert! Did you and _Aaron_ have a fun time without me?!”

Robert feels all the eyes in the room on him as he steps fully through the doorway, and he tries to block out the soft murmur that runs through the tables as he inches closer. Chrissie sways a little on the spot, and with a surge of something that feels like relief, he quickly realises that she’s drunk, and clings to that knowledge with desperation.

“Chrissie,” he says, injecting a level of calmness to his voice as he moves towards her, holding his hands up placatingly as he tries for a reassuring smile. “Chrissie, look you’ve got this all wrong! I swear!”

Chrissie snorts and reels her head back, shaking it in disbelief as her eyebrow climb up towards her hairline. “I’ve got this wrong?” She scoffs, a twisted smile pulling at her mouth. Robert nods and he watches as she turns towards the bar, grabbing clumsily for her bag.

“Yes!” He answers as she nods her head sloppily, rummaging her hand around inside her bag. Robert takes a breath and steels his shoulders. “Look I know things have been… _difficult_ , between us lately, but you’ve got it all wrong! You’re drunk Chrissie – ”

“‘It was good seeing you yesterday’.” Chrissie cuts him off loudly, turning back around and leaning her waist up against the bar. Her fingers clutch tightly at an object in her hand and Robert’s heart sinks when he realises it’s his phone, the one he’d left accidentally on their kitchen counter the morning before.

“‘You _fucked_ me so good’,” she continues, tone loaded with spite as she thumbs down the screen. “‘I can still feel you now. _Nobody_ makes me come – ’”

“Give it to me!” Robert snaps, diving towards her with desperation as he grabs for the phone, his heart pounding hard in his chest and making it hard for him to breathe. Chrissie laughs, one step away from a cackle, and he yanks the phone from her grasp roughly, his hands trembling as he inhales and exhales rapidly.

“Got it wrong have I Robert?!” Chrissie taunts, her lips pulled into a smirk despite the tears gathering in the corners of her eyes. “You’ve been sleeping with him for _months_! It’s all there! I’ve seen the photos!”

The murmuring starts up again and Robert shakes his head, pulling his bottom lip between his teeth.

“Chrissie – ”

He hears the door open behind him and the murmuring cuts off immediately. He sees Chrissie blink once, and watches as her expression falls from bitter scorn, to pure, unadulterated rage. 

“You finally made it then!” She shouts, looking past his shoulder and in the direction of the pub doors. “Dragged yourself out of bed to chase after him?!”

Robert turns his head slowly, and defeatedly sighs when he sees Aaron stood beside his sister in the doorway. Aaron’s jaw flexes hard, and a traitorous part of Robert’s brain notes how good he looks, still sleep rumpled and hair curling, but he shuts those thoughts down almost immediately, noting the fury in Aaron’s eyes as he flickers his gaze at him before looking back at Chrissie.

“You couldn’t help yourself could you?” Chrissie snarls, and Robert hears her move at his left, her heels clicking as she steps closer towards Aaron. “Had to throw yourself at him like a cheap whore even though he was _mine_!”

Robert holds back a reflexive twitch at that and clenches his teeth. He sees Aaron smirk and his nostrils flare, shoulders tensing as he steps in closer from the door.

“Oh yeah? That what you think?” Aaron asks with false calm. “Well I’ll tell ya somethin’ love, _he_ was the one who came on to _me_.”

Chrissie moves before anyone can react, and Robert jumps back instinctively as she slaps Aaron hard around the face, the noise echoing in the room as loud gasps and exclamations sound from the nearby tables. Adam jumps forward and pulls Chrissie back, holding her by the arms as she struggles against him; Robert glances towards Aaron, who is gingerly prodding at his split lip with Victoria stood wide eyed and close by his side once more, her hand carefully pressed against his chest.

“Is that why you got him _pregnant_ then!?” Chrissie yells brokenly, her voice cracking as tears begin to stream down her face. The room stills and Robert feels his stomach drop. He catches sight of Vic’s stunned face, her mouth half open as she stares between him and Chrissie, and looks away, unable to bear the disappointment in her expression.

“Aaron? Is that true?!” He hears Chas ask loudly from behind the bar. Chrissie laughs bitterly once, and Robert sees her shrug out of Adam’s loosened grip, Adam distracted as he stares wide eyed at his best mate. 

“It’s true.” Chrissie answers instead, wiping at her eyes. She turns around to face Chas and folds her arms across her chest. “Congratulations Chas! You’re going to be a grandmother!” 

“Now I think this is enough!” Diane suddenly says, stepping around the bar and standing in the middle of them all. Robert catches the hard look she gives him and ducks his eyes down, rubbing at his mouth anxiously. “Through to the back the lot of you! I won’t have you all knocking 7 bells out of each other in here anymore!”

Chrissie storms past Diane without pause and Diane stares at him pointedly, nodding her head for him to follow. He walks past Val and Eric sat closest to the bar and avoids Val’s amused smile as she tries to catch his eye. He grits his teeth as he also passes by Nicola, muttering to Jimmy under her breath. 

He rounds the bar and Chas stands firmly in his way, her arms folded across her chest as she glares at him coldly. Robert straightens and stares back at her just as hard, mouth quirked as he dares her to call him out.

“Not now Chas.” He hears Diane say behind his shoulder. Chas blinks, glancing at Diane and pulling a face, but relents after a moment, moving aside to let him past.

“If you think we won’t be having a little chat later though you’re wrong.” She mutters as he steps forward to pass her by. Robert huffs and shakes his head, licking at his lips as he looks into her hard eyes.

“I’ve got more important things to deal with than you at the moment, like saving my marriage.”

Chas snorts amused and shakes her head; Robert clenches his jaw and feels his fingernails dig into his palms.

“Good luck with that one.” Chas laughs nastily. Robert opens his mouth to snarl back a response, but stops when he feels Diane’s hand on his shoulder pushing him towards the backroom.

His jaw snaps closed with a click and Chas smirks. Robert steps away and shrugs out from under Diane’s hand, turning away from Chas and heading for the doorway. 

As he moves to walk through he glances up at the last second, and feels a kick in his chest when he meets Aaron’s gaze, burning and resentful. He swallows thickly and drops his head down, feeling the anger in Aaron’s eyes scorching into the back of his neck until he ducks away, out of sight.

*****

It’d been straight up jealousy that had made him do it. Donny had been hanging around like a bad smell for days, half dressed and playing the doting dad Chrissie had always claimed he’d never bothered to attempt to try at before. It’d put him on edge, his hackles constantly raised, and Chrissie’s moony eyes after Donny had offered to take Lachlan to his counsellor had been the final straw.

They’d fucked quick and messy on the top of the desk, Robert straddling Chrissie’s hips as she’d clawed at his back. It’s been dirty and exciting and for the first time in a long while he’d remembered exactly what it was that had drawn him to Chrissie in the first place.

Afterwards they’d showered together, Chrissie pressing kisses along his spine and gently scraping her teeth along the side of his throat. She’d watched him in the mirror as they’d dressed, her hair damp and curling at the ends as she’d buttoned up the front of her blouse. He’d smirked and made sure to stretch unnecessarily to reach for his suit jacket in the wardrobe, noticing the way Chrissie had licked her lips as she’d caught a glimpse of his taught stomach.

When they’d made it back down the stairs Lawrence had offered to drive them into the village for dinner. In the back of his head he’s known it was a bad idea, had known that there would be a chance they’d run into Aaron, an angry and irritated Aaron, who he’d not had a chance to call and cancel their plans with before Chrissie had dragged him up the stairs by his open shirt; but he’d forced the thought back and had wrapped his arm around Chrissie’s waist, directing her past the Woolpack pointedly in towards the entrance of The Grange.

Of course it had been just his luck that the food had been off that night, and so he’d had to relent when Chrissie had taken his hand and pulled them back outside, giggling at him like a teenage girl as she’d walked them towards the pub.

For a while he’d thought he’d gotten away with it, no sign of either Aaron or Chas anywhere, and he’d started to relax, started to enjoy Chrissie’s gentle flirting and Diane’s chatter. He’d supped slowly at his pint, his hand pressed against Chrissie’s waist, and had basked in her attention, the first she’d given him properly in days.

That was until he’d heard raised voices coming from the back room; both Chrissie and Diane had paused their conversation and had turned to look in the direction of the sound, and Robert had swallowed as he’d instantly recognised the owner of the once voice.

“The truth is your just a mummy’s boy!” James had said belittlingly as he’d stepped through into the bar, Aaron following behind him closely. “Running to your mum with every little one of your silly problems!”

Aaron’s teeth had been bared and Robert had felt his stomach fall into his shoes in shame, when Aaron had clocked him on the other side of the bar, Chrissie pressed close against his side. Aaron had visibly tensed further, and as James had continued to rant, Robert had watched in horror as Aaron had turned away and grabbed for the bottle of vodka in anger.

Chrissie had flinched noticeably beside him with a gasp as Aaron had smashed the bottle down over the back of James’ head, and Robert’s heart had lurched with panic as James had slumped down to the floor like a deadweight, blood pouring from his skull and down over his face.

“I should – ” He’d said, rising to stand and moving instinctively towards Aaron, every cell in his body urging him to go to him and calm him down; but Chrissie had pulled harshly at his arm and he’d had no choice but to sit back down in his seat.

What had followed had been more shouting and shoving, this time also courtesy of Cain and Chas, and Ross and Pete, who had all appeared at the commotion. All of them had stood snarling at one another, until Pete had wrapped his father’s arm around his shoulders and carried him outside, with Ross throwing threats at Aaron like knives as he followed behind.

“I told you to leave it!” Chas had shouted at Aaron once they’d left. “He’s not _worth it_ Aaron! Not worth the jail time!” 

Aaron had sniffed loudly and shrugged his shoulders, and Robert had felt his gaze burning into the side of his head all the way from over the other side of the pub.

“Yeah well he had it comin’.” He’d heard Aaron bite out viciously as he’d toyed anxiously with a beer mat. “A piece of work like him? Yeah, he had it comin’.”

*****

Chrissie is pacing back and forth across the back room when he steps through the door. She stops abruptly at his presence, and Robert finds himself unable to meet her eyes as she stares at him expectantly.

“Well?” She asks, dropping her arms down by her side and raising her brow. “Not going to deny it? Not going to tell me I’m _wrong_ about that too?!”

“Chrissie,” he says softly, hesitant as he steps minutely closer. Chrissie sneers and wipes roughly at her eyes, her lower lip trembling even as she tries to appear indignant. 

“So was it a plan?” She questions, blowing out a breath and straightening out her shoulders even as her eyes continue to shine with tears. “Another one of your schemes like your little robbery plan? He gets you pregnant so you can pretend it’s mine, and use the child to scam me out of money? I bet you were both laughing behind my back the entire time!”

“No!” He interrupts, stepping closer and holding a hand out to try and instinctively reach for her. Chrissie knocks his arm away and Robert purses his lips together, stung at the rejection. He takes a deep breath and looks up into her eyes, trying to make her see in his face that whatever thoughts she may have about him are anything but the truth.

“It – it wasn’t like – ”

“Like that?” She snaps. “Tell me then Robert, what was it _like_?!”

She breathes heavily and he looks at her with his lips parted, words caught in the back of his throat as she watches him back with teary expectant eyes. He feels the baby stretch out disgruntled inside his belly, quite clearly sensing the tension in his body, and he moves his hand up instinctively to rub soothingly over the bump. Chrissie’s eyes flash down at the movement and Robert drops his hand away as if burnt, catching the broken look on Chrissie’s face as she stares at his stomach.

“If I’m being honest I knew from the start,” she says quietly, her voice barely above a whisper as a tear catches in her lower lashes. “After everything they told us, deep down I knew it was too soon. But I remembered what you’d said, about couples conceiving when they least expect it, and I convinced myself that that was what had happened. That we’d just been lucky. How stupid was I?!”

He looks away from her devastated expression, the first rush of guilt settling in his chest and squeezing tight. He hears her sniff and sees her wipe at her cheeks from the corner of his eye; she exhales shakily, a small sound catching in her throat, and he closes his eyes, unable to cope with the broken-hearted expression he knows will be on her face.

“It didn’t feel right though.” She continues, her voice choked as she tries to hold back her emotions. “It didn’t feel the same as with Lachlan, but I thought maybe that was just because he’d been the first. I’d driven Donny mad when he’d been expecting Lachlan and I thought maybe I’d learnt from that, learnt not to push too hard… but it still didn’t explain why I didn’t feel the same about him. Why I didn’t love him as much as I’d loved Lachlan.”

She breaks off and stifles a sob. He opens his eyes and looks at her tentatively, at the way she curls into herself as she holds her hand to her mouth. He longs to reach out and touch her, pull her close and tell her that everything will be okay, but knows that he can’t, that in doing so he’ll only make things worse.

“I felt so guilty.” She cries, rubbing at her mouth and nose and trying to bring her tears back under control. “That I didn’t love our son, that I couldn’t _make_ myself love him even when I’d wanted him so much.”

He breathes in slowly and his eyes begin to blur as Chrissie continues to fight breaking down in front of him. She takes a moment to compose herself, her shoulders unfurling as she reigns in her tears and rubs the remaining ones from her cheeks.

“I got my letter through from the consultant for my 6 month check-up,” she says after a moment, her tone of voice flat as she turns her gaze towards him for the first time in a while. 

“I wasn’t going to go.” She carries on. “But I thought I could just speak to her and ask her what was wrong, ask her why I didn’t feel right. She suggested that we did the tests anyway and I agreed. I didn’t see the harm, but I guess I was wrong.”

He bites at his lip and glances down at his toes. He clears his throat, and dares to speak when he realises that Chrissie is waiting for any acknowledgement of her words.

“What – what did they say?”

Chrissie huffs a bitter laugh and he looks back up at her, at her twisted smile and cold blue eyes. He feels a stab of remorse at the sight of her so wrecked and betrayed, that he’d taken his soft, beautiful wife and turned her into someone so bitter and scorned, so broken and all because of him.

“That I’m still infertile Robert.” She sharply retorts, even though her lower lip trembles around the words. “That I still can’t have children.”

She exhales falteringly, her breathing laboured as if the words had taken everything she had. She scrubs one hand through her messed up hair, and shifts her feet on the spot as she breathes loudly, fighting back the tears Robert knows are threatening to force their way out once again. 

“I went back and checked through my diary,” she says eventually, straightening herself up and looking at him in the eye. “It turned out that I was over 200 miles away when we were supposed to have conceived our son. Strange that.”

He looks away, unable to bear the anger and pain in her eyes, and licks nervously at his lower lip, shuffling on his feet as the guilt clutches at him relentlessly.

“Chrissie, I’m – I’m sorry – ”

“You’re _sorry_?” Chrissie snarls, her eyes flashing dangerous and furious, and he immediately regrets his choice of words. “Is that all you can _say_ Robert?! That you’re _sorry_?!”

“Chrissie – ”

“You’re pregnant with another alpha’s child!” She shouts, voice breaking in both rage and upset, her cheeks flushed as uncontrolled tears fall from her lashes. “You had an affair with a _man_ for _months_ Robert, and all you can say is that you’re _sorry_?!”

She breathes heavily and presses her left hand to her mouth; Robert sees the moment she notes the rings, the bright glint of the diamonds tight around her finger, and his heart sinks when she lowers her hand and pulls at the bands.

“Chrissie don’t…” He starts, but cuts himself short with a heavy swallow when Chrissie drops the rings down to the floor, the metal clicking as it strikes the wooden floorboards.

“It’s over,” she says flatly, eyes tired and mouth thinned. She takes a step forward and he can’t stop himself reaching out to grab for her, clutching at the sleeve of her jacket desperately even as she wipes at her eyes.

“It doesn’t have to be.” He pleads, lower lip wobbling as his heart sinks in his chest. Chrissie’s eyes fill with tears, the blue of her irises bright as she looks up at him regretful and heartbroken. “Chrissie, we can make this work!”

For a second Robert thinks she might stay, might stay and try to work things out, her face open and upset but no longer hateful. He can see the flash of longing in her eyes and knows that this isn’t really what she wants, but her face closes down almost immediately and she pulls away, yanking her sleeve from his tightened grasp.

“Goodbye Robert.” She chokes out, her heels clacking against the floor hurriedly. He hears the front door slam and rubs at his mouth, tears springing up in the corners as he bites hard at his lip. 

He breathes shakily as he drops down to the sofa and buries his face in his hands, presses his fingertips into his eyes and cries for a life now lost.

*****

The first time he’d laid eyes on Chrissie, he’d known he’d have to have her.

She’d been like a diamond in the centre of a pile of broken glass shards, perfectly pressed and put together in amongst a sea of average and try-hards. She’d oozed power and prestige, every inch the wealthy alpha she carried herself as.

She’d been the symbol of everything he’d ever worked for, the cherry on the cake after years of scrambling about for crumbs – and as the boss’ daughter she’d also carried the keys to the kingdom in her Gucci handbag too.

So he’d grabbed a glass of champagne from a passing waiter, taking a quick sip as he’d straightened his cuffs, and had slowly wandered over to where she was stood chatting to Lawrence, making his laugh in that obnoxious way of his with whatever story she was telling him.

“Ah Robert!” Lawrence had said loudly when he’d finally caught his eye, a chuckle still catching at his words as he’d wiped at his eyes. “I see you’ve yet to meet my daughter. Chrissie this is Robert Sugden, our top Account Manager for the last quarter.”

Chrissie had turned to face him and had held out her hand, her fingernails perfectly manicured and no sign of a band on either of her ring fingers.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you Robert.” She’d all but purred, her eyes big and round even in the dim light of the party. “Dad’s told me all about you.”

Robert had smirked and clasped her hand gently, making sure to trail his thumb lightly over the back of her wrist. 

“All good I hope?” He’d said, allowing the flirtatious tone to seep out into his voice. Chrissie had bit her lip and blinked slowly, the soft lights from the Christmas Tree highlighting the high points of her face, the strong line of her cheekbones and the tip of her cupids bow, in soft golds and cream.

“Now that would be telling.” She’d murmured coyly, eventually letting go of his hand and transferring her glass from one hand to another. “But I think I might be inclined to spill a few secrets over a drink. I’ll have a glass of Moet and a shot of Chambord if it’s not too much trouble?”

He’d shaken his head and had taken a step back towards the bar. “No not at all,” he’d said with a smile, and he’d felt her eyes on him the whole way across the room.

When he’d kissed her later that night pressed up against the side of her brand-new Range Rover, she’d tasted like raspberries and bubbles, and he’d known then as she’d gasped desperately into his mouth that she was his.

*****

He’s still sat on the sofa when he hears Chas and Diane move from the pub and into the hallway. Chas’ voice is loud and scathing as always, and he sighs, drained and weary, and closes his eyes.

“He’s not staying here Diane! Over my dead body will he be stoppin’ in this house!”

“He’s got nowhere else to go Chas!” He hears Diane protest, her tone laded with a pity that makes him feel sick. “I don’t like what he’s done anymore than you do believe me, but I can’t very well chuck him out on the street, not when there’s the baby to think about!”

“You don’t have to worry,” he says abruptly, standing up and walking into the hallway, startling both women as they turn to face him. “Chas’ right, I can’t stay here.”

Chas’s face is smug and a self-satisfied smile pulls at her mouth. He glares at her over Diane’s shoulder and she grins even wider.

“But where are you going to go?!” Diane asks bewildered. “You can’t honestly think you can go back up to Home Farm after that?!”

He clenches his jaw and turns away from Chas, looking at Diane as he tries to steel his expression in one of passive calm.

“Which is exactly why I can’t stay here. If I want to have any chance of Chrissie taking me back I need stay as far away from Aaron as possible.” He explains, taking grim pleasure from the vicious scowl Chas sends his way. “I’ve text Vic already, she said I can stay at hers.”

“If you think I’d let you anywhere _near_ Aaron – ”

“Chas! That’s enough!” Diane cuts off Chas’ sneering bark and sends her a pointed look; Robert flashes her a taunting smile that he immediately shuts down as Diane turns back around.

“Look I should go,” he says, ducking his head down and rubbing at his mouth, tiredness beginning to settle across his shoulders. His eyes feel dry and he can feel a headache beginning to throb at his temples; and as much as he is enjoying pressing Chas’ buttons and watching her bite, just the thought of seeing Aaron, seeing his anger and disappointment and hate for him written over his face, has his stomach churning violently with apprehension. “I don’t want to cause any more trouble.”

Diane’s eyes flash with that pitying look again and he feels irritation sweep up his spine. Chas snorts behind her, folding her arms across her chest and shakes her head.

“All you _ever do_ is cause trouble Robert!” She snaps, and he does his best to ignore her as he turns back towards the living room. “You thrive of it! And screw everyone else who gets in your way!”

He pauses in the doorway and takes a deep breath, fighting back the urge to turn around and rip into Chas, pull her apart piece by piece until all she can do is glower at him; but instead he glances towards Diane and flashes her a forced reassuring smile, nods his head and buries his hands in his coat pocket.

“I’ll see you later Diane,” he says quietly, ignoring Chas still glaring daggers at him. “And thank you for the offer by the way, I appreciate it.”

Diane nods, smiling weakly, and he walks away. He passes through the back room on the way to the door and tugs his coat closer around his body, deliberately steering his gaze from the glint of silver now on the coffee table, and fights back the sinking feeling in his stomach at the sight of it.

*****

Vic appears as soon as he closes the door behind him.

“Robert? Is that you?” She says loudly, hurried footsteps as she quickly walks out from the kitchen. He sighs and leans against the frame, pressing his fingers into his eyes as he braces himself for the oncoming onslaught of questions.

“Come with me and sit down.” Victoria’s voice is stern and no nonsense and he sighs again, shaking his head as he drops his hand back down by his side.

“Vic, can we not do this now?”

“If you think I’m just gonna let you slink off upstairs without a word then you must be jokin’!” She answers in a hard tone that leaves no room for arguments. “You’ve been havin’ an _affair_ with _Aaron_ , Robert! You’re having a _baby_ together!”

He looks away from her and his jaw tightens until his teeth ache. He feels his pulse pick up in the base of his throat, a wash of fear overcoming him at the realisation that they’ll all know now, the whole village will know his dirty, shameful secret. 

“I thought you said you wouldn’t judge?!” He snaps, turning to fix her with a frown, masking the reflexive panic of rejection that floods his body right to his toes. Victoria blinks at him wide eyed and open mouthed, a little taken aback as she shakes her head.

“I’m – I’m not.” She replies, small furrow that pulls at her brow as she takes a step closer. “Robert I don’t _care_ that you’ve cheated with a bloke, I care that you cheated _at all_! And with one of my best mates an’ everythin’!”

He feels his lips thin and he looks away from her and down at the carpet on the stairs opposite. He hears her sigh, a sound so like their mother, and he suddenly feels like a chastened 13-year-old all over again, Sarah fed up with another one of his ridiculous antics.

“Look just come sit down. Please?” Vic asks, her tone almost begging. He chews anxiously at his bottom lip for a moment and exhales heavily, nodding his head once as he pushes away from the door. Vic flashes him a smile and nods her head towards the kitchen, when the key jiggles in the door behind him and they both turn towards the sound.

“Oh, should’ve guessed this is where you’d come crawlin’ to,” Andy says bitterly, shutting the door closed with a half slam and tossing his keys into the glass bowl on the side table.

“Andy!” Vic reprimands loudly. Robert’s lip curls at the heated stare Andy send his way and folds his arms across his chest, pulling himself up to his full height.

“No let him Vic,” he says with a baiting smugness. “He’s obviously got a lot to say about something that doesn’t concern him.”

Andy laughs with barely suppressed distain and shakes his head. “Don’t concern me? You made the last few weeks of Katie’s life hell ‘cause of your stupid little affair! You ruined her life!”

“Oh I ruined Katie’s life?” He retorts with bite, stubbornly refusing to acknowledge the flash of dead eyes and blue lips behind his eyes, the guilt curdling into an anger that has him lashing out in defence. “Remind me Andy who was it who was stickin’ their nose into somethin’ that weren’t any of their business?! Who was _that_ Andy?!”

His back slams against the wall hard and he feels a surprising well of instinctive panic, a feeling he hasn’t felt when confronted with Andy’s violent temper for a very long time. Andy’s fists are clenched tight in his jacket, angry alpha pheromones pouring off of him, and Vic shouts anxiously from his right, her voice high and full of alarm.

“Andy no!” She begs, rushing forward and pulling helplessly at Andy’s tensed shoulder. “Andy please stop, please! There’s the baby!” 

He sees Andy blink and feels him relax his grasp despite the rage still burning in his eyes. He shoves Robert back once more into the wall before letting go, stepping away and clenching his jaw. Robert exhales shakily and finds himself automatically placing a hand to his stomach, he looks at Andy with a glare and sees Andy’s nostrils flare in reply.

“Look can we all just calm down!” Vic says loudly, standing between them both and holding her hands up. “I know your angry Andy and I get why, but _please_ can we not turn this into a fight?!”

“Oh, so you’re taking his side then?” Robert snaps, a sting of hurt lancing him at his sister, _his_ flesh and blood, caring more about Andy’s feelings than his own once again. “Why am I not surprised?!”

“I’m not taking sides!” Vic replies exasperatedly, turning a little more fully to face him and stepping in front of Andy. “It’s just something we’ve _all_ got to get our heads around Robert!” 

He snorts in response and shakes his head. “‘Get your head around’? You’re not the one who’s marriage is hanging by a thread Vic!”

“And whose fault is that eh?” Andy sneers; Robert’s jawline tightens and he breathes out heavily through his nose. 

“You know what, I’m done,” he says with finality, turning away towards the stairs. “I don’t have to listen to this.”

“Robert!” Vic shouts desperately, but he ignores her call and strides up the staircase, slamming the door to the spare room shut behind him.

*****

He’d been raging, absolutely furious as he’d stormed his way down the path towards the front door of the cottage.

She’d just been unable to help herself, hadn’t been able to stop herself from interfering in his life even when her own relationship was beginning to crumble down all around her. He’d hated her, despised her in a way he’d never thought he could as a messed up 18 year old, fucking her and kissing her and telling her he loved her behind Andy’s back. It’d been screwed up, this obsession she’d had with him after all this time, with trying to catch him out and spewing poison in Chrissie’s ear when he hadn’t been around to stop her. It’d been enraging, and as he’d knocked fiercely on the door, his teeth had ground together in anger and he’d buried his fists in his coat pockets.

“What do you think you’re playing at?!” He’d snarled when she’d opened the door finally, pushing her aside despite her protest and storming through the doorway. She’d closed the door with a half slam and he’d turned to glower at her, hating her even more as she’d folded her arms across her chest smugly.

“I know what you’re up to,” she’d said, chin raised defiantly. “And it’s only a matter of time before you slip up.”

“You know nothing!” He’d growled, stepping in closer to her and taking some satisfaction in the way she’d inched back a little. “You know absolutely _nothin’_ and you’re just making a fool of yourself!”

“Oh but I do Robert!” She’d snapped, shaking off the crack in her armour and stepping in too. “I know _you_ , Robert, and I know that you’re a liar and a cheat, and it’s only a matter of time before Chrissie sees it too. Someday soon you’ll slip up, and I’ll be there, waiting. I promise you that.”

He’d grit his teeth and scowled at her, staring her down until she’d blinked and shifted on her feet. He’d moved closer then, moving into her space until he could duck down and whisper in her ear, the soft, familiar scent of her perfume catching in her hair and for a second making his chest jolt like it always had done all those years ago.

“You know if you play with fire Katie, you’re gonna get burnt.” He’d whispered. He’d heard he swallow audibly, the soft click of her throat giving away her anxiety, and he’d smirked as he’d stepped away, moving around her and heading back for the door.

“You know one day you’ll get what’s coming to you Robert!” She’d called as he’d opened the door, halfway out into the cold of the night and hand wrapped tightly around the handle. “And when it does I hope it hurts like hell!”

*****

Vic is sat at the kitchen table, 2 steaming coffee cups in front of her, when he walks down the stairs the next morning.

“Robert,” she says as he tries to pass by the room on the way to the front door, steadily keeping his eyes forward. “Come and sit down? Please?”

He stares at the door and feels his jaw clench, hands twitching by his sides in eagerness to reach out and grab for the handle, to just _run_. “I’ve got places to be Vic.”

“It won’t take long!” She replies pleadingly, her voice suddenly a lot closer as she steps into the doorway. “I just – want to see how you are. Heard you walkin’ around a lot last night.”

“Well I’m fine.” He snaps, glancing at his sister’s concerned face from the corner of his eye. “But I’d be even _more_ fine if I could get up there and show Chrissie that she’s made a mistake.” 

Victoria blinks and Robert feels irritation curl in his stomach at the look on her face.

“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” She asks hesitantly, and he clenches his teeth.

“She’s my wife Vic!” He shouts, finally turning to face her and gesturing with his arms. “Yes I made a mistake, but we’re _married_. She can’t just throw it all away!”

“Rob – ”

“Look I’ll see you later.” He cuts her off with finality, moving towards the door and reaching out to open it. He hears her sigh behind him as he closes the door and steps out into the morning chill, the first proper frost of Autumn clinging to the ground all around him.

*****

He lets himself in through the door to Home Farm with his key and slowly walks inside, glancing around the hallway for any signs of Lachlan or Lawrence.

He doesn’t see either and feels himself relax a little, playing absently with the keys in his hands. He walks through to the front room and runs his eyes over the space; everything is as it was when he left 2 days ago, not a single thing out of place as always – almost as if nothing had changed at all.

He spots the photo frame on the fireplace as he scans his gaze about, and finds himself moving instinctively towards it. He runs his finger over the frame, lips thinning as he takes in the image: him and Chrissie on their wedding day. 

It’d always provoked a mixed emotion in him before, memories of Katie and Andy and Aaron all swirled up in that day and lurking at the edges, but it was one of the few photos of the day that he actually looked happy in. Chrissie on the other hand, was grinning bright and her skin slightly flushed from the champagne in each one. She’d looked beautiful and every inch the blushing bride that day, and now stood staring at the image of what was supposed to have been the happiest day of their lives, he wished he’d been able to enjoy it more – wished he hadn’t met Aaron at Wylie’s, wished he’d just let Aaron go like he’d planned all along. 

“What are you doing here?” Chrissie’s voice is cold and Robert startles a little at the sound of it. He turns towards her sharply and swallows nervously at the sight of her.

“Chrissie,” he says quietly, lowering his hand down from the photo frame and shoving them both into his coat pockets. “I came to talk.”

Chrissie snorts and shakes her head; Robert can see the dark circles under her eyes from his place across the room, her hair un-styled and kinked at the tips still from where she’d obviously slept on it in the night.

“There’s nothing to talk about.” She replies flatly, a tired scratchiness to her tone. “We’re over Robert. You cheated and we’re over.”

“But we don’t have to be!” He says, taking a step forward and raising his eyebrows encouragingly. “Chrissie we can work this out!”

Chrissie laughs disbelievingly and shakes her head again, she turns away towards the door and Robert frowns, following her as she leaves the room and heads for the stairs.

“Chrissie, just wait please!” He pleads as she storms down the hallway to their room. He hears the sound of the wardrobe door banging open as he reaches the room, and stands in the doorway eyes wide as she begins chucking his clothes out violently and onto the floor.

“What are you doin’?! Chrissie just stop, please, you don’t need to do this!”

“You slept with another alpha Robert!” She yells loudly, tears visibly pricking in her eyes again as she looks at him and throws a pair of his Italian leather loafers against the base of a chest of drawers. “You slept with a _man_! You lied to me! Over and over, for months!”

“And it was a mistake!” He shouts back, stepping into the room as he feels anger bubble up under his skin. “The worst mistake of my life! It meant nothin’ Chrissie, nothin’ at all! You’re all that matters to me!”

Chrissie wipes at her eyes and pulls at her lower lip with her teeth. She exhales heavily and drops her arms down by her sides, fixing him with a defiant, watery stare as she stands in the middle of the room, clothes strewn all around her.

“If I matter to you you’ll tell me,” she says slowly, pointedly. “You’ll tell me _everything_ Robert, right from the beginning.”

He swallows and shifts on his feet, glancing down at the floor and away from her eyes. Chrissie huffs, and he looks back up at her sharply when he hears her move to start grabbing things from the wardrobe once more. 

“Okay! Okay I’ll tell you. Everything, I swear,” he says hurriedly, inching closer to her as she pauses, floral shirt of his clutched in her hand. She purses her lips and nods, dropping the shirt down on the growing pile of his things.

“When did it start?” She asks, a break in her voice as she looks back up at him with anger in her eyes. “Before or after you both terrorised my father and burgled my house?”

“It was December.” He answers quietly, ignoring Chrissie’s attempt to rile him up with the mention of the break in. “Beginning of December.”

Chrissie sniffs and rubs at her nose, her lips firmly pressed together as she swallows audibly. “And was it like he said it was? Was it you who did the chasing?”

He licks at his lower lip hesitantly and drops his eyes down once more to the floor. Chrissie sighs irritated and snaps his name angrily.

“Robert!”

“Yes, yes, it was me.” He replies quickly, meeting her eyes with shame. “I went after him, I did the chasing.”

“So you’re gay then?” Chrissie asks, upset as her eyes fill once more. Robert’s jaw clenches and he shakes his head hard.

“I’m not gay!” He snaps, feeling his pulse jump. “I like _women_ Chrissie! I like _you_!”

“But you like Aaron too clearly!” Chrissie sneers, her expression twisted as tears spill over her lashes. “You seem to like him _a lot_!”

“No,” he says shortly, continuing to shake his head even as guilt begins to eat away at him. “Aaron was a mistake – ”

“One that kept happening over and over again!” Chrissie shouts, now crying openly, her cheeks pinking in anger. “You loved him, didn’t you? You still do!”

“ _No_!” He protests, despite the plummeting feeling in the pit of his stomach at Chrissie’s accusation, the crush of anxiety tightening his chest.

“You kept his _baby_! You kept his _child_ , Robert!” Chrissie sobs brokenly, and Robert’s heart sinks. “You kept it even though you knew it was his. You wanted it Robert, you wanted his baby!”

Robert stands helplessly, mouth agape as Chrissie continues to cry, hand pressed to her face. He breathes in deeply, emotions swirling sickly in his stomach confused and uncertain. Denial the strongest and most instinctive crawls at his throat, begs him to deny Chrissie’s allegations and make her see that she’s wrong, that the whole thing was a big mistake – that the _baby_ was a mistake; but an overwhelming need to protect his son, defend his unborn child with everything he has, fights back against his self-preservation and leaves him clueless. 

“It’s not – Chrissie, it wasn’t – ”

“Did you bring him here?” Chrissie cuts him off, wiping at her eyes and trying to pull herself back together. “Did you bring him here into our bed?”

He hesitates, thrown by her sudden change of direction, and sees her heart break all over again as she reads the answer on his face.

“When?” She chokes out. “When did you fuck him in our bed?”

“Chrissie – ”

“I said _when_ Robert!” She shouts, face red and eyes burning. Robert swallows and rubs at his face, shoulders slumping defeatedly. 

“Easter,” he says quietly, watching as her eyes widen in realisation. “He stayed here at Easter, when you and Lawrence took Lachlan down to the coast.”

Chrissie laughs once in disbelieve, shaking her head and tears roll down her cheeks. Robert feels his stomach turn and find he can’t bear to look her in the eye anymore.

“You conceived your child in our bed.” She whispers dismayed and shaken. “ _Our bed_ Robert!”

“Chrissie don’t,” he says sadly, chin trembling as he feels the corners of his eyes begin to sting. Chrissie exhales shakily and Robert hears the devastation in her voice. 

“You’re having a baby with Aaron, and you made it in our bed, in our _home_! While I was away and worried about how it was my fault we couldn’t have a child, you were back here making one with someone else!”

“Chrissie, just stop, please!” He begs, taking a step forward and trying to reach out for her, pulling at forearms as she breathes heavily. “It was a mistake, the baby was a mistake!”

“But it’s still _here_!” Chrissie yells, sobbing as she tries to pull away from his hold. “You kept it Robert! You didn’t get rid of it, you _kept_ it!”

“I’m – I’m sorry.” He breaks, voice all but a whisper as tears blur his eyes. “Chrissie I’m so sorry.”

Chrissie crumples completely and he pulls her close, wrapping an arm around her shoulders as she cries uncontrollably into his shoulder. He sniffs and wipes at his face with his free hand, as Chrissie fists his jacket between her fingers and pulls.

“I’m so sorry.” He murmurs shakily, tentatively curling a hand in the back of her hair. “But we can still work this out, you’re what I want Chrissie! You and the life we have are what I want!”

Chrissie tightens her grasp briefly before shoving him away hard, Robert stumbles back a little, brow furrowed in confusion as Chrissie gasps between sobs, her expression one of fury. 

“Are you insane?” She snaps, anger and bewilderment written all over her face. “Do you honestly think this is something we can work out?! You’re _pregnant with another man’s child_!”

“It’d be hard work I know.” Robert starts, stepping in closer once more as he widens his eyes earnestly. “But – ”

“But _nothing_!” Chrissie yells, her expression incredulous as she stares back at him with a raised eyebrow. “If you think I’m just going to smile and play happy families with you and Aaron and _your son_ Robert, then you’re more delusional that I thought!”

“Chrissie – ”

“The only way this could _ever_ work is if that baby is _gone_!” She shouts, her tone vicious and scorned. “But it’s not, it’s _here_ , you kept it and now it’s too late and it’ll _always_ be here. The product of you cheating on me for months on end, and you want me to be it’s _mother_? You want me to care about it when I hate it and you, and _Aaron_ , for doing this to me?! You need to leave Robert, you need to leave _now_!”

She points at the door, her jawline tight as she glares over at him, her eyes red-rimmed. Robert blinks at her, lips parted in protest and he moves to step in closer again, when Chrissie steps back and shakes her head hard.

“I said _leave_ Robert! Get _out_!”

He sighs and looks away down to the floor, the scattered pieces of his belongings lying between them, twisted and crumpled in some sick representation of the remains of their marriage. Chrissie turns away from him to face the window and he feels his shoulders sag in defeat. He turns away too, towards the door, and leaves as asked without looking back.

*****

He’d known it was perfect as soon as he’d seen it.

It’d been clean cut, large single diamond on a thin platinum band. It’d sparkled like nothing else under the bright lights of the counters, and he’d known deep down in his gut that it’d been _the one_.

“Can I help you?” The sales assistant had asked, drawing closer towards him as if sensing a sale like a shark sensing blood. He’d nodded and glanced up at her before looking back at the ring, pointing to it briefly with his index finger as he’d spoken.

“I’d like a look at this one if that’s alright.”

The sales assistant had nodded and smiled, unclipped her keys from her belt and reaching into the cabinet.

“Excellent choice sir!” She’d grinned, taking the ring out and placing it down on a cushion of velvet for him to look at. “Your girlfriend is a lucky lady.”

“Yeah well.” He’d smiled, picking the ring up and tilting it from side to side, watching the cut shift in a spectrum as the light passed through it. “Think she’d probably argue that _I_ was the lucky one.”

The sales assistant had giggled and Robert had sucked at his lower lip, still considering the jewellery in his hand.

“I’ll take it,” he’d said eventually, placing it back down on the cushion, and the sales assistant had practically beamed as she’d rang his purchase through, his credit card taking a pounding as he pressed in his pin.

It’d been worth it though 2 days later when Chrissie had all but burst into tears at the sight of it; and as he’d slid it securely onto her finger, she’d kissed him hard and possessive, the palm of her hand curled claiming around his cheek.

*****

He parks up outside of Vic’s and leans his head back on the headrest tiredly.

He can feel a tension headache beginning to pull at his temples, a steady throb of his pulse behind his eyeballs that makes him groan and wince with every move of his head. Chrissie’s broken sobs still ring in his ears and he hopes desperately that Vic is still working, not 100% sure he could take her needling right now without shouting.

He gazes out of the windscreen absently, trying to steel himself to leave the car and go inside, when he sees the door to David’s open and a familiar dark hoodie clad figure step out onto the street. His heart jolts in his chest, and before he can stop himself, he shoves open the door to the car and climbs out with little grace.

“Aaron!” He shouts, slamming the car door and starting a brisk way down the middle of the road. Aaron looks around at the call of his name, and even from a distance Robert can see him roll his eyes before he turns away again.

“Aaron! Aaron _wait_!” Robert pleads, almost breaking out into a half run that his body protests at, as he tries to stop Aaron from walking away. “Aaron please, just _stop_!”

Aaron halts with a huff, and Robert sighs as he sees him turn around reluctantly.

“What do you want?” Aaron bites out, his tone harsh in a way that makes Robert blink in surprise. Robert slows down his steps to a standstill, hand pressed against the curve of his stomach, and feels his lips part in realisation that he hadn’t considered what he would say when he actually caught Aaron.

“I er…” He trails off, curling his hands and hunching his shoulders as he buries his fists in his coat pocket. “I just – wanted to see if you were okay.”

Aaron snorts and pulls a face, unimpressed as he shakes his head. 

“Yeah I’m great.” He drawls, every word dripping with sarcasm, the small cut on his lip pulls as he moves his mouth and Robert find his eyes drawn to it without his permission. “Never been better. In fact your missus tellin’ me mum about the kid is the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

Robert glances away briefly, chastised, and swallows. “Aaron – ”

“So where is she? She not fall for it then? Didn’t take you back after you went up there beggin’ for another chance?” He spits, cutting Robert off before he can even begin. Robert furrows his brow, confused as to how Aaron would know, and Aaron laughs bitterly biting at his lip. 

“Heard Vic telling Diane this morning. Should’ve known really ‘cause you’re just a coward Robert.” Aaron answers quietly as if reading his mind. “All you care about is money and yourself, and provin’ to everyone your somethin’ that you’re not. You can’t even leave that poor cow of a wife of yours alone even when she’s told you to do one, because you’re that desperate to cling on to her cash! It’s pathetic!”

Robert’s nose flares and his jaw clenches, hurt lances at his skin and he takes a step closer to Aaron, rejection squirming in the pit of his stomach and making him bite in anger.

“And I’m supposed to think this is you giving a shit about Chrissie?” He snaps, raising his brow and widening his eyes as he sneers. “You could care less about Chrissie, you just want me all to yourself like you always have done! So if I’m pathetic what are _you_ Aaron? Clingin’ onto something which is never gonna happen!”

Aaron laughs, his teeth bared as he shakes his head. His hand comes up to rub at his face, and Robert feels his temple throb as his jawline clenches harder at Aaron’s response.

“You’re havin’ a laugh mate.” Aaron jeers lowly, stepping into Robert’s space and raising his chin as his eyes glow with anger. “I don’t want _anythin’_ to do with ya, and I wouldn’t even if you were the last bloke on Earth. So why don’t you fuck off back up the big house and try beggin’ your missus again, because she might actually want ya if you try hard enough.” 

His shoulder bangs into Robert’s as he passes and Robert stumbles back a little at the force of it. He feels a sting in the corner of his eye and bites at his lip; wrapping his coat closer around him as he turns back to head up to Vic’s house, he keeps his head ducked and eyes trained blurrily to the ground.

*****

He’d been sat outside in the car for 10 minutes before Aaron had appeared through the door.

He hadn’t really known why he was still sat there, after storming out he should he just gone, should have headed straight back up to Home Farm and moaned at Chrissie about his ridiculous family; but instead he’d sat there in the car park, engine running and hands wrapped around the steering wheel but unwilling to move, and it wasn’t until he’d seen Aaron step up alongside the car that he’d realised why.

“You know I always thought I wanted a brother until I met you two,” Aaron had said teasingly, burying his hands in his pockets and rocking on his heels. Robert had huffed a ghost of a laugh and had shaken his head amused.

“Well you can have him if you want? Not like I want anythin’ to do with him.”

Aaron had smiled at that, the first proper one Robert had actually seen from him, and he’d felt his belly flip disconcertingly. Aaron had pulled his lower lip between his teeth and had scuffed his shoe into the floor, and Robert had swallowed heavily.

“You know I was gonna go into town for a drink,” Aaron had said carefully, a soft, hesitant look to his eyes as he’d curled his shoulders up in a shrug. “Join me if you want?”

Robert had blinked blankly for a second, before he’d curled his lips into a half smirk, his pulse thumping at the base of his throat uncomfortably, even as he’d tried to steel his face into one of amusement.

“You what?”

Aaron’s smile had fallen a little and he’d shrugged again, this time more defensive and closed and Robert’s stomach had sloshed uneasily. “You know, just a drink?”

“And why would I wanna go anywhere with you?” Robert had asked in reply, his tone one step away from mocking as he’d peered up at Aaron from under a put-upon frown. Aaron had blinked at him once, before looking away from him and shaking his head; Robert had felt the disappointment radiating off him in waves, and he’d swallowed back the feel of regret that crept over him at being responsible for putting that look on Aaron’s face.

“You know what forget it.” Aaron had muttered, stepping back away from the car and burying his hands deeper into his pockets. “See you around.”

Robert had watched him walk away through the windscreen, had followed him with his eyes until Aaron disappeared completely from his line of sight. When Aaron had gone, he’d slumped back with a groan against his seat and pressed his thumb and index finger into his eyes. Bright spots had burnt into the backs of his eyelids at the pressure, and he’d sighed tiredly when the woman on the radio had cheerfully announced the time before starting the news.

When he’d finally driven out of the village 5 minutes later, he’d seen Aaron climbing on the bus into Hotten. For a second their eyes had caught through two panes of glass, before he’d looked away sharply, and changed down a gear to speed out and on to the country lanes without looking back.

*****

Vic comes into the kitchen as he is buttering his toast at the counter.

“Morning,” she says warmly as she steps past him on her way to the kettle. “Didn’t see much of you yesterday, thought you might have come by the pub for your tea.”

Robert snorts and scrapes his knife across the edges of the bread a little firmer than usual. “Yeah because after the day I’d had, the first thing I’d want is Chas glaring at me across the bar while I eat my dinner.”

“Well Chas wasn’t working last night and she’s had today off too, so if you fancy it later you could come over, doin’ Shepherd’s Pie today.” Vic replies, stepping up beside him and grabbing the milk from the fridge. Robert rolls his eyes and picks up the plate, carrying it over and dropping down to sit at the kitchen table. 

“Yeah I’ll see Vic.” He mumbles as he takes a bite from his toast. He slips his phone from his jeans pocket and taps at the lock button lighting up the screen. No new messages. He hits the lock once more and takes another glum bite.

“So…” Vic trails off carefully, teaspoon tinkling against the side of her mug as she walks over to take the free seat. “How did it go yesterday? With Chrissie?”

“Well I’m still here aren’t I?” He grunts out, gesturing around the room with a raised eyebrow. “She says we’re over, that there’s nothin’ I can do.”

“Well can you blame her?” Vic asks pointedly, her tone of voice unsympathetic as she places her teaspoon down on the table. “You cheated on her for months Robert.”

He furrows his eyebrows and tosses his half-eaten slice of toast back down onto the plate, suddenly not hungry.

“Thanks for that Vic!” He says sharply, pushing his chair back from the table and standing up. “You know if you’re gonna sit there and have a go then I’m not in the mood alright?”

“I’m not havin’ a go!” She answers quickly, reaching out and grabbing for his wrist before he can walk away. “I’m just worried about ya okay? Look, Adam said he saw Aaron last night, said you’d both had a run in and Aaron was fuming.”

He swallows back the jolt of upset he feels at the memory of Aaron’s face, hatred burning in his eyes, and attempts to shrug it off with Victoria’s hand still clutching at his arm. “And?”

“And you can talk to me!” Vic all but pleads, her eyes bright and concerned as they scan over his face. “I know you say you want Chrissie back, but you were with Aaron for months! You’re having a baby together and I _know_ what I saw back at the hospital Robert, I know it’s not just nothin’ for ya!”

He thins his lips and shakes his head in denial, fear and anxiety wells up inside him and he feels himself begin to sweat a little, the urge to run proving to be much too strong as he shakes himself out of Vic’s hold. 

“Well you’re wrong.” He snaps, stepping away from the table and attempting to calm his expression into something of earnestness. “Aaron was a mistake and he knows it. It’s not my fault he can’t handle that!”

“Robert!” Vic protests as he turns away, he doesn’t stop though or reply, and picks his keys up from the bowl beside the door as he slams it closed behind him.

*****

He makes for the pub because it’s cold without a jacket, and he isn’t sure where else to go when he doesn’t have his wallet on him either. Diane is behind the bar as promised thankfully, and he immediately take a seat on a stool, rubbing a hand tiredly over his face.

“You look like you could do with a drink pet,” Diane’s voice says, but Robert can hear the hint of forcedness behind her pleasant tone. He chooses to ignore it and sighs, dropping his hand down onto the bar top. 

“Dunno about a drink, could do with a whole bottle.” He huffs, trying to create some semblance of a smile on his face. Diane flashes him back something not much better, and she sighs, gesturing over her shoulder to the door behind her.

“Go on, through to the back,” she says, before turning to catch Marlon making his way through towards the kitchen. “Er Marlon, mind watching the bar for a few minutes?”

Marlon halts abruptly and scowls, his chef’s bandana sitting awkwardly on his brow. 

“I’ve got carrots to prepare Diane, as well as 30 soufflés to make!”

Diane smiles and pats him quickly on the shoulder. 

“Thanks pet!” She replies, before glancing back over at Robert and nodding at him as she walks towards the back room. “Now you, in here, I’ll make us a brew.”

Robert’s lips twitch and he pushes up from his stool. He hears Marlon muttering under his breath as he passes by him, and follows Diane through to the living room. She’s already at the kettle when he moves into the kitchen, and takes a seat at the table when she shoos him away as he makes to reach for the teabags. 

“Now I’ll make no bones about it Robert,” she says, opening the fridge for the milk and glancing briefly over towards him. “What you and Aaron have done to Chrissie is disgraceful.”

Robert straightens in his seat at that, taken aback by Diane’s abruptness as she continues to carry on with making the tea. He feels the defensive instinct to lash out well up in his chest, but forces it down as Diane picks up the two mugs and brings them over to the table. 

“It was a mistake,” he says instead, clipped and careful as he excepts the drink for her with both hands. “I know it was wrong, and I shouldn’t have done it, but it was a mistake and I love Chrissie.”

“Well you’ve got a funny way of showin’ it.” Diane replies dryly, sitting down and leaning back in her chair. Robert is unable to stop himself from rolling his eyes and Diane notes it with a raised eyebrow.

“Now I’m not having a go.” She continues, placing her mug down on the table. “But that poor woman has had her life turned upside down by the two of you, and the least you can do is respect her wishes and give her some space.”

“So you’re saying I should just give up?” He answers, voice a little tense as his fingers tighten around his mug. “Just roll over and accept that my marriage is done?”

Diane sighs and shakes her head. “What I’m sayin’ Robert is that Chrissie needs _time_ , time to get her head around this! Mistake or not Robert, but what you did to Chrissie was awful, and at some point you’ll probably have to accept that your marriage is over, yes.”

Robert drops his mug down onto the table with a thunk and looks away over Diane’s shoulder, his arms coming to fold across his chest and resting lightly over the top of the bump, his teeth clenched and grinding together.

“It’s not just Chrissie though, Diane! It’s my entire _life_! My home, my job!” He snaps, anger finally bubbling to the surface and spilling bitter on his tongue. “I helped to build that company, without me Lawrence wouldn’t have half the clients he does, and I should just give that up? I’ll have nothing Diane! Nothin’ if Chrissie walks away!”

“But that’s not true at all is it?” Diane asks, leaning forward in her seat until she can rest her arms on the table. “You’ll have your family, and most importantly you’ll have that baby. _He_ is the most important thing in all of this Robert! Not your marriage, nor your job or your money, but that little boy of yours and he needs to come first!”

He swallows heavily and glances away, biting at his lip as chastisement prickles at his skin and he nods his head. He knows underneath it all that she’s right, that his son should be his priority, should be his main focus regardless of what he might be left with after any separation from Chrissie. But the reckless, selfish part of himself, the part his father scorned and hated, can’t let it go, can’t let go of the loss and go back to having nothing, _being nothing_ , and having to start all over again. 

“I know,” he says roughly in response, shifting a little in his seat and rubbing his palms along the tops of his thighs. “I know, and your right. He needs to come first, and I need to make sure that happens. He deserves the best start I can give him.”

Diane smiles with a nod and sips slowly from her tea. “See? We’ll make a parent out of you yet pet.”

He smiles back at her weakly in reply and twists the handle of his mug around to curl his fingers around it carefully. Marlon shouts Diane’s name from out in the bar and he sees Diane roll her eyes with a sigh.

“I’d better go, I’ll never hear the end of it if I leave him out there much longer!” She says fondly, pushing her chair back and standing. “You feel free to stay in here as long as you want though, Chas is out at the salon so she won’t be back for a few hours yet. And if you want lunch, Vic’s doin’ a Shepherd’s Pie from 12 so just let her know.”

He nods in reply and smiles at her quickly. “Thanks Diane. And thanks for the chat, you’ve really helped put things in perspective.”

Diane smiles once more and ducks out of the room, her heels clicking on the floorboards as she disappears down the corridor. He waits until he can’t hear her footsteps anymore, quickly scanning his eyes about the room, before slipping his phone from his pocket and hitting the unlock hastily. He opens his contacts, hesitating his thumb only slightly over the first name in his list, before scrolling on down and hitting call on the contact before he can think twice. 

“Hi is this George? … Hi George, this is Robert Sugden, I was wondering if you would be able to help me.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Many doors are slammed in this chapter. (I'm so sorry this took so long. *hides* I'm a bad person.)

Lawrence had been acting strangely and Robert had been bemused. 

He’d caught his father-in-law staring at him frequently – which in fairness wasn’t all that unusual, as he’d become used to the man ogling him from across the office, when he thought Robert couldn’t see, over the course of the years – however what _had_ been unusual was the _nature_ of the stare. He’d seemed almost _proud_ rather than lustful, and that in of itself had baffled Robert beyond belief. 

His bewilderment had only increased when Chrissie had mentioned to him one day about how Lawrence had been questioning her about their relationship, asking her if she thought they’d last. She’d side eyed him as she’d told him, her expression one of not quite distaste, and he’d tightened his jaw in response, wondering to himself how long it would take her to get over her discovery of the robbery. 

However Lawrence’s bizarre behaviour had all become clear one morning when he’d cornered Robert in the office, a manila folder in hand and a wide smile on his face. He’d brandished the folder towards him, and Robert had taken it with a frown and a look of confusion.

“I want to make you a Director!” Lawrence had announced, puffing his chest up and straightening up to his full height. “You’re a part of the family now, and hopefully soon, you and Chrissie will have a child who will need the security that you being a part of the business in an official capacity will bring. I can assure you that the perks are shall we say, _generous_ , and if you accept I can have George file the paperwork today.”

Robert had blinked at him wide eyed and completely taken aback. He’d had to take a moment for the question to sink in, but when it had he’d beamed, lips parting in a stunned laugh and he’d nodded his head eagerly, fingers tightening around the folder desperately.

“Yes! Yes of course!” He’d stammered out, still shocked but completely _ecstatic_. “I’d love to! And I won’t let you down, I promise. I’ll continue to work as hard, if not harder, than I always do!”

Lawrence had laughed at that, the sound deep and throaty, and he’d taken Robert’s hand in a tight handshake. 

“Oh that I have no doubt!” He’d chuckled, his eyes sparkling in both amusement and intimidation as he’d held onto Robert’s hand firmly with both of his own. “Because if you _don’t_ Robert, I promise you, you won’t know what will hit you!”

*****

He’s sat on the sofa, the 10 o’clock news blaring on the TV and feet kicked up on the coffee table, when he hears the front door close.

“Rob?” Vic’s voice calls from the hallway, the sound of her keys dropping into the bowl following it. “Is that you?”

“Yeah Vic,” he says with a sigh, folding his arms over his chest as Vic walks in through the doorway, her hair a mess of flyaways from being shoved underneath her chef’s hat all day. He peers up at her defiantly and she smiles weakly. 

“You have a good day?” She asks tentatively, moving around the sofa to take a seat in the armchair. “Diane said you went over to the pub after – well… but you were gone by the time I popped through at lunch.”

He shifts a little in the seat, pushing his back further into the cushions as he shrugs. “Had something I needed to do in Hotten, couldn’t wait.”

She nods and taps her hands on her thighs once, exhaling pointedly as she scoots to the edge of the chair.

“Well I don’t know about you but I’m shattered,” she says heavily. “I told Adam I fancied an early night and could he take the hint? No. Started playin’ darts with Aa– Andy, so thought I’d come back. Have a nice bath, bottle of pinot… maybe spend some time with my big brother?”

Robert glances at her and raises an eyebrow, she smiles innocent and hopeful, and he sighs. 

“I’m pretty tired to be honest Vic.” He answers lowly, rubbing at one side of his face before placing a hand over his belly as the baby moves. “And he’s been givin’ me grief all evening. Not exactly in the mood.”

“Well we can just watch a film?” She says with a shrug. “I can microwave some popcorn, can open that bar of Galaxy Adam thinks he’s hidden from me in the fridge?”

He sighs again and shifts up in his seat. “I dunno Vic – ”

The sound of keys in the door again cuts him off, and he furrows his brow confused until Adam’s irritating voice sounds from the hall.

“Babe? Turns out I fancied an early night after all!” He shouts, his clomping feet echoing on the floorboards as he walks towards the front room. “Only so much of Aaron’s mopin’ I can take, and it ain’t nothin’ to do with losin’ – oh!”

Victoria smiles up at her husband tightly, and Robert sees Adam’s face shift into something defensive and closed off as he looks over at him. 

“Alright Rob?” He asks, his tone of voice cold as Robert sees his shoulders straighten. He nods in response and drops his feet back down onto the floor, pushing himself up to stand.

“I’m gonna head up,” he says, gesturing towards the stairs and clearing his throat. “Got to be up early, got stuff to do.”

“You sure?” Vic says with a frown, twisting in her seat as Robert rounds the sofa towards the door. “I’m pretty sure I saw that The Green Mile is on at half 10, we could watch that?”

Robert frowns and digs his hands into his jeans pockets, pulling a face as Victoria looks at him encouragingly. “Vic you hate that film.”

“No!” She protests, even though Robert can see the falsehood written in her expression. “It just makes me cry is all. Besides, it’s one of your favourites!”

He sighs and rubs at his eyes, fully aware of Adam still stood off to the side waiting, eyes boring into the side of his head. “Another time yeah?”

Vic’s lips thin but she nods, her shoulders slumping as she quickly glances towards Adam. Robert feels his jaw flex and he forces a brief smile in her direction, before turning to brush past Adam and walk through the door. As he walks up the stairs he pretends he doesn’t hear their hushed, tense voices, and heads directly for the spare bedroom door.

*****

He leaves early the next morning, while Vic is in the shower and Adam is still loitering in bed. It’s cold out, the first frost of autumn covering the ground, and he pulls his jacket closer around himself as he walks down the path towards his car.

He switches the heaters on full as he sits inside the car, waiting for it to warm up, and rubs his hands together trying to fight off the chill as glances over towards the seat beside him. The brown leather-bound folder still lays discarded in the centre, just the corner of one of the many papers poking out from the one edge, and he smirks, looking away as he slots the car into gear and releases the handbrake. 

It doesn’t take him long to reach Home Farm, and as he pulls up on the gravel driveway he feels a thrum of excitement vibrate under his skin. He grabs the folder on his way out of the car and walks the short distance to the office door, slipping his keys out of his pocket and carefully turning them in the lock.

The office is quiet and still, and he gently closes the door behind him, switching on the lamp as he moves over to his desk and dropping the folder down. He opens his laptop and boots it up, settling back into his chair and steepling his fingers together to rest over the bump as he waits.

He’s working his way through the emails when the inside door to the office opens, the sounds from the house carrying in behind the intruder. Robert turns his head to look over his shoulder and grins obnoxiously as Lawrence glares at him from the doorway.

“Mornin’!” He says brightly, swivelling his chair around to look at his father-in-law. “Nice of you to show up, finally.”

“What are you _doing here_!” Lawrence growls through his teeth, stepping inside and slamming the door hard. Robert purses his lips and raises an eyebrow, gesturing around the room pointedly.

“Working. Obviously.” He answers innocently with a shrug. Lawrence’s face twists into something scathing and he shakes his head hard.

“If you think you still have a job here after what you’ve done to my daughter! Get out! _Now_! Before I call the police.”

Robert snorts, and smirks as he leans back in his seat, crossing his legs at his ankles. “See and that’s where you’re wrong, I _do_ still have a job here. I’m a Director, Lawrence, you can’t just get rid of me.”

Lawrence sneers and walks over towards his desk, reaching for his phone. “Oh we’ll see about that.”

“I wouldn’t actually if I was you,” Robert says, pushing himself up from his chair and grabbing the folder from beside his laptop. “See it’s all in here, and I wouldn’t want you getting done for wasting police time.”

He chucks the folder down onto Lawrence’s desk and steps back, folding his arms over his chest smugly. Lawrence frowns and snatches up the folder flicking it open.

“You see.” Robert starts, raising his brow and straightening his shoulders. “Turns out as a Director you can’t sack me, you need to get the board to vote me out and well, I’ve already spoken to them.”

“Where did you get this?” Lawrence asks darkly, glaring over at him as he pauses his page turning. Robert’s lips twitch in a satisfied smile and he shifts to lean against the edge of his desk.

“George! Good old lawyer George sent it over. He was very helpful, you should give him a raise.” 

Lawrence snaps the folder shut and lifts his head, looking at Robert from down his nose. “It won’t last, the board will see sense sooner rather later and then you’ll be out of our lives _for good_.”

Robert laughs and shakes his head, sighing with amusement as Lawrence scowls harder.

“Trust me, they won’t. They all know _exactly_ what I have done for this company, they all said as much yesterday.” He grins satisfied. He unfolds his arms and takes a step closer to Lawrence, pulling himself up to his full height. “No, the only way you’ll ‘get rid’ of me is if you pay my settlement, it’s all in there in the contract. £500,000.”

Lawrence snarls, tossing the folder down on the desk in disgust and moving in closer to Robert’s space. Robert holds himself still, unflinching, even as rage burns bright in Lawrence’s eyes, his alpha pheromones pungent and choking. “As if I would pay you a _penny_! You’ve ruined Chrissie’s life and what, you expect me to _reward_ you for it?! To fund your illegitimate brat’s way through university?! You _really are_ a despicable piece of work!”

Robert smiles at him hard, jaw tight at the cutting reference to his son, but he doesn’t allow himself the emotional reflexive response he longs to give, instead choosing to press at Lawrence’s buttons.

“So, that’s a no then?” He taunts, widening his eyes in false innocence and grinning when Lawrence’s nostrils flare. 

“Get out.” He all but growls, and Robert shakes his head, turning away to take a seat back at his desk.

“Oh I don’t think I will,” he says cheerfully, glancing back over his shoulder and raising an eyebrow. Lawrence’s face is flushed red with anger, and he feels triumph settle warmly under his skin. “No, I think I’ll stay _right here_.”

*****

When he opens the front door he’s met immediately with Vic stood in the hallway.

“Rob!” She says, tone almost scolding him, and he frowns as he shrugs out of his coat. “Where have you been? I’ve been calling you all day?!”

“Working.” He answers flatly, narrowing his eyes at her puzzled. “It’s a Wednesday Vic, where else am I gonna be?”

“Working?” She repeats carefully, her eyes flickering over his face quickly as her lips press together. “Up at Home Farm?”

Robert sighs and moves to push past her to head towards the kitchen. “It _is_ where I work Vic!”

He halts abruptly when he reaches the doorway and sees Diane and Andy sat at the table. Diane looks at him with an overly cheerful smile that doesn’t quite reach her eyes, and Andy doesn’t even bother to raise his head, just toys with his can of beer and studiously avoids his face.

“So, what’s this then?” He asks, turning back to look at Vic with displeasure and gesturing towards Diane and Andy. “Some sort of intervention?”

“No,” Vic says, her face projecting innocence, as she steps passed him towards the oven. “This is dinner, just a nice family tea with the 4 of us. I made lasagne, and we’ve got a pavlova for pudding.”

Robert scoffs and shakes his head, looking between the 3 of them unamused. “Are you being serious?”

“We just thought it would be nice for all of us to sit down together as a family.” Diane replies, nodding at Vic in agreement. Vic smiles back and bends down to slide the lasagne out of the oven, placing it down on the counter beside a stack of plates.

“Now sit yourself down,” she says, gesturing towards him with a spatula and pointing towards the closest free chair. “Don’t think you’re getting out of this Robert ‘cause you’re not.”

His jaw clenches, the urge to simply refuse and head up the stairs strong, but then Diane raises an eyebrow at him and looks at him with a no-nonsense expression, and he rolls his eyes, pulling out a chair and taking a seat.

Vic presents them all with plates of steaming lasagne and grins as she takes a seat. Robert toys with his food, pushing it around with his fork as Vic and Diane tuck in to their own. He notes Andy doing the same across the table, still avoiding his eyes like the plague, and for once feels a kind of affinity for him, both of them clearly not wanting to be in the current situation they’ve been forced into.

“So!” Vic says, reaching for her glass of water and taking a sip. “How’s things goin’ up at the farm? Did Moira say how long she’d need you up at the caravan for?”

Andy shrugs and drops his own fork down on the plate, glances over at Vic and purses his lips. 

“Dunno. Could be weeks.” He answers lowly, his eyes very briefly flicking towards Robert before looking away quickly. “Depends how long the vermin plan on stickin’ around.”

Robert clenches his fist around his knife, his jawline tightening and flexing. He forces himself to relax, and affects an air of indifference as he cuts into his pasta, keeping his head down and not giving Andy the satisfaction.

“Well you’ve always still got a bed here,” Vic says resolutely, her tone purposeful and encouraging. “So if you fancy popping down here one night, that’s totally fine.”

Robert hears Andy grunt in response and he glances at him from under his lashes. Andy looks up at him at the same time and their eyes meet awkwardly across the table; Robert quickly looks away and shoves half a forkful of food in his mouth just as a distraction.

“And.” Vic starts carefully, her tone cautious and Robert’s stomach immediately sinks. “How was work today for you Robert?”

“Fine,” he says sharply, dragging his fork through the mush on his plate and pointedly not looking at his sister. Vic hums in acknowledgement and Robert can tell from the sound she’s only just getting started.

“Did you get much done?”

“Yep.” He answers, popping the ‘p’ and tapping his thumb anxiously along the handle of his knife. He sees Vic shift in her seat from the corner of his eye, and tenses his shoulders.

“And did you…” She trails off, before clearing her throat softly. “Did you see Chrissie at all.”

Robert huffs loudly and drops his knife and fork down onto his plate with a clatter, looking up and glaring at Vic who blinks at him innocently. 

“No. I didn’t. And d’ya know what Vic? _It’s none of your business._ What I do or say to my wife has absolutely _nothin’_ to do with you, so just _back off_!”

“Robert!” Diane scolds, looking at him with disappointment. “Do you really think that’s any way to speak to your sister after all she’s doin’ for you?!”

He snorts unamused and smiles bitterly at them all. “What I should be grateful for this? You all sittin’ here pretending to give a shit when all you’re really doin’ is _judging_ me?!”

“Nobody’s judging you Robert!” Vic argues, dropping down her own cutlery and frowning at him. “We’re just worried!”

“Oh nobody’s judging me?” Robert sneers, looking at all of them individually and shaking his head. “Try telling that to The Hulk over there, he’s so tense I’m surprised he’s not busted out of that shirt!”

Andy’s face twists and he leans back from the table, folding his arms across his chest with displeasure. Vic sighs with irritation beside him and Robert clenches his jaw.

“We don’t care that you’re gay, Robert!” She shouts exasperated. “It don’t matter to us if you like men!”

He flinches, her words hitting him hard in the centre of his chest, and he feels sickness slosh heavily in his stomach. Anxiety thrums under his skin, and he shifts fretfully in his chair, nervous anger bubbling up inside him. 

“For the last time Vic, _I’m not gay_! What will it take to get it through your _thick_ skull?!”

Andy laughs, scathing, and shakes his head. 

“You tell Aaron that one?” He says, and Robert’s teeth grind together painfully as he shoves his chair back away from the table and stands.

“You know what, I’m done here. Done with the lot of ya!” He snaps viciously, brow furrowed and scowling as he turns away from the 3 of them still sat around the table, all looking at him with varying expressions of disappointment and in Andy’s case resentment.

“Robert!” Vic’s voice calls, but he doesn’t stop and makes for the front door. Slamming it closed hard behind him.

*****

The first time he’d felt the pull of attraction to someone of the same sex, he hadn’t really known that that was what it was.

There’d been a boy in his class when he was 10. A boy with dark shaggy hair, and big brown eyes that he’d found himself trying to catch a glimpse of, whenever the opportunity had arisen. He’d thought it was just admiration at first, the boy had been good at football and the girls had all wanted to get caught by him when they’d played kiss chase in the playground, but then he’d get these butterflies in his stomach when the boy spoke to him. The same ones he’d get when he’d catch sight of Alice in Year 8, when she come down to meet her little sister outside the school gate, her hair pretty in a complicated braid. 

It’d been strange, and as he’d felt it more and more he’d quickly told himself never to mention it to anyone. He’d already begun to realise that he was a bit different from the other boys, his frame smaller and more delicate than the others, who’d looked strong and would fight each other just for fun. So he’d kept it to himself and had tried to push the feeling away, had tried to bottle it up and hide it deep down where nobody would ever find it, where nobody would think to look.

And if when the boy had moved to Manchester before the Christmas holidays with no real warning, he’d cried into his pillow and had felt like his chest was breaking in half, he’d kept that to himself too. Because nobody would have understood it, that strange pain that he knew deep down was wrong to feel, nobody; not even as someone as kind and nice as his mum.

*****

He stays at the B&B, Val taking one look at him and showing him to a guest room with a knowing smirk on her face. She tries to corner him in the morning, persuade him to have breakfast with her so she can obviously interrogate him for gossip, but he dodges her invitation by the well-timed arrival of a party of unexpected walkers looking for a room. He slips out the door and out into the cold, heading straight for the café and a cup of coffee.

He pushes the door open to the café and steps inside, flexing his hands to try and generate some heat, and immediately bumps into Chas, her startling somewhat as she tries to keep a grip on her cup of takeaway coffee.

“Sorry,” he says awkwardly, barely looking at her as he steps aside to let her past. She doesn’t move though, and he glances at her tense expression puzzled.

“Look Chas, I’m not in the mood for it.” He sighs tiredly, shrugging his shoulders and eyeing her wearily. “So just say what you want to say and get it over with.”

Chas straightens and her mouth purses, she passes her cup from one hand to another and shifts on her feet.

“I want to see the baby, when he’s born.” She answers confrontationally, her head held high as she stares him down. Robert blinks at her blankly for a moment and she frowns, irritation quite clear on her face.

“He’s my grandson and I have every right to, so don’t think you can stop me!”

Robert shrugs and buries his hands in his jeans pockets casually. “If you wanna see him then that’s fine,” he says amicably, and she looks at him taken aback. “Like you said he’s your grandson. I mean he won’t have any grandparents on my side so, y’know, it’d be good – for him at least.”

She nods and glances down at her hands, collecting herself before she looks back at him, her face a mask of disinterest. “Right, well, that’s all I wanted to say.”

He nods in reply and she moves to push past him. He turns quickly on impulse though, and calls her name before she can reach for the door handle.

“Chas!” He says, and she pauses briefly looking at him over her shoulder. Robert shuffles on his feet and ducks his head before steeling himself and look her in the eye.

“Er, how’s… how’s Aaron? Is he alright?” He asks feebly, licking his lips where they suddenly feel dry. Chas scowls and smiles at him nastily.

“Let me make this clear to ya. Just because you’ve agreed to let me see the baby doesn’t mean I’m going to tell you _anything_ about my son.” She belittles, her eyes bright. “He’s better off without you, so just leave him alone yeah? Or you’ll have me to answer to.”

With that she pulls open the door with force, the bell tinkling alarmingly, and disappears outside without so much as a glance back. Robert swallows and feels his lips purse tight, heaviness settling uncomfortably in his chest. A throat clears itself behind him and he turns sharply, rubbing a hand over his face and looking at Bob stood behind the counter, smiling at his expectantly.

“Er sorry,” he says, shaking his head to clear his thoughts. “Can I get an Americano to go?”

*****

He makes it up to Home Farm by mid-morning, half-drunk coffee still in hand as he walks in through the door. As he steps inside he sees Chrissie stood with her back towards him as she riffles through a filing cabinet, he closes the door quietly and she turns around, her eyes widening briefly before her face falls into a look of anger.

“What are you doing here?!” She snaps, clenching her fingers around the file in her hand. “Get out!”

Robert’s mouth thins, and he walks further into the room, placing his cup down on the edge of his desk. “Did Lawrence not tell you?”

“Did he not tell me what?” She bites out, dropping the file down onto her desk and folding her arms. Robert clears his throat awkwardly and folds his hands into the pockets of his leather jacket, ducking his head a little to look at Chrissie carefully.

“I still work here, and I will be for the foreseeable.”

Chrissie laughs loudly, unamused and scornful. “Oh you _are_ joking?!”

Robert shakes his head slowly and Chrissie’s face drops, rage beginning to burn in her eyes as she flashes her teeth at him.

“You cheat on me for months, get pregnant with some thug alpha from the village’s baby, and then to rub it all in my face, you don’t even have the decency to walk away from the business?! Oh you have got some _nerve_!” 

Robert tightens his jaw and steps in closer, holding himself well as Chrissie stares him down, hate for him tangible in the air. He straightens his shoulders and looks at her with confidence.

“Look, I made this business what it is!” He says hard, even as she snorts. “I was the one who got us the big clients, did the big deals, and if you think I’m just gonna walk away from it all with nothin’ to show for it then _you’re_ the one who’s joking.”

“You’re disgusting.” Chrissie seethes, leaning into him a little and glaring. “What did I _ever_ see in you?!”

Robert smirks without it reaching his eyes and moves to sit down in his chair, leaning back and folding his hands across the top of the bump. “Same thing your dad did.”

Chrissie snarls and storms across the room towards the door, she yanks it open and then pauses, looking over at him again as she tightens her hand around the door frame. 

“You’ll be hearing from my solicitor. Whilst our sham of a marriage might not have lasted long enough to divorce you just yet, a separation agreement will do until then. And believe me you won’t be getting a _penny_ out of me _or_ this company!”

The door slams behind her and rattles on his hinges. Robert sighs with a slump, stomach turning uncomfortably, and turns his chair back towards his desk, switching his laptop on with one hand and reaching for his coffee with the other.

*****

He goes back to Vic’s that night, reluctantly aware that he can’t wear his clothes again for another day.

She’s sat on the sofa watching TV when he walks in, mug curled in her hands and a sad expression on her face. He clears his throat as he stands in the doorway, and she turns to look at him with a half-hearted smile.

“I’m sorry,” he says quietly, lowering his eyes and staring at the back of the sofa resolutely. “I know I’ve been… _difficult_ these last few days, and I’ve taken a lot out on ya, but I _am_ grateful y’know? For putting me up, even when I know it’s got to be hard for you with Adam.”

Vic nods, sucking at her lower lip and she toys with a loose thread on one of the cushions. 

“I just want you to be happy Rob,” she says wearily, looking at him with her big brown eyes. “You’re my big brother and I just want the best for ya. And if that’s with Chrissie, _or_ Aaron, then I don’t care. Just, be honest with yourself okay? ‘Cause you won’t ever be happy until you are.”

He nods and glances up at her briefly, shuffling side to side on his feet and twisting his hands together in front of him, nerves making his antsy and queasy in the pit of his stomach.

“I meant what I said Vic, I’m – I’m not _gay_. I _like_ women.”

“And that’s totally fine.” She response, turning further on the sofa to sit on her knees, her almost facing him entirely over the back of the cushions. “But Aaron’s a _man_ Rob, he’s a bloke. So if you’re bisexual – ”

Robert rolls his eyes with a sigh and scrubs hard at his face; Vic ignores his reaction and carries on regardless.

“If you’re bisexual, that’s fine too.” She finishes with a small shrug, looking up at him with no hint of judgement or dishonesty on her face. Robert swallows and bites at his lip as he suddenly feels an overwhelming urge to spill all to his sister, her open face and kind, and the long bitter slog of the last few days wearing him down until all he wants to do is split open at the seams, pour out his guts and feelings until there’s nothing left of him but a crumpled shell.

“I – I didn’t mean for it to happen.” He chokes out, chin wobbling as he tries to keep his emotions under control. “I didn’t Vic, I swear. It just…”

He trails off and bites hard at his lip again. Vic smiles at him with sympathy and tilts her head to the side, her fingers still resting on the back of the sofa carefully.

“It meant somethin’ to you didn’t it?” She asks softly. “He still does.”

He scoffs instinctively, the sound a little broken and not as dismissive as he’d have liked. Vic raises an eyebrow and he tries to avoid her gaze, but fails miserably and finds himself crumbling under the weight of it.

“I’ve ruined it Vic,” he says wrecked, voice barely above a whisper as he rubs at his face. “He wants nothin’ to do with me, and I can’t – the baby needs him Vic, and I’ve ruined it for him before he’s even born.”

“Have you spoken to Aaron? About him seeing the baby?” Victoria questions gently; Robert shakes his head and sniffs once, sighing heavily. 

“No. But he can’t even look at me Vic.” He answers defeatedly, his arms hanging limply down by his sides and shoulders slumped. Vic sucks at her lower lip and nods her head once, before looking at him with determination.

“Talk to him,” she says, and she waves a hand when he tries to protest. “ _Talk to him_ Robert. Look I know Aaron can be stubborn and he might say he wants nothin’ to do with ya, but he doesn’t mean it, not really, and he _especially_ won’t about the baby. Aaron’s not that sort of bloke.”

Robert nods slowly, tentatively and Vic smiles at him pleased. He rubs at his mouth and exhales hard, feeling a first rush of relief and a smallish weight lifted from his shoulders. Victoria grins widen at whatever she sees on his face, and shifts a little on the sofa, patting a cushion next to her pointedly.

“Now. How about we watch that film aye? And Adam _still_ hasn’t eaten that bar of Galaxy, so I feel like it’s only right that we put it to good use. It’ll only go to waste otherwise.”

*****

It’d been a wakeup call, Lachlan ending up in hospital. A sign. A big, neon, flashing sign telling him to stop whatever it was he’d had going on with Aaron before it got too messy.

And to his credit he had tried. In the immediate aftermath at least. Had told Aaron in the entrance to the pub that it was over, that he’d been stupid to neglect his life, his _real_ life for someone like Aaron and called it off then and there. But then as Chrissie had continued to be mad with him, and he’d felt more and more pushed out and unnecessary, he’d found himself regretting his words to Aaron, had regretted breaking off something so fun and liberating; and so he’d found himself outside the garage early one morning, cold and shivering as he’d waited impatiently for Aaron to finally be left by himself.

“What do you want?” Aaron had muttered as Robert had approached him, freezing hands buried in his pockets as he’d ducked his head down into the neck of his jacket. He shrugged once and scuffed his shoe at the ground, waiting as Aaron had messed around inside a nearby engine.

“Lachlan’s alright, no real harm done,” he’d said with lightness to Aaron’s hunched back, twisting his hands in his pockets. “He’s back home today, just thought you’d like to know.”

Aaron had grunted and had glanced at him briefly over his shoulder, twisting the wrench in his hand harder than necessary. “And what? ‘Spose that makes it all fine yeah?”

Robert had shrugged again and had looked at Aaron with a raised brow, uncertain of how to respond to what seemed like an overly loaded question.

“Well, yeah.” He’d answered, stepping in a little closer and trying to catch Aaron’s eye. “He’s okay, he’s coming back home… what else is there?”

Aaron had chucked his wrench down onto the floor beside the car and had straightened up, wiping his hands with a scowl on a nearby oil rag. 

“You’re unbelievable, y’know that?” He’d muttered disapprovingly, shaking his head. “He’s ya stepson and he just overdosed and all you can think about is yourself! It’s all you care about, how anythin’ affects _you_ and getting what _you_ want and I’m sick of it.” 

He’d slammed down the bonnet of the car and had started to walk back inside, Robert had watched him with a clenched jaw, his eyes tight and trained to the slim fit of his overalls. He’d turned when it’d been clear Aaron wasn’t planning on coming back, and had started to make his way back down the driveway towards the village, shoulders hunched in rejection as he’d walked away.

“Y’know Robert.” Aaron’s voice had called as he’d made it as far as the flat of the road, and Robert had paused waiting for him to continue. “God help ya if you have kids of your own one day, because then you might have to _actually_ think and care about what happens to someone else.”

*****

Vic spends the next week or so wrapped up in her own little world of menu preparations and canape recipes. When Robert walks down the stairs on a Tuesday morning, he finds his sister cluttering up the kitchen table with stacks of hastily written papers and books open on various random pages. Lists of ingredients and instructions circled and crossed out in scribbled biro. He raises his brow and carefully makes his way in through the door, not wanting to disturb anything and get a scolding for it.

“Jesus Vic,” he says when he makes it to the kettle without incident and discovers more books piled up across the counter. “You do realise it’s a Dingle wedding right? Hardly the height of sophistication.” 

Vic sighs and looks up from her notes, resting her chin on her palm as she glares at him. 

“I just want to get it right is all!” She exclaims, pen tapping at the edge of the table. “It’s the first wedding I’ve done really, well apart from y’know...” She trails off, nodding at him awkwardly and gesturing absently. He stiffens a little at the mention but shakes it off quickly, forcing back the memories from that day with a hard shove.

“Besides, Debbie’s family. Kind of. And Pete is _Adam’s_ family, and I just want it to be nice for them.” She continues with a nod and a quick smile. Robert picks up the kettle from the stand and moves over towards the tap, filling it up and snapping down the lid.

“Look all I’m sayin’ is that the Dingles wouldn’t know the difference between haute cuisine and a pie from the chippy in Hotten. I wouldn’t stress yourself out about it too much.”

Vic sighs as if resigning herself to his way of thinking, and he turns around to lean back against the counter as the kettle boils away. He folds his arms across his chest and Vic closes the book in front of her gently.

“So. Speaking of the Dingles,” she says with false casualness. Robert groans under his breath and rolls his eyes. “Have you spoke to Aaron yet?”

“No.” He answers, and he sees Vic sigh with disappointment, her eyes judging him silently. “Look I’ve been busy, and I haven’t seen him about. It’s just how it is.”

“Robert.” Vic replies, her tone far too similar to the one their mother would use when he’d been up to no good with Andy as kids. “He’s been up at the scrapyard every day! You can’t have looked very far for him.” 

He scoffs and shakes his head, the thought of it being so easy as to just turn up at the scrapyard amusing him more than expected. “Oh yeah, ‘cause I can just show up there right? With guard dog Adam yapping away if I get too close.”

“Oi!” Vic scolds, pointing a finger at him and narrowing her eyes. “Enough about Adam alright? Look he’s Aaron’s best mate right and I know it’s _difficult_ between you both right now, but Adam understands about the baby, we all do. Just remember you’d not the only one dealing with that right now!"

Robert thins his mouth chastised and looks away from his sister, shuffling awkwardly on the spot. Caught up in his own _issues_ , he’d forgotten that Vic would soon have her own baby drama to deal with, Vanessa’s due date coming up fast. “Sorry,” he says quietly, looking at her with guilt. “I didn’t think.”

Vic rubs at her brow and slumps with a shrug. “It’s fine. I guess we’re _all_ just tryin’ to work things out at the moment. Do what’s best.”

He nods and turns slightly to grab the kettle when it clicks off, dragging his mug closer across the counter.

“I’ll talk to Aaron. Today,” he says quietly, pouring the water over the teabag carefully. “See if I can catch him at the scrapyard after I’m done with work.”

“Good.” Victoria smiles, standing up from the table and grabbing her jacket thrown over the back of her chair as he moves to grab the milk from the fridge. “Aaron won’t turn his back on his own son, Robert. He just won’t.” 

And with that she leaves, a quick ‘goodbye’ and ‘good luck’ tossed over her shoulder as she hurries off to work. Robert stands at the counter, slowly stirring the sugar into his tea and bites at his lip, feeling a mixture of nerves, and the first flash of positivity he has felt in weeks.

*****

Chrissie is like a hurricane in the office. The centre of a violent storm raging through and shredding everything to pieces. He knows it’s down to him, down to his prolonged presence alone, but he can’t make himself leave, not when it would just mean that they had _won_ , succeeded in taking him from the business he helped build.

So he maintains his spot at his desk day in and day out – despite the rage that Chrissie holds for him, like a smouldering flame ready to burn him to a crisp – and does his job as well as he can, so neither Chrissie or Lawrence can find more of a reason to throw him out and turn the board against him. It’s why he won’t just work from Vic’s. Why he won’t just slob over the sofa in his pyjama bottoms and ratty oversized shirt that fits him now a little too well around the middle; because if he does they’ll get the leads first, twist it so they can show the board that they don’t need him. It’s not worth the risk, and so at his desk he stays, turning a deaf ear to the scathing comments Chrissie fires at him multiple times per hour.

“Where is David Richardson’s folder?” She snaps loudly from across the room, the first words she’s said to him in half an hour. “It was in here yesterday, and I know you had it yesterday afternoon!”

Robert sighs, pausing his typing and rifles through the stack of paperwork in his tray. He finds the folder buried under a stack of new shoot contracts, and holds it out for Chrissie to snatch from his hand. 

She mutters angrily under her breath as she walks back to her desk, flicking through the papers, and he rolls his eyes behind her back, pulling a face at her as she sits down in the chair. He resumes typing his email when she glances up and over at him, and pointedly keeps his focus on the screen as he feels her eyes burning into the side of his head.

“Morning!” A voice says loud and overly cheery from the front door. Robert looks up and grunts in greeting as he sees the postwoman struggle inside with a large box. She smiles at them both and carefully places the box down on the nearest free desk, pulling out a scanner and pressing a few buttons on it before walking over to Chrissie.

“Just need a signature here.” She says brightly, and Chrissie takes the scanner from her with an overly friendly smile that doesn’t reach her eyes. Robert sees her sign her name with quick stabs and pass the scanner back to the woman, and ducks his head back down to continue his email.

Chrissie’s heels click on the floor, but he pays no mind, clicking through to his spreadsheet and scanning his eyes over the figure. He hears her make a noise of disgust, followed by the sound of her heels quickly stalking across the room. He jumps as the parcel is suddenly dumped down onto the desk beside him, and leans away to look up at his wife with a confused expression.

“This is for you.” She sneers, bitterness and anger poisoning her face as she glares at him. “Well actually it was meant to be for _our_ child, but seeing as how that was a _lie_ I want it out of my sight. Shame it isn’t as easy as getting rid of you!”

With that she stalks away and slams the interior door behind her. Robert sighs and slumps in his chair, rubbing a hand over his forehead as he eyes the box perched precariously on the edge. He feels a curl of guilt settle in his stomach and swallows, slamming the lid of his laptop down and pushing himself up from the desk.

He grabs his coat and decides to drive into the village, heading for the pub to have lunch despite it only being half 11. 

When he gets to The Woolpack, it’s Diane behind the bar and she smiles at him tentatively, it not quite reaching her eyes. He frowns, a bit puzzled, and glances around the room briefly, before his eyes land on the source of her discomfort with him.

Aaron is sat in the corner booth, tucking into a pie and chips with gusto as he flicks through what looks like a car magazine. He looks the same as always, dark hair styled carefully, a black hoodie zipped up over a black t-shirt, but the sight of him so unexpectedly makes Robert’s heart jolt in his chest, and his breath catch in the back of his throat.

His first instinct in to turn and walk away, get away from Diane’s prying eyes and avoid any stinging confrontation with Aaron – but then he remembers his words to Vic that morning, his promise to speak with him about the baby, and he sighs resignedly, forcing himself to walk over towards the table.

“Hi,” he says quietly, surprised to have reached Aaron’s side without the other man noticing his approach. Aaron looks up at him sharply, fork held aloft halfway to his mouth, and he scowls when he realises it’s him stood in front of him, his expression one of displeasure. 

“What d’ya want Robert.” Aaron grunts, shoving his forkful of chips into his mouth and looking away. Robert bites at his lip, and finds himself rubbing one hand soothingly at his stomach as he tries to build himself up to broaching the subject of the baby.

“Can I sit down?” It what he says instead, fully expecting Aaron to tell him, but instead all Aaron does is grunt again in irritation and nod his head almost imperceptibly. Robert blinks surprised, and take a seat opposite him before Aaron can change his mind. 

Aaron studiously avoids looking at him as he plays idly with his food, his eyes trained on an article in his magazine that Robert can clearly see he isn’t reading. Robert sighs wearily and clasps his hands together in front of him on the table, shifting uncomfortably on the wooden bench and taking a deep breath.

“I’m sorry,” he says with true regret. “About what I did and said when it all came out. I shouldn’t have just run off and left you at the hotel, and I shouldn’t have pushed you away.”

Aaron shrugs once, trying to affect an air of disinterest; but then his shoulders slump and he rubs one hand across the side of his face, dropping his knife and fork down onto his plate. 

“Yeah well ya did.” He answers coldly, his jaw tight as he finally meets Robert’s eyes. “And if you think ‘sorry’ is gonna make me come running back to ya then you’ve got me all wrong mate.”

He moves to stand then and Robert grabs for his arm on instinct, holding onto him tight so he can’t leave. Aaron frowns at his hand, and Robert can tell by the look on his face that he’s on thin ice, so he tugs once to grab Aaron’s attention and looks at him pleadingly. 

“Look I’m not asking for second chances or anything,” he says quickly and earnestly. “I just want to talk to you. About the baby.”

Aaron’s expression become a mix of emotions at that, irritation and anger giving away to a flash of concern in his eyes, and Robert feels relief when Aaron sits back down in his seat, immediately scanning his eyes over him carefully.

“Is the baby okay?” He asks, and Robert’s stomach flutters at the edge of worry in his voice.

“The baby’s fine, he’s great,” he says reassuringly, widening his eyes so Aaron can see it’s the truth. “I just… wanted to talk to you about seeing him. I want you to be involved. I mean if that’s what _you_ want obviously.”

Aaron nods his head and shifts in his seat. “Yeah, yeah of course I do.”

Robert smiles briefly at that and exhales softly, sitting forward as much as possible and resting his elbows on the table. 

“Good, that’s good.” He nods, licking at his lower lip. “So how – ”

Aaron’s phone vibrates loudly on the wood of the table, and Robert pauses half way through his sentence as Aaron glances at the screen and groans at the sight of Adam’s name. 

“Shit.” He mutters under his breath, stabbing at the end call button and pocketing his phone quickly. “I’ve gotta go, Adam said he’d call me if the boiler bloke showed up early.”

“Oh,” Robert answers, blinking a little as Aaron stands and necks the remainder of his pint. “I’ll er, call you then? So we can meet up and talk about y’know, custody or whatever.”

Aaron pauses for a second as if realising for the first time that this is something they would need to discuss. He nods though, and says a quick ‘goodbye’ before heading for the doors and outside; Robert slumps back on the bench and presses a hand over his belly as he looks aimlessly at the wall opposite.

“Did everything go okay pet?” Diane’s voice asks from beside him, her tone uncertain as she picks up Aaron’s empty pint glass and half-finished dinner. Robert bites at the corner of his lip and feels a tiny smile twitch at the side of his mouth that he tries to hold back; he glances up at her and shrugs one shoulder.

“Yeah. I think it went alright, yeah.”

*****

When he leaves The Woolpack to head back to the office for the afternoon he bumps into Rakesh at the door. Rakesh nods his head amicably and moves to walk past him, but Robert places a hand up and halts him in place, memories of Chrissie’s scornful face from the morning popping into his head as he looks the man up and down.

“Er Rakesh.” He starts casually, raising his chin and dropping his hand back down by his side as Rakesh looks at him with a frown. “Just the man I was lookin’ for. I need some legal advice. Chrissie is threatening to put in place a separation agreement, one that would see me out of the business and out of any form of income. Obviously, with the baby on the way, I’d like to stop that.”

Rakesh nods his head, features relaxing as he clearly spots a business opportunity. “That’s understandable. We could schedule an appointment for later if you’d like? Get something down on paper before she can put an agreement in place with her lawyer.”

Robert smiles satisfied and holds his hand out for Rakesh to shake firmly, the faint thrum of victory settling in his bones. Rakesh nods once in acknowledgement as he heads inside the pub, and Robert grins to himself as he makes his way back to the car.

*****

When he and Chrissie had gotten engaged Lawrence had been smoking at the ears.

He’d asked for a private word with Chrissie, his face stony and cold, and she’d followed him with a soft smile back at Robert down towards the study, where Lawrence had shut the door with more force than needed.

He’d managed to keep away for a bit, had managed to keep his curiosity at bay and under control for a while, that is until he’d heard Lawrence’s voice raise significantly and he hadn’t been able to help himself rushing down the hallway to listen in.

“He’s not to be trusted Chrissie!” Lawrence had exclaimed, his voice only slightly muffled by the heavy wood of the door. “He manipulates people for a living! How can you believe a word that comes out of that man’s mouth!”

“Because I know him dad!” Chrissie had answered back, a hint of exasperation in her tone that had had him listening in even closer. “I know him better than anyone and I _trust_ him! Yes, he can be ruthless and callous when it comes to work, but that is why you hired him remember? And he is _never_ like that with me, he’s nothing but the perfect omega. Kind, and generous, and sweet.”

He’d bitten his lip at that, smile fighting to break out across his face as he’d heard Chrissie defend him so strongly to her father, the one man above all else who she’d always pick over him. He’d heard Lawrence growl in frustration and he’d smirked at the sound, quite clear that Lawrence was quickly realising he wasn’t about to get his own way.

“If you must insist with going through with this, then I would strongly suggest you sign a pre-nuptial agreement.” Lawrence had muttered, so lowly that he’d almost struggled to make out the words. He’d frowned at that, irritated that Lawrence would think it necessary, that he and Chrissie would ever end up in a situation where such an agreement would be needed. He’d leant in closer to the door then, eager to hear Chrissie’s response, his ear all but pressed up tight against the cool wood.

“That’s completely unnecessary!” Chrissie had replied, with a hint of offence at the suggestion that had Robert relaxing. “Robert isn’t like Donnie. He works hard and you damn well know he does!”

Lawrence had mumbled something then, inaudible through the door, and he’d heard brief footsteps before they stopped.

“I love him dad,” Chrissie’s voice had said softly, warmth and happiness seeping through it with every word, and Robert had felt himself begin to smile. “I love him and he loves me, and that’s all that really matters. Not money or possessions, just how we feel about one another, and the sooner you see that too, the better things will be. For _all_ of us.”

The footsteps had continued then, and Robert had quickly hurried back down the corridor to take his seat once again on the sofa by the fire. Chrissie had joined him not 2 minutes later and she’d curled up beside him, her head resting on his shoulder.

“Everything alright?” He’d asked, treading one hand loosely through the back of her hair. She’d hummed contently in response and had settled in against his chest.

“Yes fine.” She’s murmured, her left hand pressing lightly against his ribs, the diamond on her finger sparkling bright in the soft glow of the fire. “I love you, you know? No matter what anyone says.”

And he’d nodded, tightening his fingers in her hair and pressing a kiss to the top of her head, holding her close as she’d drifted in and out of sleep.

*****

Chrissie rounds on him as soon as he enters the office, piece of paper clutched in her hand and teeth bared.

“Get _out_!” She yells at the sight of him, cheeks flushed and eyes burning. “If you think I’m going to let you anywhere near this house, when you have the audacity to think _this_ is a suitable reward for what you’ve _done_ , then you’re more delusional that I ever thought!”

Robert settles when he realises what it is that has got her so irate, the logo of Rakesh’s law firm at the header of the letter. He’d approved the demands on the agreement the day before, after Rakesh had called him to say that the document was drawn up, he just hadn’t expected Chrissie to have received it so soon. 

“I think it’s only fair,” he says in response without hesitation, straightening his shoulders and squaring up to her. “I’ve put _a lot_ into this business, more than what I’m asking for there. And I’ve got to think about my son, I need to be able to provide for him and if you’re serious about removing me from the business, then I’ll need some compensation.”

Chrissie scoffs furious, her face twisted in a disbelieving snarl.

“You are unbelievable.” She spits, voice low and enraged and enough to make Robert swallow with a flash of nerves. “You cheat on me over and over for _our entire marriage_ , and now you have the gall to use your lovechild with the village piece of rough as an excuse to extort money from me?!”

He clenches his jaw tight and his nostrils flare, raising his chin high as his pulse pound hard in the base of his throat. “It’s what I’m owed.”

Chrissie shakes her head, vicious smile on her face, and she holds up the piece of paper in front of her. She rips it harsh down the centre, and then shreds it over and over into increasingly small pieces, before throwing the lot at him and down onto the floor.

“Get. Out.” She sneers, stabbing her finger towards the door behind him as her jawline trembles, a wild mixture of emotions fighting with one another on her face. He considers telling her no, standing his ground and making her force him to leave, but then he sees the tears begin to shine in the corners of her eyes and he backs away, ducks his head down and then turns towards the door. 

He leaves without a word and closes the door quietly behind him.

*****

He finds himself up at the scrapyard for lack of a better place to go. Adam and Aaron are both out at the wedding, and so the portacabin is deserted. Vic had tried to persuade him to go too at breakfast, had needled at him while she’d put the last touches on the wedding cake, but he’d declined vehemently, not wanting to throw himself into the lion’s den of a Dingle wedding after how he’d treated Aaron.

So he sits at Aaron’s empty desk, laptop open in front of him as he works his way through his emails. The electric heater buzzes in the background by his feet, and his rhythmic tapping of the laptop keys breaks up the quiet. It’s because of this stillness, this low-level volume, that his ears pick up immediately on the sound of car tyres on gravel outside in the yard, the gentle thump of a car door closing shut. He pauses in his typing and turns his head towards the door, waiting with curiosity as he hears footsteps on the metal stairs.

When the door opens, he sighs and frowns, leaning back in Aaron’s chair tiredly. Chrissie steps in through the doorway, her heeled boots muffled on the worn down carpet tiles, and she looks at him with a flat expression, her mouth pulled thin into a tight line.

“Chrissie,” he says, raising his brow and looking at her with widened eyes. “What a surprise.”

Chrissie hums and slowly walks further into the portacabin, her gaze scanning over the place with a low level of disgust. “So, this is the lovenest is it?” She drawls, folding her arms across her chest and turning back to look at him. “The business you bought for your boyfriend, just so you could sleep with him behind my back?”

Robert’s teeth clench together and he shifts in his seat, legs flexing under the table as he rubs at the side of his face. “It wasn’t like that.”

Chrissie raises an eyebrow mockingly and nods her head, shrugging one shoulder as she looks around the office once more. 

“Oh really?” She mocks, her tone borderline scathing as she pouts her lips. “Well that’s not what it looks like. No what _I_ see is some shabby shed for your dirty little affair. Tell me Robert, how many times did Aaron have you over that desk? How many times did he have you on the floor?”

He pushes himself up from his chair and stares her down, the bitter smirk on her face putting him on edge and making his nostrils flare. “What do you want Chrissie?”

She uncrosses her arms and rounds on him, he eyes blazing with anger as she steps in closer. “I want to know _why_ Robert! Why you _did this_! Why you’ve ripped my life apart, and why you now can’t just _leave me alone_?!”

“Do you think I meant any of this to happen?!” He snaps back, moving in closer and scowling as weeks of arguments and apologies and scathing, bitter words towards him, build up and burst inside of him. “Do you _really_ think this is what I wanted?!”

“ _I don’t know_!” Chrissie yells, her face flushing from the tips of her ears to the base of her neck at the force of it. Tears shining brightly in her eyes as she stares at him from the other side of the desk. “I don’t _know_ Robert, because I don’t even know who you _are_ anymore?! You’re a _liar_ and a _cheat_ and I can’t even _recognise_ the man I married!”

She breathes hard, her chest heaving as she pulls back, wiping at her eyes and trying to hold back her tears. Robert looks away from her and swallows, mouth suddenly dry and jawline tense. Guilt slithers around deep in his belly again, writhing and sickly, and he closes his eyes when he hears her sniff, breathing shaky as she tried to compose herself.

“Did you ever love me?” She asks brokenly, and he winces at the sound. “Or was it always about my money? Was that the only thing you loved?”

“No,” he says, opening his eyes again and lifting his head. He does his best to convey with his eyes that he’s telling the truth, that it was never about the money, but whatever she sees has her face crumpling, a sob stifled against the back of her hand as she rushes for the door and out into the yard.

“Chrissie!” He shouts, chasing after her as she all but runs down the stairs and across towards his car. He follows her with haste until he sees her grab for a nearby petrol cans from one of the outside shelving units, and halts abruptly, as she turns back towards his car and begins unscrewing the lid.

“Chrissie.” He tries again, more careful and calm as he holds his hands up, staring at her wide eyed as she wipes at her face with the sleeve of her jacket, opened petrol can still clutched in her hand. “Just put it back, you don’t know what you’re doing!”

Chrissie scoffs and grins at him on the edge of manic, her cheeks wet and eyes wild as she steps closer to the car and starts to throw the petrol over the roof.

“Oh I know _exactly_ what I’m doing!” She shouts, the splish splash, and smell of the petrol overpowering as she soaks the car. “Seeing as you just _love_ money so much, I thought I’d see just what you’d do when a whole heap of it goes up in flames!”

She drops the petrol can down by her feet and takes a step back. He watches in horror as she reaches into her pocket and pulls out a lighter, her thumb flicking at the wheel twice until it lights up, the small flame a tiny flicker from so far away. Robert feels sheer terror flood his veins as she grins, and he steps back towards the portacabin, hand pressed against where he can feel the baby moving in sharp twists and turns, obviously sensing his panic.

“Say goodbye Robert!” Chrissie grins, before she throws the lighter at the car, the petrol immediately igniting and the car erupting in a roar of flames. Robert stumbles back, breathing heavy, and stares at her open mouthed as she laughs, the tears still streaming down her face.

“Chrissie what have you _done_?!” He yells hysterically, fear making his heart pound in his chest in a way he hasn’t known since he’d last felt the heat of naked flames against his skin. The screams of his mother from the barn, a horrifying sound track to the crackle and dance of the fire tearing through the walls. 

“Are you _upset_ yet Robert?! Does it _hurt_?!” She cries, spreading her arms wide and stepping away from the inferno. Robert shakes his head in disbelief and turns away, grabbing the fire extinguisher from just inside the door. He heaves it up awkwardly, trying to clutch it against his body around the baby bump as he pulls at the pin with yank. He pants, his grip shaky on the extinguisher as he moves to step forward, when all of a sudden there is a loud explosion from one of the gas canisters and he falls back from the force of it against the wall of the portacabin.

“Chrissie!” He all but screams as he sees her go flying backwards onto the floor. He makes to move towards her and check that she’s okay, when the sound of a second loud explosion overhead has him ducking and dropping the extinguisher reflexively. He looks up, trying to find the source of the sound, and stars in horror at the sight of a helicopter falling down from the sky and heading straight for the village in the distance. 

“Oh my God!” He gasps, both hands still pressed against his stomach as he remains hunched over, his gaze unblinking at the tumbling ball of metal and fire as it plummets down faster and faster, gaining speed with every second that passes. He realises where it’s about to crash before it reaches its final destination, and his stomach all but falls into his shoes when it hits with an almighty blast. 

The roof of the village hall, where his sister and brother, niece and nephew, step-mother, and father of his child are all gathered inside, is swallowed _completely_ in a rapidly darkening cloud of smoke and flame. And he can do _nothing_ except stand there and watch it burn.


	3. Chapter 3

The fire had been the only thing he could see, a raging orange blaze against the inky black of the night sky. It’d burnt bright and fierce and there had been no other option than to run towards it, to where his father was dragging Richie away from the doors and shouting at him about Sarah.

There’d been screaming, his mother’s sobbing audible even through the crackle of the flames and creaking of the burning beams. His dad had tried to reach her, had yelled her name as he’d attempted to get through to her through the collapsing doors, but he’d been left choking on the thick smoke pouring from the building, ash and soot covering his clothes. His mum’s screams had been getting thinner and weaker as time had gone on, the fire hot against his skin even from where he was stood frozen, staring wide eyed and terrified at the scene. 

Jack had then suddenly shouted and had rushed towards them from the barn, his arms outstretched as he’d shoved him and Andy away, them all but stumbling as a roar of an explosion had filled the air, a blast of heat and flame erupting from the building and burning up the sky. He’d gasped, half winded, and had felt his heart rip in two, the pain cutting him deep and leaving him trembling as he’d looked over his father’s shoulder at the smouldering, charred remains of what once was the barn. 

His mother’s screams were not audible anymore.

*****

He feels sick.

It’s like he can’t breathe, 2 fists wrapped tight around each lung and _squeezing_ until all he can do it gasp and choke. He can hear the blaze of the fire still burning behind him, can hear Chrissie’s broken sobs; but all he can do is stare in shock at the destruction in front of him, yellow and orange flame lighting up the sky in amongst the curling black.

“Robert!” Chrissie cries, the sound ripped violently from her throat as she tries to grab his attention. He blinks dazed, his eyes dry and blurry and he takes a step back, his foot knocking into something and drawing his gaze down. 

The fire extinguisher lays on its side on the gravel and he reaches for it with difficulty, his fingers slipping on the cold red metal. He puts the fire out, he isn’t too sure how, his heart still banging in his chest and breathing all but short gasps as the heat begins to die away. His scorched car is all that remains, a smouldering shell of twisted steel and blown out glass, and he stumbles away from it, sweating as he drops the extinguisher again. 

“Robert.” Chrissie tries again, nothing more than a whimper, and he looks over at her. She’s red faced and tearstained, soot smeared down one cheek as she presses a hand to her mouth. She’s curled in on herself, an arm wrapped around her waist, and she looks _broken_ , absolutely wrecked as she stares at him. 

“Robert, please – ”

He hears the sound of sirens faintly, and his head snaps away back towards the village to look at the still burning wreckage of the hall. His pulse begins to race again, anxiety kicking in hard, and he finds himself backing away wide eyed, his shoes crunching loudly on the ground as he presses his hand to his stomach. 

He hears Chrissie try to call his name yet again, sounding more desperate with each try, and he turns and breaks out into a run, heads straight out of the yard and out onto the road without looking back. 

His body protests with every step, his back crying out and legs burning as he runs towards the village as fast as he can. He’s panting, heart thumping hard in his chest by the time he sees the outskirts, all but holding onto his belly as his hips scream at him in pain; but he doesn’t stop, doesn’t even think of slowing down, not until he sees Victoria stood in the middle of the street, her pale blue dress torn and blackened with ash.

“Vic!” He yells, tears springing uncontrollably to his eyes at the sight of his sister. She turns to look at him, shock written all over her face, and he rushes for her, wrapping her up tight in his arms.

“Are you alright?! Jesus Vic are you okay?!”

She nods against his shoulder and he feels her clutch tight at the back of his coat. He buries his nose in the crown of her hair and breathes her in with a sigh, smelling her familiar light floral scent under the smoke and sting of fire. He sees Andy over her head when he opens his eyes again, stood off to the side and looking at them both, his suit jacket ripped on the sleeves. 

“I’m okay,” Vic says quietly, pulling back a little and wiping at her eyes. “Sarah and Jack are fine too, but we don’t know where Diane is! Andy last saw her with Val about an hour ago but nobody’s seen her since!”

“She’ll be alright.” He answers soothingly, trying to keep his voice calm even when his stomach sinks in dread. “It’s Diane in’t it? Nothin’ gets to her.”

Vic nods and she wipes again at her face. Robert swallows and looks down the street at the mass of people gathered around the hall, streams of firefighters and paramedics and police running about attending to people. Suddenly there’s a loud scream and Robert turns his head sharply to the source of it, feeling his chest tighten when he sees Moira struggling against 2 police officers and trying to run through the barricade. Beside her he spots Chas, ashen faced and dead eyed, and his heart stops in his chest.

“Where’s Aaron?” He chokes out, glancing around quickly through the rest of the crowds but not spotting him, not even beside Adam who is now also trying to pull his mother back. “Vic where is he?!”

“He’s still inside.” Vic replies tearfully, and Robert feels himself crumple as if punched in the stomach. “He was stood under where the beams came through.”

He shakes his head and steps forward instinctively, eyes trained on the smoking remains of the Village Hall entrance. “No. No, he’s not, he’s… _no_.”

“Robert don’t! _Please_!” Vic calls upset and desperate from behind him. He ignores her and all but runs down to the hall, almost reaching the edge of the group when he feels strong arms wrap around him and pull him back. He struggles briefly, trying to squirm away, but slumps defeated as tears well up in his eyes.

“You got a death wish or summat?!” Andy snaps close to his ear. “You can’t just go runnin’ in there Rob are ya mad?!”

He breathes hard and stares unblinkingly at the entrance to the hall, ignores Andy’s question but remains rooted to the spot. Smoke continues to billow out, the odd flicker of flame licking at the walls, and suddenly all he can see is the raging inferno of the barn, his dad trying desperately to get to his mum but failing, him standing there not able to help, not able to do _anything_ as his mum had died in the most horrific way – 

“ _Aaron_!” Chas’ scream cuts through the air like a knife, and he blinks widely, snapping out of his head and all but gasping for breath. He sees Chas break free of the police and run towards the building, arms outstretched and reaching as Aaron appears through the smoke. He feels his entire body sag in relief at the sight of him, before he notes the blood covering one side of his head and running down onto his suit jacket, staining the blue a dark brown, and he feels the panic well up inside of him all over again. Chas clutches at Aaron desperately and Robert sees him slump against her, blood getting all over the front of her dress.

He feels Andy’s grasp relax on him and he pulls away, stepping forward without conscious thought as Chas passes Aaron off to a paramedic and the woman guides him into the back of an ambulance, checking him quickly. He watches heart in his mouth as Chas joins him inside and the sirens switch on almost immediately as the doors close, the ambulance pulling away from the scene at speed. 

“I – I need to go. I need to go,” he says distracted, watching as the flashing lights disappear out of the village. He turns sharply and rubs at his face, hands trembling as he shifts impatiently on the spot and looks at Andy. “Give me your keys.”

Andy scowls at him and shakes his head. “You really think you’re in any state to be drivin’ right now? Besides, where’s your car anyway?”

He groans in frustration and presses his hand hard against his forehead. “Just give me the fucking _keys_ Andy!”

“Do you think this is a good idea?” Victoria asks pleadingly, stepping closer to him and touching his arm gently. “You know what Chas is like!”

He shrugs away from her touch and turns to her with narrowed eyes, becoming increasingly anxious and irritated at them both trying to stop him. “He’s my baby’s dad Vic!” He snaps, anger beginning to seep into his voice. “I need to know he’s alright and I can’t do that standin’ about here!”

“Fine!” Andy sighs annoyed, gesturing with his arms widely. “But I’ll take ya alright. Can you stay with the kids, Vic?”

Vic nods, her expression pinched as she looks at Robert with concern. He avoids her eyes and follows Andy away from the crowd and up to Keeper’s Cottage.

“I’ll call you, when I find Diane!” Vic shouts, and Robert pauses turning to look at her. He swallows heavily and nods his head, Vic tries to smile in return but it wobbles unsettled and he turns away, a crush of guilt squeezing at his chest.

*****

He’d not noticed them the first time, the first time too hurried and frantic in the back of the car, but in the dim light of Aaron’s bedroom they’d been all too obvious, small raised ridges scored all across the flesh of his stomach.

He’d not mentioned it at first, had just pressed Aaron down into the bed and slid over his hips, Aaron’s cock nudging hot and heavy against his inner thigh. He’d ridden him hard, had pressed his palms firmly across the span of Aaron’s abdomen and had tried to ignore the feeling of the lines against his fingertips; but they’d still been there in the back of his mind, thin scars marring the soft flesh, and he’d closed his eyes focusing on the feeling of Aaron’s cock brushing over and over against his prostate. 

Afterwards they’d lay side by side in bed, Robert sprawled languid and spent in the tangle of sheets, his heart still banging against his chest as the endorphins had coursed through his veins. Eventually he’d felt Aaron stir beside him, the mattress dipping to one side, and he’d rolled his head on the pillow to run his eyes up and down Aaron’s naked body, him now stood beside the bed and tossing the used condom into the bin, wiping himself off with a tissue. 

“So,” he’d said tentatively, although he’d felt the soft smirk beginning to form on his mouth. “So much for a ‘one off’ aye?”

Aaron had rolled his eyes and tossed the tissue down into the bin also, bending over to pick up his boxers and slip them back on. Robert had felt a small amount of disappointment at that, and had pouted a little as he’d scanned his gaze around the room, taking in all the things he’d not noticed whilst otherwise engaged. 

Aaron’s room was much like Aaron himself, it’d been dark with black patterned paper on the walls, the odd poster of a sportscar the only bit of real colour in the room. He was messy in that young, single bloke kind of way, clothes strewn across the floor and the odd used mug and plate scattered on random surfaces. There were a few personal items, bits and pieces collected from various places, Ibiza and Paris being the main ones, but the thing that had caught Robert’s eye the most was a photo pinned up on a sparse cork board. 

A young man had smiled out of it, his eyes a little hazy and his warm brown, curly hair dishevelled in a way that could only have been caused by fingers. The man was drunk obviously, the look on his face giving it away even if the half-drunk pint in his hand hadn’t, but it was the look in his eyes, the softness there aimed at whoever it was behind the camera, that had caused the unsettled feeling to sit in the pit of Robert’s stomach.

“Should I be worried?” Robert had joked instead, shoving the irrational feeling away and pushing himself up against the pillows. Aaron had paused, t-shirt now back in place along with his boxers, and had frowned back at him in confusion.

“You what?”

“Should I be worried.” Robert had repeated, nodding pointedly towards the photo. “Not gonna have some bloke come after my balls in the next few days for fuckin’ his boyfriend am I?”

Aaron’s face had grown stony at that and he’d half turned away again, grabbing for a pair of worn cotton, tracksuit bottoms. 

“No.” He’d snapped bluntly, and Robert’s brow had furrowed in confusion at the sudden harshness to his tone. 

“Aaron – ”

“You done here now?” Aaron had cut him off, turning sharply back towards him on the bed and straightening out his shoulders. His jaw set hard as he’d stared down at Robert with cold eyes. “You got what you wanted so do one, this was a mistake.” 

Robert had scowled, bewildered, but had pushed himself from the bed and had dressed hastily, slamming the door to Aaron’s room behind him hard as he’d left.

The next day when he’d seen Vic, he’d jogged up beside her, had asked her how Finn was after the disaster in the pub the night before as a way of gently nudging her in the direction of spilling about Aaron’s lovelife. She’d sighed, a mixture between annoyance and disappointment, and had sung just like he’d known she would.

“I just don’t get it, Finn would be so good for Aaron!” She’d burst out, gesturing wildly with her hands. “And Aaron deserves someone who’d love him like Finn would. I mean Ed seemed like a nice enough bloke, can’t say that I knew much about him, but after what happened with Jackson, well Aaron should have some proper happiness.”

Robert had found himself scoffing before he’d been able to stop himself and Vic had frowned at him, her arms coming to fold across her waist.

“What? You think it’s funny?”

He’d cleared his throat and had shaken his head, holding back on the sarcastic laugh that was threatening to burst out at the thought of Finn and _Aaron_. Finn wouldn’t have known what to do with a bloke like Aaron, would have been way out of his depth.

“Look all I’m sayin’ is that Finn is nice,” he’d said amicably, wording his response carefully as Vic has continued to scowl. “He’s a nice guy, and that’s perfectly fine. But if you think a bloke like Aaron is lookin’ for ‘ _nice_ ’ well, I’m afraid you’d be wrong Vic.”

“And how would you know?” Vic had pushed back, raising an eyebrow and pursing her lips expectantly. Robert had sighed and looked at his sister with a sympathetic expression.

“Because I’m a bloke Vic, and gay, straight, or whatever, bloke’s minds work the same no matter what.” He’d grinned back as Vic had rolled her eyes. “And _trust me_ , Finn and Aaron? Ain’t gonna happen.”

Vic had muttered under her breath, shaking her head as she turned to continue on her way down to the shop. Robert had sworn to himself, irritated at himself for becoming distracted with Finn when what he’d really wanted to know was who the man in the photo was. He’d called out for Vic before she could walk too far for it to be suspicious, and she’d glanced back over her shoulder with a raised eyebrow.

“You mentioned a Jackson, who’s he?” He’d asked, burying his hands in his coat pockets and trying to appear nonchalant. Vic’s expression had fallen at his question though, and he’d found his brow furrowing in confusion at what could be so bad to prompt such a reaction from his sister.

“Jackson was Aaron’s first boyfriend,” she’d said softly, her head tilted slightly to one side. “He was in an accident and ended up paralysed. He asked Aaron to help him die, and well, Aaron did what he asked. That’s why I said Aaron deserves some happiness.”

She’d smiled sadly at that and then had turned to continue on her way. Robert had stood there stunned in the middle of the street, a sinking feeling in his chest as he’d tried to process his sister’s words. Eventually he’d made it back to Home Farm, feeling as if on autopilot, and when Chrissie had questioned what was wrong, a worried look on her face as she’d reached out for him, he’d shaken her off and told her he’d got a headache, shutting himself away in their room and trying to lock down the painful ache in his chest.

*****

He all but runs from the car when they arrive at the hospital, not giving Andy a second thought as he bolts for the A&E entrance.

It’s rammed as expected, people slumped in almost every available chair and children crying in frustration at being kept waiting for so long. He ignores the commotion though and stalks straight through the waiting room, heading over to the reception desk and past a middle-aged woman with a broken arm, badly wrapped in a scarf acting as a sling. She scowls at him as he brushes past her, but he doesn’t care, only focused on one thing.

“I’m looking for an Aaron Livsey,” he says half breathless, pressing both of his palms hard into the counter. “He’s been in an accident, a fire, an ambulance brought him in.”

The woman behind the desk nods and she clicks at a couple of things on her computer, looking down her nose through her glasses. “And are you a relative of Mr Livsey’s?”

He shifts impatiently on his feet and he can already feel the irritation at what he knows is about to happen.

“Well no, but – ”

“I’m afraid we’re only able to give out information to relative’s, sir.” She cuts him off, her tone flat and robotic as if on autopilot, quite obviously a sentence she repeats on a frequent basis. Robert sighs and rubs a hand roughly through his hair, straightening his shoulders to protest as the woman eyes him as if waiting for him to leave.

“Look, he’s – ” He pauses, swallowing a little as the reflexive fear of outing himself floods through him, irrational and nervous. He pushes it back though, shoves it down with all the strength he has, in the knowledge that this might be the only way to get what he wants, might be his only way of getting to see Aaron. “He’s… my kid’s father alright? We’re not together but he’s my baby’s dad and I _need_ to know he’s okay.”

The woman blinks at him, her eyes distorted behind her glasses, but he notes her glance down at the bump visible between the sides of his open coat. She sighs, shoulders slumping a little, and Robert holds back on a victorious smile.

“He’s been taken down to the minor injuries unit,” she says carefully, looking at him with a raised eyebrow. “If you take the door on the right and follow the signs it’ll take you there.”

He nods and smiles at her briefly, before rushing away and heading for the door. He follows the corridor around and out into another waiting room, significantly less busy than the last, and halts when he spots Chas pacing slightly by the door opposite. 

She doesn’t see him to begin with, her facing away from him and towards the wall, but as she turns around to walk back on herself she looks up and stops immediately, a frown pulling at her brow. “What are _you_ doin’ here?!”

He steps further into the room and holds his hands down and open by his sides. He sees an elderly couple sat in the corner pause their conversation and look between the both of them with interest, blatant in their quest for a story to natter away about later to their friends and family. 

“Look I just came to see if he’s alright Chas.” He answers calmly, even though he can still feel the edge of anxiety still biting at him, unrelenting until he can actually lay his eyes on Aaron for himself. “That’s all.”

Chas scoffs and shakes her head, folding her arms across her chest; her dress is darkened with the blood of her son along one shoulder and arm, and Robert feels queasy at the sight of it. “Oh really? Well he’s fine, just a scratch, so you can go now.”

“I’m not goin’ anywhere until I’ve seen that for myself,” he says lowly, stepping forward and standing his ground, very much aware of not wanting to cause a scene in front of the couple eagerly waiting for it to kick off. “Like it or not Chas, Aaron is always going to be a part of my life now, and I need to know he’s alright for _our_ son.”

The door behind Chas swings open as she makes to protest, her face twitching as she makes to step forward and argue. They both turn at the sound and Robert slumps in alleviation as Aaron walks through, all fight draining from his body at the sight of him.

“Oh Aaron, my baby!” Chas exclaims and rushes him, pulling him close and clutching him tight. He sees Aaron wince over her shoulder, and watches as he tries to ease her away with gentle hands.

“I’m alright mum,” he says with a roll of his eyes, sighing as Chas steps back and wipes at her eyes. “Got the cut on my arm and bashed my head up a bit, but I’m fine.” 

Chas sniffs, and reaches to gently ghost her fingers over the gauze taped on the side of Aaron’s forehead, Robert can see her hands visibly shaking even from his position.

“Are you _sure_ , because there was so much _blood_ – ”

“Honest.” Aaron cuts her off, flashing her a very brief smile. “Nurse said head wounds bleed a lot but she stitched it up, said I might have a bit of concussion but apart from that I’m alright.” 

Chas nods and pulls back, wiping again at her face. Aaron touches her arm reassuringly, before he looks up and his eyes widen as he finally notices Robert for the first time.

“Robert,” he says puzzled, brows drawn together. He moves away from his mother and takes a step closer, a completely baffled expression on his face. “What you doin’ here?”

Robert feels himself begin to tremble under his skin, the adrenaline beginning to wear off at the sight of Aaron seemingly okay and leaving him tired and drained. 

“I just – I needed to know you were alright.” He chokes out, his eyes beginning to water again in sheer relief and exhaustion despite the residual panic making him jittery. “I saw you. When you came out and there was all that blood – ”

He feels a sharp pain between his hips and he cuts himself off with a keening inhale, instinctively pressing a hand to his stomach as he curls over around it. He hears Aaron say his name alarmed, and feels hands gentle on his shoulders as he’s steered towards one of the vacant seats.

“Rob!” Aaron repeats, sitting down close beside him. “What’s wrong? What’s happenin’?”

He breathes shakily and keeps his hand pressed tight against his belly, the pain beginning to recede as he looks over at Aaron, trying to calm the worried look on his face.

“I’m fine, just a twinge yeah?” He says, attempting to steady his breathing and showing Aaron a weak smile that Aaron frowns at. “Nothin’ to worry about.”

Aaron shakes his head and shifts in closer, his hand still warm and present along the span of Robert’s shoulders. “Yeah and last time you had pains like that you ended up in hospital _bleedin’_.”

“I’ll get a nurse,” Chas suddenly says loudly, and Robert looks up at her having forgotten about her presence entirely. He sees a look of concern on her face briefly, before she turns away and hurries out through the nearest door. Robert swallows heavily and turns back at Aaron, trying to be reassuring even though he can feel dread begin to settle in his chest at the memory. 

“The pain’s gone already,” he says softly, rubbing one hand in comforting circles over his stomach as he shifts in his seat to turn in further towards Aaron, their knees pressing together lightly. “It’s alright, it’s not like last time.”

Aaron looks back at him unconvinced, but Robert feels him relax a little, the tension easing from his hand against his back. Robert sighs and raises his free hand to rub at his face, his emotions beginning to swirl again as he notices the blood staining Aaron’s sleeve, his suit jacket ruined and long gone, and leaving him only in his ripped, white dress shirt.

“I was so scared.” He murmurs, looking between Aaron’s eyes and feeling himself begin to shake again. “You were in there and there was _nothin’_ I could do – ”

Aaron halts him off with a shake of his head and presses in closer, their thighs pushed together tight. “But I’m alright yeah? No harm done. Well not really anyway.”

Robert nods and sniffs, exhaling hard through his lips and feeling comforted somewhat by Aaron being so close and the baby stirring slowly under his palm. He smiles at Aaron as best as he can, despite knowing that it won’t reach his eyes.

“I know, I know”, he says, rubbing again at his mouth and sighing. “I just don’t know what I’d’ve done… the baby needs his dad and I can’t – I don’t – ”

“Mr Sugden?” A woman’s voice calls, and they both turn in the direction of it. “Mr Sugden I’m one of the midwives on the obstetrics unit, Ms Dingle’s said that you’ve been experiencing some pain is that correct?”

He nods but also waves his hand dismissively, trying to dissuade the midwife from taking him for tests. “I have, but I’m alright, was just a twinge y’know? Nothing serious.”

The midwife purses her lips and loosely folds her arms around her waist, her blue scrubs creasing under the movement. “In any case, I think it might be worth just checking you over. Ms Dingle also mentioned something about previous bleeding? We wouldn’t want to overlook anything that may cause any issue.”

He sighs resigned and nods his head. He carefully pushes himself up from the chair, Aaron’s hand still gently touching his lower back, and follows the midwife when she gestures him forward.

“This is ridiculous.” He mutters to Aaron as they walk down the corridor, the midwife leading the way and Chas trailing behind them. “There’s nothin’ wrong, I mean I’ve not even had any other pain.”

Aaron hums and glances at him from the corner of his eye. 

“Better to be sure though yeah?” He says quietly, shoving his hands into his trouser pockets. Robert swallows and nods imperceptibly, biting at his lip.

The midwife nods him through into one of the exam rooms and Robert looks at Aaron with widened eyes. Aaron thankfully gets the message and follows him inside after a quick word to Chas. He feels Aaron’s fingertips gently brush against his arm as they walk through the door, and it settles him as he takes a seat in the plastic chair as instructed.

*****

He gets the all clear, the midwife proclaiming stress the cause, and she tells him to take it easy for the next few days.

When they step back out of the room Chas is no longer there. Aaron checks his phone, the screen now cracked through the middle, and sees a text from her saying that Debbie has been brought in and is now in surgery. They follow the directions given to the relative’s room and Aaron opens the door, revealing Chas, Cain, Pete, and to Robert’s surprise, Andy. Chas stands up when they enter and looks between them both with worried eyes.

“Well? Is everything okay?” She asks, and Aaron nods, walking further into the room.

“Yeah, everythin’s fine,” he says, taking a seat and glancing at Robert briefly in acknowledgement. Robert nods back and moves to hover beside Andy, uncertain if he should even be in the room with them given the situation. “How’s Debs?”

“She’s got some internal bleeding.” Chas answers, sitting back down and twisting her fingers in her lap. “But y’know Debs, she’s strong, she’ll be fine. Us Dingles always are.”

Andy’s phone ringing suddenly cuts through the air and he stands abruptly, apologising under his breath as he heads for the door quickly under Cain’s steely glare. Robert shifts awkwardly as Cain’s look turns on him, and he does his best to keep his eyes forward and not make contact.

“What you doin’ here Sugden?” Cain snaps, his tone hard and cold, and Robert ducks his head ready to make his excuses and leave.

“Back off Cain.” Aaron replies though, just as hard, and Robert looks over at him in surprise, blinking as he watches Aaron staring at his uncle, his jaw clenched and elbows pressed into his thighs. Cain glares back at his nephew for what feels like minutes, before he turns away muttering harshly under his breath, and Robert relaxes, pressing a hand to his belly as his shoulders slump.

The door to the relative’s room opens again and everyone turns to look. It’s just Andy returning though, and Robert hears Chas, Cain and Pete all sigh in frustration. Andy however doesn’t react, just looks at Robert with an indescribable expression, and Robert frowns in concern. 

“That was Vic,” he says, hands still cupped around his phone. “She said they’ve found Diane. She’s got a few cuts and bruises, but apart from that she’s fine.”

Robert hears Chas sigh in relief, and he feels a sense of it himself, however he can read the unease on Andy’s face and he steps closer to his brother, brow furrowed.

“What’s wrong though? There’s somethin’ else.” He asks carefully, knowing that he’s correct when Andy ducks his gaze down and his shoulders tense. Squaring himself as he breathes in deeply and raises his eyes again, looking directly at Robert’s face.

“It’s Val,” he says, licking his lips and breathing out a resigned sigh. “She’s dead.”

*****

The guilt hadn’t hit him until later, when he’d been sat in the armchair, watching over Andy with half a glass of scotch in his hand and the bottle on the coffee table in front of him.

He hadn’t meant for it to happen, had never meant for it to go so far. All he’d wanted was for her to shut up, to not tell Chrissie, to stop messing with his life and focus on fixing her own mess of a marriage.

But she hadn’t. She’d pushed and pushed until he’d snapped and well, he’d pushed back. And that had been it.

He’d taken a deep swallow of his scotch at that, at the image of her falling through the floorboards flashing behind his eyes on a loop. He’d gasped at the burn against the back of his throat, and his hands had trembled uncontrollably. Andy had stirred on the sofa and he’d frozen abruptly, blinking at Andy with apprehension as he’d moved underneath the blanket thrown over him.

“Go back to sleep.” He’d whispered, half choked and broken as he’d stared at Andy’s pained face even in sleep. “Just go back to sleep Andy.”

And Andy had settled, had rolled onto his back. Robert had sighed and slumped back into the chair, the scotch tumbler half dropping from his fingertips. He’d felt tears blur at his eyes and he’d cried silently, finally, until he too had fallen into a restless sleep.

*****

He speaks to the police that evening when they get back from the hospital, explains all about Chrissie and the fire and the gas canisters, and feels Vic’s eyes on the back of his head the entire time as they sit in the back room of The Woolpack. The police wrap it up quite quickly, noting down his statement and bidding them goodbye with tired smiles; when they’re gone it’s just him and Vic, Diane and Doug still with Eric and Andy looking after Jack and Sarah, and he slumps exhausted back into the sofa, rubbing both hands over his face.

“I can’t believe Chrissie,” Vic says quietly, her voice hoarse as she carries a cup of tea over from the kitchen counter. She’s still in her ruined dress, hair falling out of her intricate braid around her face, and Robert looks at her sadly as she takes a seat opposite him. “Is she actually insane? Why would she even do that?”

He sighs and licks his lips, feeling a stab of guilt as he looks at his sister, his little sister who he could have lost in all of the devastation caused by his actions. 

“I pushed her too much.” He answers, barely above a whisper, thinning his lips and glancing down at his hands in his lap. “I should’ve just walked away like everyone said, left her alone, but I couldn’t and I pushed her too hard.

Vic sighs and looks at him with sympathy, both her hands cupped around the mug resting against her thighs. “Oh Rob you can’t blame yourself for this, it was Chrissie’s choice, _her_ decision to start the fire, you didn’t force her.”

“No,” he says, shaking his head and rubbing one hand through the side of his hair as he bites his lip. “But _I_ cheated on her, _I_ was the one who pushed her to this. Diane was right, I should have given her space, and now because I was too stubborn to listen to her, her sister’s dead!”

Vic sighs pityingly and opens her mouth to respond, but there’s a sound from the hallway, a key turning in the lock, and they both turn to look at the source of the noise. The door shuts closed gently, and Aaron appears in the doorway to the living room, a surprised look on his face at the sight of them both as he plays with his keys.

“Alright?” He asks looking between them both and smiling weakly. “How’s Diane? She in?”

Vic clears her throat and attempts a smile in reply, but her eyes shine bright and she carefully tucks a strand of her hair back behind her ear. “Er no, no she and Doug are with Eric at the B&B. She’s in shock really, think we all are.”

Aaron nods, continuing to fiddle with the keys in his hands, and looks away from Vic and towards Robert. He sucks at his lower lip hesitantly, and Robert feels a little jump in his chest as their eyes meet for the first time.

“And what about you?” Aaron asks, soft, as his eyes roam over Robert’s face. “You okay?”

“Er yeah, yeah.” He stammers out, his lips twitching in some semblance of a smile. He twists a little more in his seat and rubs a palm gently over his stomach, catches Aaron’s eyes following the movement and feels warmth under his skin for the first time in hours. “He’s been kicking away all afternoon, probably won’t stop tonight either.”

Aaron smiles at that, a real one, and he nods his head biting at his lip again as he gestures over his shoulder with his thumb. 

“Mum sent me back to get some stuff for Debs, so I should get changed and head back up,” he says, nodding down at his still bloodstained shirt, ripped at the arm with his thick bandage peeking out; Robert swallows at the sight of it, guilt bubbling back up inside at him as he thinks about what might have happened. “I’ll text you though, later, check he’s still doin’ alright.”

Robert nods and smiles softly, following him with his eyes as Aaron turns and leaves for the door, his footsteps quiet as he heads up the stairs. When he turns back around Vic is looking at him with a pleased expression on her face, her lower lip caught between her teeth as she grins at him with her eyes.

“What?” He asks, shifting awkwardly and trying to act nonchalant even as he can feel his ears flushing. Vic smiles and crosses one leg over the other, making herself comfortable on her chair.

“So, that was nice,” she says, eyes sparkling as she plays with the handle of her mug. “And he’s going to text you later.”

“Yeah about the baby.” He replies dismissively, adjusting the cushions behind him and settling back into the sofa, one arm resting across the crest of the bump. “He’s just worried that’s all, doesn’t _mean_ anythin’ before you start Vic.”

Vic raises one hand in defence and looks at him with amusement, her head tilted slightly to the side. “Yes _but_ , you were worried the other day about him not wanting to be a dad and now you have your answer.”

He mumbles under his breath and Vic stands up, looking triumphant as she heads towards the kitchen with her empty mug. 

“I told ya Aaron was one of the good ones,” she says over her shoulder, switching on the taps and placing her mug in the sink. “You should listen to me more Rob. I’m full of good advice.”

He rolls his eyes and sighs, but can’t fight the small smile that pulls at him mouth when Vic can’t see. The baby stretches inside and he places his fingertips to where he can feel a foot pushing against his skin, pressing back gently as he lets his thoughts drift to a background of his sister carefully washing up in the kitchen.

*****

The first time he’d seen Aaron with Leo he’d had to do a double take, the scene so unfamiliar and strange to him that it’d confused him for a moment.

They’d been in the café, sat together on one of the sofas. Leo with a colouring book and crayons spread out over the table, and Aaron with a mug of half drunk coffee in one hand. Aaron had been smiling softly, his one arm draped over the back of the sofa, almost protective, and the image of it all had Robert pausing in the doorway, blinking softly with a weird feeling in his chest.

“Are you taking up babysitting now?” He’d said, when he’d got his bearings back, stepping closer towards the two of them until Aaron looked up and nodding in acknowledgement. Aaron had huffed, slightly amused, and had moved his hand to ruffle at Leo’s hair gently.

“Just watchin’ him while Paddy and Rhona go into town. Means we can spend some time together though don’t it little man?” He’d grinned down at Leo, a smile Robert had never seen on his face before. Leo had looked up from his colouring, a lion which he’d scribbled in purple and green, and had smiled back briefly. Robert had bitten at his lip and had shuffled on his feet, folding his arms around his waist.

“Well I’d better leave you to it,” he’d said, nodding his head and turning away to head towards the counter. Aaron had called his name quickly and he’d twisted back around, raising one eyebrow curiously.

“I’m free later,” he’d said meaningfully, tone soft and quiet. “Y’know, if you fancied a drink or summat?”

Robert had smirked and bitten at the corner of his lip, nodding once as Aaron had smiled back. Bob had greeted him cheerfully, tea towel tossed over his shoulder and a stack of paper cups in his hand.

“Americano to go please Bob, got somewhere I need to be.”

*****

Vanessa gives birth 11 weeks premature and he doesn’t see Vic for 2 days.

He doesn’t know what to feel, him not really knowing Vanessa very well and also feeling resentment towards Adam for putting his sister in this position in the first place; but at the same time it sends a shock through him when he realises that Vanessa’s due date is only a week before his, and he spends a good couple of hours after this realisation, sat on the sofa with a hand to his belly trying to not think about how it could easily be _him_ instead. How it could be _his_ baby fixed up to wires and tubes, and fighting to survive against all the odds. 

When he does see Vic she looks tired and drained, and he makes her a cup of milky tea with 3 sugars. She smiles at him wearily in thanks and takes a small sip, sighing as she sits back against the sofa.

“I thought maybe I’d hate him,” she says after a few minutes, Robert now sat beside her on the sofa. “The baby. Thought that maybe all I’d see is what Adam did. But he’s so tiny Rob, he’s so little and sick and I can’t hate him because all I can see is _Adam_ , and I don’t know what I’ll do if he doesn’t make it ‘cause Adam’ll be heartbroken, he’ll be so devastated. I just want him to be okay.”

She wipes at her eyes and exhales shakily. Robert looks at her with sympathy and turns in towards her more, resting one arm across the back of the sofa.

“He’ll be alright Vic,” he says reassuringly, squeezing her shoulder gently as she continues to rub the tears from her cheeks. “You said yourself the other day the doctors have said he’s strong, that he’s doing well, he’ll be out before you know it.”

She nods and smiles wobbly back in thanks, trying to compose herself as she moves her tea from palm to palm. “I know. And you’re right he’ll be okay, he’s part of Adam so of course he’ll be.”

She finishes the last of her tea and leans forward to place the mug down on the coffee table, sitting back and rubbing at her thighs determinedly. 

“I’d better head back,” she says with a sigh. “I told Adam I’d bring him some clothes.”

He nods and she stands up, shoving her hands into her hoodie pockets. She looks at him with a sad smile and he raises an eyebrow curiously.

“When you see Diane can you tell her I’m thinkin’ of her? And if she needs anything – ”

“You know what she’ll say Vic.” He interrupts her off softly, looking at her with warmth. “She’ll say to keep focused on you and Adam and the baby.”

“I know,” Vic says with a brief, amused twitch of her lips, heading towards the door and the staircase. “But still, I want her to know she’s not on her own, that I’m still here for her no matter what’s goin’ on with the baby.”

He nods and licks at his lower lip. “I’ll let her know Vic, soon as I see her.”

Vic smiles in thanks and heads out of the room, her footsteps slow and lethargic on the stairs. Robert sighs and rubs at his eyes, feeling irrationally guilty as he hears her quietly opening and closing wardrobe doors, the floorboards creaking under her feet from above.

*****

After Vic leaves he heads over to the pub, wrapping his coat around him tight as he braves the bitter wind.

The pub is almost empty when he gets inside, a couple of punters sat at tables but nobody waiting to be served. Both Chas and Diane however are stood on the other side of the bar, and he walks over to the counter slowly, smiling at Diane when he catches her eye.

“Alright pet?” She asks, cheerful on the surface but he can see the bags under her eyes, her hair flattened more than usual and limp. “Didn’t expect to see you in here today.”

“Yeah well,” he says, resting his hands on the edge of the bar and leaning against it as he looks at her softly. “Just thought I’d come over and see how you’re doing?”

Diane smiles weakly before she sighs and presses her fingers briefly against her temple. “I’m okay. Doin’ better than Eric in any case.”

He nods and ducks his head a little, shuffling on his feet as a flash of guilt hits him unexpectedly. He clears his throat and tries to push it away, shove it back as he looks at Diane’s lined, tired eyes.

“Vic says if you need anythin’ – ”

Diane shakes her head and waves a hand cutting him off. “Oh that girl, she’s got enough on her plate as it is! But tell her I said thanks, but I’m doin’ okay, and she needs to focus on Adam and the baby first before worryin’ about me.”

He smiles, the closest thing to a true smile he’d had all week, and looks at her fondly. “I told her you’d say that.”

“Yeah well it’s true. And same goes for you, don’t think I haven’t heard what happened at the hospital,” she says with an undertone of accusation as she raises an eyebrow at him. He sighs and rolls his eyes, glances at Chas who continues to wipe absently at glasses and act as if she isn’t listening in on everything they say.

“Well I’m alright Diane, was nothing serious.” He replies placatingly, holding up his fingers off the edge of the bar in defence. Diane pulls a face but lets it slide.

“Just look after yourself Robert,” she says carefully, her expression becoming serious and sad as she looks at him, her eyes flicking between his own. 

“After Val – ” She cuts herself off, swallowing heavily and composing herself as her eyes begin to shine; the flash of guilt looms again in the pit of Robert’s stomach. “Well I’m not sure I could take anythin’ happening to any of you after everythin’ that’s gone on.”

“Diane!” Chas pipes up suddenly, her heels clicking as she walks over, cloth still in her hand and an overly bright smile on her face. “Think I just heard Doug come back, why don’t you pop out back and have an early lunch if you like? I can cover in here for now.”

“Are you sure?” Diane replies, her tone hesitant but her demeanour clearly relieved. “What about the lunch rush?”

Chas shakes her head and waves the cloth in her hand once, gesturing towards the mostly empty pub.

“Hardly think they’ll be much of a rush, besides,” she says, looking towards him and nodding with an unduly sweet smile. “If by some chance I do end up snowed under with 6 cottage pie orders, Robert can help out. Can’t you Robert?”

He blinks and parts his lips, a little taken aback. Chas glares at him from behind the pleasant expression on her face, and he clears his throat as Diane turns to look at him.

“Yeah, yeah.” He nods, looking back reassuringly at his step-mother. “I can help out, if it gets busy. You go have a break with Doug, we’ll be fine out here.”

Diane looks between them both before sighing and nodding, sending them both a fleeting smile in thanks as she heads through to the back. Robert keeps his expression as close to neutral as possible until she disappears from sight, then allows it to fall as glances over at Chas tentatively, feeling his jaw tighten when she peers back at him with an undecipherable look.

“You don’t have to stay,” she says flatly, turning away towards the bar again and picking up another glass to clean. “I can manage here fine, I just needed her to actually take a break for 5 minutes.”

“Right,” he says in reply, tapping his fingers against the bar dejected and pushing away. “I’ll er, be off then.”

She nods and he moves away, heading over towards the door and shoving his hands in his coat pockets. He makes it halfway to the exit when Chas calls his name and he pauses, looking at her puzzled over his shoulder as he stands between 2 empty tables.

“I’m glad,” she says carefully, fidgeting on the spot as if it pains her to say so. “That everything’s alright with the baby. I was worried. Back at the hospital I mean. Aaron never said you’d had … _issues_ already.”

He swallows and tilts his head to one side, shrugging loosely as he turns further around towards her. 

“Well not many know, just Vic, and Aaron obviously.” He answers quietly, before looking at Chas with determined eyes. “And I don’t want it getting back to Diane either, it’s the last thing she needs right now.”

Chas nods, ducking her gaze down briefly as she continues to shuffle on her feet. “I won’t say anything. Like I said I’m just glad everything’s okay. For the baby’s _and_ Aaron’s sake.”

He frowns a little at that, confused, but Chas walks away and back down the bar to serve a customer before he can respond. He bites his lip and sighs heavily through his nose, before turning around again and moving through the doors and back out into the cold.

*****

He’s in the shop buying milk and coffee, when he hears Pearl gossiping with Rodney about the police being up at Home Farm.

He tries not to let it niggle at him, but as he’s leaving David’s and stepping back out onto the street, instead of turning and going inside when he reaches Vic’s, he finds himself wandering out of the village and down the lanes. Every step he takes is cautious and uncertain, but not enough to make him turn and head back.

The cars are all on the driveway when he eventually reaches Home Farm, and suddenly he feels overwhelmed by apprehension as he looks at the door to the office. He swallows and breathes out slowly, steeling himself, and pushes open the office door, walking inside.

The office is deserted but in reality he expected it to be. He walks through towards the house proper and pushes open the door, listening carefully as he hears soft voices coming from the living room. 

“We need to be strong for your mother,” he hears Lawrence’s voice say. “The next few weeks are going to be …difficult, however we will get her through this. The lawyers have all said that there is an excellent chance no further action will be taken, which is the best news we could hope for.”

“This is all Robert’s fault.” Lachlan’s voice grinds out. “Him and that chav from the village. If Robert hadn’t been here rubbing mum’s nose in it every day, then none of this would have happened!”

He pauses and ducks his head, licking at his lower lip and sighing as he adjusts his grip on the fabric bag in his hand. He turns back around, suddenly not quite sure what he was hoping to achieve by coming, and begins to walk back to the office, keeping his footsteps as quiet as possible.

“And what are _you_ doing here?!” 

He halts abruptly, hand outstretched for the door handle. He looks over his shoulder and sees Lawrence stood across the room in the entrance to the living room, a furious look on his face. He sighs and drops his hand, turning back around as Lachlan appears beside his grandfather in the doorway.

“What’s he doing here?! After everything you’ve done to mum!” Lachlan snaps, moving to rush forward at him. He steps back instinctively, but Lachlan is stopped by Lawrence’s outstretched arm, pushing him back. 

“Go back inside Lachlan,” Lawrence says flat but stern, his eyes not straying from Robert even as Lachlan glares at him in confusion.

“But – ” Lachlan begins to protest, but Lawrence shakes his head, and Lachlan scowls but complies, walking back into the living room and slamming the door behind him. Lawrence pays it no mind though, just continues to stare him down, his jaw tense.

“I’ll ask you again Robert, what are you doing here?” He asks. Robert glances down at the floor apprehensively and presses his lips together, straightens his shoulders as if preparing himself for battle.

“I came to see how Chrissie is doing. I heard, about the police I mean.”

Lawrence scoffs and stares back at him in disgust. “Oh really? And I’m supposed to believe that?”

He clenches his jaw and shifts in a little closer, looking at Lawrence in the eye unflinchingly. “You know I do actually care about Chrissie – ”

Lawrence laughs, hard and cold, the sound exaggerated and echoing in the empty room around them. 

“Care? Robert if you _ever_ cared about my daughter you wouldn’t have done what did. No, all you care about is yourself and what you can get.”

Lawrence walks towards the table in the middle of the room and riffles in his inner jacket pocket. Robert frowns in confusion, puzzled as he watches Lawrence lean on the table top, clicking a pen with his thumb and scribbling away. He straightens after a moment, the tearing sound of paper loud, and he turns back around towards Robert, stepping closer as he looks down his nose at him.

“This goes against every cell in my body,” he says, holding out the slip of paper. Robert raises an eyebrow when he notes the bank logo on the top and Lawrence’s squiggle of a signature on the bottom. “But I will pay the price to get you out of my daughter’s life for good.”

He blinks, staring at the cheque in disbelief, especially when he notes the sum written in the small box, the multiple zeros taking him by surprise. Lawrence however takes his silence as protest and he sneers, waving to cheque closer.

“It’s more than you deserve!” Lawrence snaps, his eyes blazing. “So just take it Robert, and get out. From here on out the offer will just get less and less with every rejection.”

He steps closer and reaches out for the cheque, taking it hesitantly as Lawrence sneers. He holds it between his thumbs and index fingers and swallows heavily as he runs his eyes over the ink. £250,000. More than enough to set him and his son up for life.

“Now I want you to get out of this house.” Lawrence hisses, crowding in closer towards him, angry pheromones pouring from every inch of his skin and making the hairs on the back of Robert’s neck stand on end. “And if I _ever_ catch you within 10 feet of this place or my daughter, I promise you your life will be no longer living. Have I made myself clear?!”

Robert breathes out through his nose and straightens his shoulders out, not wanting to show any weakness to Lawrence despite all his instincts telling him to back away and fast. 

“Crystal,” he says, with as much strength to his tone as he can muster. He folds the cheque and slots it away in his coat pocket, holding his jaw tight and looking Lawrence directly in the eyes. He holds contact for a brief moment, Lawrence unblinking, before he turns and walks away towards the front door. He reaches out for the handle and grasps it firmly in his hand, pausing as he looks back at Lawrence over his shoulder.

“No matter what you think, I never meant to hurt Chrissie,” he says, earnest as he watches Lawrence’s lips thin and fists curl. “In fact that was the last thing I wanted.”

And with that he turns away, opening the door and stepping back into the cold. Leaving Home Farm behind him and not looking back.

*****

The first time he’d stepped into White Enterprises’ head office, he’d been a young 23 year old with a brown leather satchel thrown over his shoulder.

A friend of a friend had recommended him for a job vacancy over drinks one night in his local, had told him to send over his CV in the morning and he’d pass it on to the relevant hiring manager. Robert had been dubious about it at first, White Enterprises being notoriously difficult to get a position at, but he’d done it anyway, sat in his pants with a banging headache the following morning as he’d quickly typed up the email.

2 days later he’d gotten a call from a Debbie, who was very eager to meet him, and 3 days after that he’d found himself at in the lobby of a modest sized office block, with high ceilings and wide glass windows. He’d been tapping his foot anxiously on the marble flooring, staring absently around the room and taking in the people rushing about through doors and up stairs, when a blonde women in high heels had stopped in front of him, one hand outstretched as she’d clutched a Blackberry in the other.

“Robert Sugden?” She’d asked, a friendly smile on her face. “I’m Debbie Jacobs, I believe we spoke on the phone.”

He’d stood abruptly and taken her hand, shaking it enthusiastically and smiling at her with business professionalism. She’d made small talk with him as she’d directed him towards a set of doors, and they’d both paused in conversation when a rush of feet and a mild commotion had sounded from the bridge above, a stream a men and women hurrying behind a well suited older man, who strode with purpose across to the second set of doors.

“That’s Mr White,” Debbie had said, a look of admiration spreading over her face as she’d peered up at the man. “He’s the CEO of White Enterprises. Built the company up from the ground. He’s a good man, looks after his staff well.”

And Robert had watched him too, watched him with some degree of admiration and envy until he disappeared through the doors taking his entourage with him. Debbie had then gestured him through to his own set of doors and Robert had followed, his head held high and more determined than he’d ever been.

*****

The bus is 10 minutes late already.

He sighs, digging his chin into the neck of his coat as he folds his arms around himself, tucking his hands under his arm pits and flexing the fingers of his left hand against the chilly plastic folder clutched in them. His breath spills out in front of him like smoke, and he rocks back and forth on his heels with growing impatience for public transport. 

He hears a car roll up just to his right but pays it no mind, too busy glaring a hole in the road and cursing Hotten buses mentally while he shivers, to spare it a thought. It isn’t until he hears a very familiar voice call his name, that he snaps his head up and looks at the car, a flush of warmth immediately lighting under his skin.

“You alright?” Aaron asks with a raised eyebrow, leaning across the passenger seat to call out through the open window. His lips are curled slightly at the corners in amusement. “Look like you’re a million miles away.”

“Er yeah, yeah.” He replies, clearing his throat and flashing Aaron a brief smile. “Just y’know, workin’ on my frostbite, be surprised if I still have all my fingers by the time the bus _actually_ gets here.”

Aaron nods thoughtfully, sucking at his lower lip and looking at him with bright eyes. 

“Where you off to?” He says lightly; Robert shuffles on his feet and ducks his head a little to see him better.

“Hospital.” He answers, and shakes his head reassuringly when he sees worry flash over Aaron’s face. He gestures towards him with the folder and smiles at him softly. “Nothin’ bad, just an antenatal appointment. Have them every few weeks.”

Aaron nods, relaxing visibly, and Robert sees him shift in his seat, fingers readjusting their grip on the steering wheel as he bites at his lip again. 

“Oh right, yeah, course. Obvious really,” he says, rubbing the side of his neck and jaw. He shifts again in his seat, turning a little more towards the window, and Robert watches him endeared, trying to keep the grin from his face. 

“I’m er, off into town now actually.” Aaron continues after a moment, dipping his eyes down briefly and shrugging his shoulders. “Could drop ya off if ya want? Save your fingers fallin’ off.”

Robert can’t stop his grin at that and nods, unfolding his arms and inching closer. “If you don’t mind?”

Aaron shakes his head and shrugs again. “Wouldn’t have offered if I did. ‘Sides, he’s my kid too, be shit of me if I left ya out here.”

Robert nods, eyebrows raised teasingly and laughs under his breath when Aaron rolls his eyes, gesturing for him to get in the car. He opens the door and carefully slides down into the seat, dropping the folder into his lap as he pulls on the seatbelt. He sees Aaron watching him out of the corner of his eye, and turns to look at him when he’s done, giving him a quick smile. Aaron nods once in response and looks away, switching the ignition back on and shifting the car into gear as he pulls away and back onto the road.

*****

When Robert steps back out into the hospital car park he’s surprised to see Aaron still parked up exactly where he’d left him.

He smiles to himself as he walks across towards the Polo, tapping the folder gently against his outer thigh as he looks left and right, checking for cars. He sees Aaron pushing himself up to sit straight when he opens the door to the car, flicking his eyes over Robert as he climbs awkwardly back inside.

“Everythin’ go alright?” He asks, and Robert hears the hint of apprehension in his voice, the tone making his inside flutter pleasantly. 

“Yeah, everything’s fine,” he says, settling into the seat and looking at Aaron, one hand falling automatically over the crest of his belly. Aaron’s eyes immediately glance down to look at his hand and Robert bites at his lip to hold back his smile. “Good size, kicking well apparently, but didn’t need the midwife to tell me that.”

Aaron nods and flicks his eyes back up to Robert’s face, giving him a tiny smile and tapping his thumb on the edge of the steering wheel. Robert adjusts the folder in his lap, and runs his eyes pointedly around the car before meeting Aaron’s once again, raising an eyebrow innocently as he licks at his lips. 

“I mean not that I don’t appreciate it,” he says, leaning back into the seat and turning his legs a little into the centre console to better look at Aaron’s face. “But thought you’d have headed off by now though, thought you said you had some stuff to do?”

Aaron shuffles awkwardly and ducks his chin down, his eyes trailing away to look out of the windscreen as he shrugs once; Robert forces back the grin threatening to curl at his mouth.

“Thought you’d need a lift back.” Aaron replies casually, pulling a dismissive face and looking quickly in Robert’s direction. “Weren’t anythin’ important I was doin’ anyway.”

Robert nods and tilts his head considering, he licks at his lip hesitantly and toys carefully with the edge of the folder, peering over at Aaron from under his lashes. 

“Well, if you’ve not got anything on, maybe we could go to a pub or somethin’? I’m starving and well, we never got a chance to talk about access or anythin’ did we.”

Aaron looks at him and blinks once, his eyes a little wide, before he nods and clears his throat.

“Er yeah, yeah sure,” he says, looking at him softly and running his thumb again around the edge of the steering wheel. “You got anywhere in mind?”

Robert grins and nods, leaning back into his seat and grabbing for the seatbelt with one hand. 

“Don’t worry, I know the perfect place.”

*****

He’d met Connor in a bar one night. He’d been drunk and wanting sex, and Connor had been out scouting for his next client.

He’d paid him that first time, had felt he should after Connor had given up a night’s work to take him back to his apartment. But afterwards Connor had given him his number, his _personal_ number, and had told Robert to call him whenever he needed that itch to be scratched, the one Chrissie could never touch.

He’d met up with Connor a few times. After a bad day at work, after a row with Chrissie or Lawrence or on occasion Lachlan. He’d call Connor up and Connor would tell him to come over, would promise a good fuck, would whisper down the phone how he’d lie back and just _take it_ , do what omegas do best. 

It was after one of those nights, when Chrissie had been on his case all day about him not trying hard enough with Lawrence, that Connor had said it. Had pushed the boundaries of casual, meaningless sex too far.

“Don’t you ever get bored,” he’d said, reclined artfully on the bed with a cigarette between his fingers. Hair coiffed still perfectly despite the vigorous pounding Robert had just given him, his skin almost the same colour as his cream, soft sheets and smooth like none Robert had ever seen. “Just taking shite from that girlfriend of yours and her family. No offence Robert but they sound horrendous.”

He’s sighed tiredly, fingers pausing halfway up the buttons on his shirt as he’d stood at the side of the bed. He’d looked over at Connor and had shaken his head, before glancing away again and continuing from where he’d left off.

“Chrissie is important to me, and I love her.” He’d answered pointedly. “She’s everythin’.”

He’d heard Connor scoff and had looked up again sharply, frowning as Connor had sat himself up against the pillows, ashing his cigarette into a nearby empty cup.

“Please.” Connor had drawled, both amusement and a hint of distain detectable on his face. “You’ve spent more time in my bed than you have in hers this week, and you’re honestly telling me that she’s your ‘everything’. The truth is Robert you’re lying to her, about everything, I mean does she even know you like to fuck men too? Or is that something you haven’t talked about yet?”

He’s strode closer to the bed at that, anger and fear making his pulse hammer in the base of his throat. 

“Is that a threat?” He’d snapped, pointing at Connor as his jaw had clenched. Connor has snorted and had shaken his head bitterly, drawing deeply on his smoke. 

“No.” He’d replied casually, exhaling through his nose and looking back at Robert under the curl of his fringe. “I’m just saying, if you plan to marry her and have a million boring kids, don’t you think she should know? Or is it that you're too scared she’d drop you if she found out you were some queer closet case.”

Robert had sneered and had snatched his jeans up from the floor, shoving his legs inside forcefully and fumbling at the zip. “You know what fuck you Connor, I’m done here.”

“You already have done.” Connor had smirked. Robert had shaken his head and had yanked on his leather jacket.

He’d heard the mattress groan as he’d been checking his pocket for his keys, and suddenly Connor had been at his side, still as naked as he had been sprawled out across the bed. 

“You know I could love you too, Robert.” Connor had murmured, his tone soft and almost desperate. He’d been so close that Robert had been able to smell him, the warm vanilla spice under the raw scent of sex and come. “Just as much as she does.”

He’d felt something uncomfortable squirm in his stomach at those words, had almost felt sick with fear, the memories of his dad long since buried niggling at the base of his skull until he’d shaken his head hard, and had turned to look at Connor with a repulsed look.

“Blokes are for sex.” He’d taunted, his teeth almost bared as he’d pushed in closer to Connor’s personal space. “You’re nothin’ too me, just a warm hole to stick it in, it’s all you’re good for. And if you think I’d ever settle down with _you_ , then you’re deluded mate.”

He’d stormed towards the door then, hands trembling as he’d grasped for the handle and yanked, the wood rattling on its hinges as he’d taken a heavy breath and looked back at Connor once more. 

“I love Chrissie, and one day she’ll be my gorgeous wife. We’ll have a million kids and I won’t need blokes like you, won’t need men at all, because I’ll have her, and she’s enough. She’s more than you could _ever_ be.”

The slam of the door had echoed down the hallway, the sound reverberating on the whitewashed walls as he’d strode towards the lift. He’d pressed the call button with clumsy stabs and when it’d arrived, he’d sunk down to the floor, head buried in his hands and heart beating out of his chest.

*****

The pub they end up in is nice and modern, craft beers on tap and a quirky menu written in cursive chalk above the bar. He’s been with Vic before, a few months previously when she’d dragged him out for some ‘sibling bonding time’, and as soon as they step inside he finds himself craving the steak and ale pie he’d happily tucked into on that day.

Aaron looks around appreciatively before gesturing at the bar. Robert nods and heads towards the tables, finding a cosy corner booth and shrugging out of his coat. He takes a seat and flicks briefly through the menu – the steak and ale pie still listed to his joy – as he watches Aaron in short bursts, his gaze repeatedly being drawn down to the stretch of his jeans across his arse as he props one foot up on the gold trim at the bottom of the bar. 

When Aaron turns around, a glass clutched in each hand, he looks away abruptly and immerses himself in the menu, pretends to be intently studying it as Aaron places the drinks down on the table and takes a seat.

“S’nice in here,” Aaron says as he settles in, Robert dropping the menu down and looking across at him openly. “You been before or somethin’?”

“Came with Vic once.” He answers, leaning back in his seat and reaching for the glass of orange juice Aaron had set down in front of him. “Food’s good too.”

Aaron nods and licks the foam from his beer from his lips, gently placing his pint down again on one of the many beer mats. 

“So, it went alright then? At the hospital?” He asks, toying with the bottom of his glass as flicks his gaze between Robert and his pint. Robert smiles and nods in confirmation, tapping the tips of his fingers against the edge of the table.

“Yeah, all fine,” he says softly, lifting one hand and instinctively placing it over his belly, smoothing his palm across the expanse of his jumper. “‘Healthy and growing well’ she said. Apparently he’s the size of a butternut squash.” 

Aaron pulls a thoughtful face and nods, continuing to play carefully with his pint glass. 

“That’s er, that’s quite big innit? When you think about it.” He responds, rubbing his fingers through the stubble of his beard, and shifting in his seat. “Not long left now really is there?”

Robert presses his lips together a little and shakes his head, feeling a small anxious flutter inside as he considers Aaron’s words. “No. Just 10 weeks on Tuesday.”

Aaron nods, and Robert notes he looks a little anxious himself, licking and biting at his lip as he drops his hands down from the table to rub over the tops of his thighs. Robert stills his hand on his stomach and eyes him carefully, swallowing nervously as he steels himself to broach the conversation finally.

“It’s why we need to talk things through,” he says with conviction. “He’ll be here before we know it, and I’d like it if we both knew where we stand before he’s born.”

Aaron nods again and takes another sip from his pint, leaning forward to rest his elbows on the table and press his hands together. Robert breathes in and sits up higher in his seat, rubbing at the bump as the baby stirs in a slow, lazy wriggle.

“I want you there.” He continues on an exhale, looking at Aaron and trying to get a read on his expression. “You’re his dad and I want you involved, in _everythin’_ too, not just his birthday or Christmas. You can see him every day if you want.”

Aaron swallows back his mouthful and beer and quietly huffs in contempt. “You’ve changed ya tune. Now you’re not trying to play happily families with Chrissie.”

Robert sighs and looks away, his jaw tightening as he thinks back to that morning in the hotel, Aaron upset and him half desperate as he tried to keep the threads of his rapidly spiralling life together. His emotions had been all over the place; on the one hand his life and future with Chrissie, on the other his reluctance to let Aaron go, to let him leave and not have him there by his side anymore. Looking back on it now it’d been obvious why he couldn’t let Aaron go, couldn’t let him walk away from him and his son even though Aaron had practically begged him to. It was the same reason he would have run straight into a burning building if Andy hadn’t stopped him.

“I – I know I’ve been stupid Aaron,” he says slowly, sliding forward in his seat and moving to mirror Aaron’s position opposite him. “I know I said things, _stupid_ things, but I know better now. I’m not sayin’ I’m suddenly perfect, ‘cause I’m far from it, but I’m tryin’ and I want to do things right, _put things right_ between us. I know you hate me Aaron, because I would hate me too if I was you, but like it or not we’re havin’ a baby, our son who is gonna need us, _both of us_ , and I don’t want him to suffer because of something I’ve done.”

Aaron plays with his glass again, eyes down on the wood grain of the table, but Robert sees him nod, his mouth twitching ever so slightly in acknowledgement. Aaron raises his head then and looks back at him, shrugging one shoulder and licking at his lower lip.

“I don’t hate ya Robert.” He replies, his tone soft as he looks back at Robert’s face with warm blue eyes, and Robert’s stomach flips. “You hurt me yeah, and I hated some of the things ya did, but I don’t hate you.

“And I wanna be involved.” He continues, nodding his head as if assuring himself, and glancing back up at Robert and away from his pint. “I always did. He’s my boy and I wanna see him grow up, be there for him.”

Robert smiles small and tentative, and nods too, leaning in closer still and maintaining eye contact with him. “Good,” he says easily. “Well like I said you can have him whenever you want. On your own, or we could, y’know take him out sometimes, the both of us.”

Aaron looks hesitant at that and Robert sees him bite at the corner of his lip. He holds his breath, worried that he’d stepped too far, pushed Aaron too soon, when Aaron nods and shuffles on the bench.

“Yeah. Yeah maybe.” He replies, rubbing at his jaw and continuing to chew away at his lip. “Maybe when he’s just born, so we can get used to bein’ with him, figurin’ out how to do everythin’ for him.”

Robert smiles and nods in reply, opening his mouth to respond, when a waitress stops at their table and asks if she can get them anything. They order food because despite his irritation at being disturbed, Robert really is hungry and his stomach rumbles at the thought of the tasting the pie again. Once the waitress has taken their order, Aaron heads back to the bar with a gesture towards him of his empty pint glass. 

When Aaron returns they sit there quietly, Aaron slowly supping at his fresh pint and Robert glancing absently around the room, twisting the napkin the waitress had placed on the table for him between his fingers. 

He hears Aaron’s glass clink as it touches the table, and he looks back over at him, swallowing heavily as a rush of pure _need_ suddenly floods through him. The feeling isn’t even one of pure lust, nothing like the sheer unadulterated _want_ he’d felt back at the beginning of the affair – although the longing to feel Aaron pressed up against him once more is undeniably still there – no, it’s more of a need to be _close_ to him, to just be _with_ him. To sit beside him and just exist, to have Aaron in his life always, to just _be_.

“Do – do you ever think about it might have been like?” He finds himself choking out, pulse a tangible sensation in the base of his throat. “Y’know, if we’d left the village when I asked you all those months ago?”

Aaron frowns, turning to look at him and away from where he’d been watching a group of young women celebrating at the bar. “Er no, not really.” He replies, clearing his throat and shrugging a little. Robert nods sadly and feels a sinking swoop in the pit of his stomach, looking away from Aaron and taking a drink from his orange juice as he tries not to let the disappointment show on his face.

“You’d have been pregnant already then wouldn’t ya?” Aaron says quietly, a strange tone to his voice, and Robert turns sharply to look at him with a raised eyebrow. He blinks, as Aaron’s words register with him properly and thinks back quickly, remembers the row with Chrissie, Aaron not having spoken to him for any real length of time after _that_ week at Easter. 

“Er yeah, guess so.” He answers slowly, a tiny frown still pulling at his brow. “Now that you mention it yeah, must have been.”

Aaron nods and sips again from his glass, sighing under his breath as he places it down and leans back against the bench. He looks at Robert and shrugs, crossing his arms across his waist.

“It wouldn’t’ve ever worked, you and me, running away. We’d’ve never stood a chance.”

Robert frowns harder, feeling a sting at Aaron’s offhand comment. “Why not?”

“Oh ‘cause you were ready to be ‘out and proud’ right?” Aaron snorts, his expression not exactly warm as he looks back at him with a pointed gaze. “And what would’ve happened a few weeks later when you found out you was havin’ a kid?”

Robert’s eyes narrow and his nose wrinkles at the bridge. Hurt pulls at him, tugs at his skin at the subtle implication Aaron is hinting at. However he can’t stop the thoughts that pop into his head, him taking a test in an unknown bathroom in a different city, him having that same sinking feeling he’d first felt when the smiley face showed up in baby pink. He’d like to say he knows for sure that he’d have told Aaron immediately, that he’d have been nervous but happy, without any doubt; but deep down he knows it wouldn’t have been that simple, not by a long shot, and so he shuts down that thought before it can truly take root, feeling anger at himself for even allowing it to creep out into his conscience.

“Nothin’.” Is what he fires back instead, tone prickly as he stares at Aaron, hard and determined. “We’d be having a baby, same as now. Except we’d be bringing him up together, we’d have a house, we’d be doin’ up his room. We’d be happy.”

Aaron scoffs at that and shakes his head, a bitter smile on his face as he reaches for his pint again. Robert feels irritation bubble away under his skin, anger at Aaron for thinking so little of him making him want to snap back and put him in his place. But then he thinks back to what he’d said not half an hour before, about his previous promise to Vic and his pledge to Aaron that he was trying to be _better_ , and he sighs defeatedly.

“Look I know I’ve been an idiot and in denial, I know that better than anyone,” he says softly, calming himself as he leans closer across the table and meets Aaron’s eyes. Aaron frowns but doesn’t look away, listening even as his posture remains defensive. “But I meant what I said Aaron. Everythin’. At the hotel I said I needed ya, and I do, I can’t do this without you. The truth is I _love you_ , Aaron. I meant it then and I’ve never stopped.”

Aaron blinks and looks away, swallows visibly and Robert takes a deep, worried breath. 

“Robert – ”

“It could just be us.” Robert cuts him off before he can get any further, too scared to hear the rejection that he knows was about to fall from Aaron’s lips. He can feel his heart pounding in his chest and he has the undeniable urge to run, but he forces himself to stay, to say what he should have all those months ago when Aaron had sat broken on the edge of their borrowed bed. 

“It could just you, me and our little boy, Aaron.” He continues gently, leaning into the table harder as he tries his hardest to get Aaron to _look_ at him, make him see the honesty, the _need_ on his face. “We could do it, we could raise him _together_ , be a proper family. Isn’t that what you want too?”

Aaron finally turns towards him and Robert holds his breath at the indecipherable expression on his face, his mouth set in a firm line but eyes still holding a hint of softness and _sadness_ that makes Robert’s heart thump. He itches to reach out for him, to grab hold of him and make him _see_ , take away the uncertain look on his face, but a loud sound to his right makes him jump and he pulls back, looking over at the waitress placing their food down with a scowl.

“So I’ve got a steak and ale pie and a beef burger with a side of onion rings,” she says, overly cheerful and bright eyed. Robert grumbles under his breath, nodding at the pie and muttering a ‘thanks’ as she puts it in front of him. She leaves then with a smile and he looks back over at Aaron, his stomach sinking when he sees him necking back the remainder of his pint and heading back over to the bar without a word. He sighs, burying his face in his hands and pressing his fingertips into his eyes, cursing himself for opening his mouth, for pushing Aaron too much far too soon.

“We need to focus on the baby, do what’s best for him,” Aaron’s voice suddenly says, a clink of a glass on wood making Robert snap his head up and blink at him wide eyed. “He’s the most important thing Robert, and right now us bein’ together just ‘cause of him, it’s not gonna work. I don’t want that for him, a messed up home, I want him to be happy, to know he’s loved more than anythin’ or anyone, and we can’t give him that if we’re rowin’ all the time.”

Robert stares up at him and nods, relief flooding through him that Aaron isn’t going to walk away, is still willing to try despite Robert’s clumsy declaration, that he still wants to be there for their son. Aaron slides down back onto the bench, moving his glass of coke over onto a beer mat, and Robert clears his throat, composing himself as he reaches for his knife and fork. 

“Okay. No that’s fine, you’re right, it’s what’s best for him,” he says quietly, fighting back the underlying sting a rejection that scratches at him, despite the relief he feels at Aaron still wanting to be there for the baby. “But that doesn’t mean we can’t hang out together does it, that we can’t try to be friends?”

Aaron pauses, burger halfway to his mouth and Robert waits, knife and fork poised above his pie as Aaron shuffles in his seat.

“Yeah.” Aaron answers eventually, his voice slightly roughened as he nods his head, his eyes full of some sort of emotion that Robert can’t quite decipher. “Yeah we can be mates, no harm in it is there?”

“No, not at all.” Robert replies, a smile small and uncertain. He sees Aaron send a smile back, the same hesitant look that he imagines is on his face, and he licks at his lip as he looks down at his plate, finally cutting into the layers of crisp pastry and taking a satisfying first bite that warms him right down to his core.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> #progress


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my _God_ , this chapter is an absolute _monster_. I have no idea how it got this long seriously, and after I'd finished it I did consider breaking it down into 2, but as it's Christmas I thought 'fuck it' let's just get it out there, and so this is my present to you guys. So I really, really hope you enjoy it because I really enjoyed writing it.
> 
> As this will be more than likely the last update of the year I'd just like to say a huge, huge thank you to you all for sticking with my little story, and I can't thank you all enough for all the lovely comments and kudos, I really, truly appreciate it so thank you! I'd like to wish you all a lovely couple of weeks and I hope you all have a wonderful start to the New Year too, fingers crossed 2018 brings lots and lots of good things! ❤️

Vic raises an eyebrow at him when he walks through the front door, the wide smile still on his face as he tosses his keys into the bowl.

“Well you look happy,” she says, leaning against the kitchen doorway with a mug clutched in her hands. “You win the lottery or summat?”

He grins wider and ducks his head down, toying with the folder between his fingers.

“You could say that, yeah.” He smiles, nodding his head as he looks back up at his sister, her expression even more baffled than previously. He gestures towards the stairs and shrugs out of his coat, hanging it over the end of the bannister. “Gonna have a shower, I’ll see you later.”

Vic makes a sound of protest but he ignores her, all but jogging up the stairs. He moves into his room and tosses the folder down onto the bed carelessly, before leaning back against the door with a satisfied sigh.

*****

He wakes early the next morning, the baby jabbing him hard in the rib and making him flinch. He groans, glancing over at the clock and seeing the time glaring back at him in red LED’s. 7:26. Far, far too early to be awake when he doesn’t have a job to get up for.

He rolls over and tries to go back to sleep, bunching the pillow up under his head and sighing, but the baby won’t let up on his kicking and he groans again, rubbing tiredly at his eyes and rolling back over onto his back. 

He reaches for his phone on the bedside table and pulls the charger out, tapping the lock button once and pressing his thumb against it to unlock it. He flicks away a couple of updates that had completed over night, briefly scrolling through the news updates on the BBC app, before opening his messages as the baby kicks again. He rubs soothingly at the bump and taps away at his phone with his thumb.

_**To: Aaron --- Sent: 07:38**  
Your son doesn’t know the meaning of a lie in _

He smiles and taps send, dropping the phone down onto the duvet and huffing as he pushes himself up and out of bed. He pads across to the door and down the hallway to the bathroom, deciding he may as well make a start to the day if given no other choice.

He can smell bacon frying as he makes his way down the stairs, dressed and hair drying at the nape of his neck. He plays absently with his phone as he whistles happily to himself, stopping abruptly in the doorway when he sees Adam slumped at the table as well as his sister, suddenly feeling awkward at being so cheerful when Adam looks like he hasn’t slept in days.

“Mornin’ Rob,” Vic says warmly, a smile on her lips that doesn’t quite meet her eyes. “Bacon’s still in the pan if you fancy a sarnie.”

He nods and smiles back briefly, heading over to the hob and grabbing the bread from the counter as he goes. He hears Adam and Vic talking in hushed murmurs behind him and tries to make himself as inconspicuous as possible.

“I’d better get off.” He hears Adam sigh wearily, the sound of his chair scraping on the kitchen floor. “I’ll pop by the pub and see ya on my way in to the hospital.”

“Make sure you do,” Vic says warmly, and Robert hears the sound of them kissing as Adam pushes the chair back under the table. “And don’t work yourself too hard this morning either! Otherwise I’ll be gettin’ Aaron to have a word.”

He pricks his ears up at the mention of Aaron’s name and suppresses the instinctive smile that threatens at his face. He slaps down the top layer of bread on his sandwich and cuts through the centre with a knife, turning away from the counter and pausing when he sees Vic’s expectant face staring back at him as he hears the front door close.

“Now you,” she says with a pointed, raised eyebrow. “Are you gonna spill what’s got you so cheerful? Guessing you haven’t _actually_ won the lottery as you’re still here and not on a beach in Hawaii or wherever.”

Robert shrugs and passes his plate from one hand to the other, grin still fighting to break out on his face. “Aren’t I just allowed to be happy Vic? Can’t I have gotten up in just a particularly good mood?”

Vic tilts her head and looks at him with sarcasm written all over her expression. He sighs and rolls his eyes, leaning back against the counter and resting the plate on the top of his belly.

“Things are just… looking up,” is all he says, shrugging again and smiling at his sister contentedly. “For the first time in weeks I _actually_ feel like I’m getting somewhere.”

Vic smiles back at him, her lips parting to respond, when his phone buzzes in his pocket and he holds up a hand to halt her, twisting to place the plate down and pull his phone out. He purses his lips together to hold back the beaming smile dying to break free, and swipes his thumb across the screen.

_**From: Aaron --- Received: 08:23**  
Seem to remember you was the one who always wanted to get up at the crack of dawn. You aint blaming me for this one ;)_

“And who’s that?” Vic asks; Robert can hear the teasing smile on her face without having to look at her.

“Bank,” he says coyly in reply, tapping away quickly and crossing his ankles in front of himself.

_**To: Aaron --- Sent: 08:23**  
Well it’s definitely your right hook he’s got, right little grump too ;)_

“Oh, they just checking up on your lottery win then?” 

He smirks and slips his phone back into his jeans pocket, reaching behind him for one half of his sandwich and taking a satisfied bite as he folds his arms across his waist. “Shouldn’t you be at work now Vic?”

Victoria blinks and glances down at her watch, cursing under her breath as she scrambles up from the table.

“This isn’t over!” She says, jabbing a finger in his direction as she grabs for her jacket off the back of her chair. “I’ll get it out of ya sooner or later!”

He laughs to himself as he listens to her rush for the door, it slamming closed behind her. He takes another bite from his butty and turns around, switching the kettle on as he reaches for a mug for his morning brew.

*****

After Aaron had dismissed him over Lachlan, Robert had wandered aimlessly around the village, jittery and put out, and not too sure what to do with himself.

Eventually he’d ended up at the café, and he’d ordered an Americano and had taken a seat on the sofas, attempting to answer some emails on his phone but failing miserably. In the end he’d sighed and shoved his phone back into his pocket, had stood up and moved back to the counter to order a Danish too. 

Once he’d finished his coffee and his pastry he’d headed back for his car, still at a loss as to what to do. He’d sat in the driver’s seat, staring out of the window and tapping his thumbs on the steering wheel. He’d seen Aaron in the distance, all but thundering around the garage and scowling at the engine he’d been working on, and he’d sighed, rubbing at his face and cursing himself for fucking up so badly.

He’d watched him for a few more minutes, seen Cain storm out in more of a foul mood than Aaron had appeared to be in if that was possible, and had decided he’d need to do something to try and fix the situation, unwilling to spend the next few days or weeks dancing around Aaron until he decided he’d finished sulking. 

_**To: A --- Sent: 11:42**  
Kiss and make up? _

He’d stabbed at the send button with his thumb and had tapped his phone against his lips, impatient as he’d watched the garage for any sign of Aaron or him reading the message. But Aaron had disappeared into the depths of the garage, and after 15 minutes with no response, Robert had sighed tiredly and fumbled for his keys.

As he’d slotted the keys into the ignition he’d heard his phone buzz from where he’d tossed it into the centre console. He’d reached for it with haste, swiping his thumb over the lock screen as his pulse had kicked in his throat, holding back a smirk as he’d read the message over twice.

_**From: A --- Received: 12:03**  
Fine. Meet you at the barn in 10_

*****

He’s sat watching Bargain Hunt in his pyjamas 2 days later, feet up on the coffee table and half eaten plate of toast balanced on top of his belly, when his phone chimes from underneath the pillow beside him.

_**From: Aaron --- Received: 12:41**  
You free? Or are you too busy mooning over david dickinson to do lunch?_

He feels himself flushing a little in embarrassment, wincing mentally at the fact that Aaron obviously hadn’t forgotten the time at Home Farm when he’d walked in on him mid-rant at the TV one afternoon. He catches his lower lip between his teeth and types back quickly, flicking his eyes between his phone and the TV screen, as he watches an old woman debate the merits of a lamp in the shape of a cockerel and a set of old, tarnished teaspoons.

_**To: Aaron --- Sent: 12:43**  
It’s Tim Wonnacott now, what year you in? 2003?_

_**To: Aaron --- Sent: 12:43**  
But yeah I’m free. What’s up?_

He drops the phone back down on the pillow and turns his eyes back to the screen, however he can’t help but glance back down every couple of seconds, shifting on the sofa anxiously, as he waits for a response. He doesn’t have to wait long though, and he snatches the phone back up again before it can finish chiming.

_**From: Aaron --- Received: 12:46**  
I dunno whats worse, that you actually watch bargain hunt or that you know what year david dickinson quit…_

_**From: Aaron --- Received: 12:47**  
But yeah nout up. Just wondering if you fancied the pub is all_

He smiles and taps back a reply, telling Aaron he can meet him there in half an hour. He groans as he drops his legs back down to the floor, wincing at the crack in his hip as he carelessly chucks the plate onto the coffee table, and pushes himself up to head for the stairs.

He showers and changes in record time, and finds himself pushing open the doors to The Woolpack just after 1 o’clock. To his surprise Aaron is already there, sat in the booth at the back and messing with his phone, and Robert smiles to himself as he walks over.

“Alright?” He says brightly, taking a seat opposite him as Aaron looks up, raising his brow and flashing a smile back. 

“Yeah, not too bad. Drink?” He asks, standing up and gesturing to the bar. Robert nods and shrugs out of his coat, watches as Aaron speaks to Chas at the bar, her glancing at him repeatedly over Aaron’s shoulder and scowling even as she pours out a pint.

Aaron sighs as he places their drinks down on the table, rolling his eyes as he takes a seat and slumps back into it.

“Ignore her.” He mutters, glancing back at Chas and taking a sip from his pint. “She dunno when to keep her nose out.”

Robert sees Chas continue to look at them, staring at them in short, alarmed bursts as she serves a customer. He sighs through his nose heavily, and turns his head towards Aaron, sending him a small smile.

“So… what’s the occasion?” He says, picking up his drink and gesturing with it at Aaron’s. Aaron shrugs and pulls a dismissive face, but he looks at Robert with warm eyes and toys with his glass.

“Nothin’. We said we was gonna work at being mates, mates go to the pub and have a pint.” He answers casually, before glancing down at Robert’s drink and tilting his head to the side with a smirk. “Well in your case pints of orange juice, but point still stands.”

Robert huffs and rolls his eyes, drinking from his glass. He swallows as Aaron leans back against the back of the booth, his legs slightly splayed as he watches Robert with a smirk.

“You ever think about branchin’ out?” He teases, nodding at Robert’s glass and folding his arms across his chest. “Goin’ crazy and having an apple juice or summat?”

“Apple juice makes me sick. Trust me, found that out the hard way.” Robert answers, settling into his seat himself and raising his brows. Aaron frowns and peers at him curiously.

“Thought mornin’ sickness went away after a few weeks?” Robert scoffs and shakes his head.

“Yeah right. And they’re wrong about the morning too. It’s all day, evenin’, _and_ night time sickness.” 

Aaron winces and rubs at his jaw. “That bad?”

Robert nods and rests one hand on the top of his belly, grimacing a little as he thinks back to those first couple of weeks, his knees pressed against the tiles in the en-suite and nausea in his stomach. “Yeah, was pretty grim. Don’t get it so much now, just certain things set it off.”

Aaron nods and bites at his lip, reaches for his pint and lifts it to his mouth as he winks. “Better stick with orange juice then aye?”

Robert smiles and nods too, stretches his legs out under the table, the toe of his shoe touching Aaron’s. They fall into a comfortable quiet, Aaron slowly supping at his pint and Robert idly playing with a beer mat. Aaron places his glass down eventually and shifts to sit further forward, resting his arms on the edge of the table and pulling the sleeves of his hoodie down over his hands.

“How’s Vic by the way?” He asks softly, his tone concerned and earnest and for a moment Robert blinks in surprise, it being easy to forget sometimes that Vic and Aaron have a whole relationship outside of him. “She keeps sayin’ she’s alright when I see her, but Adam’s been a wreck so I know it’s gotta be hard on her.”

Robert clears his throat and folds his arms around his waist, thinning his lips as he sighs. “She’s… Vic. Puttin’ on a brave face, trying to keep positive and support Adam. She’s doing better than she was though, was tough on her the first couple of days when he was really ill.”

Aaron nods, sucking at his lower lip and twisting his hoodie sleeves between his fingers. “Adam showed me some pictures of him. He’s proper tiny, never seen a baby that small before.”

“Yeah well hopefully you won’t see one that small for a long time either,” he says with nervous sigh, rubbing his hand automatically over his stomach, and fighting to quash the sudden burst of anxiety that rushes through him and makes him shiver. “This one isn’t allowed out until after New Year, I’ve already told him.”

Aaron smiles and picks up his drink, raising an eyebrow as he nods at Robert. “S’long as he doesn’t decide he wants out on my birthday, that’s fine with me.”

“What? Don’t fancy spendin’ the day with me in a hospital room?” Robert grins, his expression turning into one of mock offence as Aaron rolls his eyes. “I should be offended!”

Aaron laughs into his pint and Robert bites at his lip, continues to rub at his belly as the baby moves, stretches and kicks it’s legs. He pauses, and thinks about asking Aaron if he wants to come around to sit beside him, if he wants to feel their baby moving, properly this time, not just a fleeting few seconds of first kicks – but footsteps sound up beside their table, and he turns his head sharply to look at the intruder before he gets chance to ask.

“So, this looks cosy!” Vic says, a pleased smile pulling at her mouth despite the dark circles under her eyes. “Is this why you blew me off this mornin’ Rob, when I asked if you wanted to go to the café for lunch?”

Aaron raises an eyebrow at him at that and Robert clears his throat, shuffling in his seat and shrugging nonchalantly. 

“Actually, I was planning on spending the day sat on the sofa in my pyjamas, but he baited me into it.” He answers, nodding and pointing across to Aaron who huffs in amusement and drinks from his pint.

“Mate I was doin’ you a favour, saving ya from Deal or No Deal or whatever it was you had planned until Come Dine With Me comes on.”

“Aww.” Vic coos and Robert sighs, rubbing at his forehead in embarrassment. “Even _he_ knows about your obsession with Come Dine With Me! D’y’know he records them? Drives Adam _mental_ when he – ”

“Aren’t you supposed to be workin’ Vic?” He cuts her off, nodding pointedly towards the bar and where Chas is once again looking at them all, her arms folded and expression extremely unimpressed. Vic sighs and raises her hands up defensively.

“Alright, alright, I’ll leave you both to it. Just y’know have _fun_ ,” she says, winking at Robert purposely and smiling. “And I’ll see _you_ later!” She continues, patting Robert on the shoulder with emphasis before all but skipping off back towards the kitchen. Robert groans softly and rubs at one eye, looking over at Aaron cautiously.

“Sorry ‘bout her, she just, y’know, puts 2 and 2 together – ”

“It’s fine,” Aaron says with a shrug, and Robert peers at him in surprise when he sees that Aaron really isn’t bothered by the implication, is truly nonplussed. “I know what Vic’s like. S’you I feel sorry for, you’re the one who’s gonna get the third degree off her later.”

He sighs and nods his head in agreement, small smile pulling at his lips. Aaron smiles back and finishes off the rest of his pint, standing up from the table with a smirk. 

“So… you wanna get food? Or d’you have some other shit daytime tv programme you need to get back for?”

Robert rolls his eyes but laughs softly, shaking his head and licking at his lower lip as he peers up at Aaron from under his lashes, warmth spreading through his chest.

“Nope. Not missing anythin’. I’m all yours for the afternoon. Promise.”

*****

He’s walking down the stairs, towel drying his hair after a shower, when Vic gets in, the door closing loudly behind her.

“Robert!” She all but shouts, startling a little as she turns around and sees him stood so close. She exhales heavily and holds a hand to her chest, looking up at him wide eyes. 

“Jesus! You almost gave me a heart attack!” She half laughs, stepping back and unzipping her coat to hang it up on the hooks. He lowers the towel down from his head and Vic tries to hold back as smile as she turns back around, folding her arms around her waist and raising an eyebrow. He sighs and closes his eyes, knowing exactly what is coming.

“Sooo…” She drawls, tilting her head a little and rocking on her toes. “You and Aaron…?”

“Are mates,” he says with finality, shrugging dismissively and moving into the living room. “That’s it.”

“Oh Robert, come on!” She whines, following him in to the room like he knew she would but hoped wouldn’t. “I know what I saw earlier, and I _know_ it’s him who’s put that smile on ya face all week. You can’t tell me that you’re ‘just friends’?!”

“Well we are.” He shrugs again, sitting down slowly on the sofa and stretching his legs out. “We talked the other day. Decided that we were going to be civil, and be friends for the baby’s sake. That’s all.”

“And is that what you want?” Vic asks, and Robert can hear the frown on her brow in her voice as she moves to sit beside him. “Just mates? Nothin’ else?”

He sighs and plays with the towel between his fingers, pulling at a frayed edge and rubbing one hand at his face. “What I want doesn’t matter though does it? It’s about what’s best for our son, and right now us being together, it’s not the right thing to do. He needs to come first. Not me and what I want.”

Vic smiles at him sadly and he swallows, screwing the towel up into a ball in his lap.

“Just never say never though yeah?” She says encouragingly, pressing her hand against his upper arm and rubbing comfortingly. “You love him, and Aaron… he loves you too right? He must do, I know Aaron and he must have felt something, no offence but he wouldn’t have gone along with it for so long if he didn’t.”

He sighs again and leans his head back on the sofa cushion, tipping it to the side to look at her with a tight jaw. “Whatever he feels, I don’t think it matters anymore. I hurt him, a lot, and I don’t blame him for wanting to keep a distance.”

Vic smiles sadly and squeezes his shoulder before dropping her hand down into her lap. “Maybe. But y’know, in a few weeks if you’re still talking and things are still goin’ well, then maybe he might see things a little differently.”

She pushes herself up to stand and Robert rubs his thumb over the material of the towel thoughtfully, thinks about Aaron earlier, how soft his face had looked at times as they’d talked, how keen he’d seemed when they’d talked about the baby.

“Now what would you say to a brew?” She asks, turning back to look at him and clapping her hands together. “I made some Angel Slices too yesterday and I _know_ how much you love those.”

He nods and smiles small and thankful, more than grateful for Vic and her sheer persistence at trying to cheer him up. He settles back in his seat and lets his eyes fall closed, listens to Vic bang about in the kitchen, the sound of the kettle boiling and mugs clanging on the counter tops.

*****

After his mum had died he’d had nightmares almost every night.

It’d always been the same one, his mum screaming, sobbing and crying. The fire raging on and on, burning orange and yellow against the black of a never-ending sky. And he’d always been there, stood on the sidelines and shouting back, never able to reach her, never able to _save her_ like he should have been able to.

He’d always woke in a cold sweat, shaking and trembling, unable to settle and on the verge of tears. On the nights it had been worst, he’d curl up on his side under the blankets with the bedside lamp brightening up the room and read, read until the scorch of the flames became nothing more than a whisper of smoke, until the light of the Sun had shone through the thin curtains pulled across the window. 

And in the morning he’d switch of the lamps and put the books away, would get dressed for school and pretend that he was doing okay, because he’d needed to be. He’d had Victoria, his dad and the farm to think about.

*****

He’s moving his clothes around, sorting them into piles of ‘still just about fits’ and ‘there is no chance right now’, when he comes to the realisation that he’ll need to find a place of his own, and sharpish.

Vic hasn’t said anything to him about it, him staying once the baby is born, and despite her silence about the matter he knows she would tell him that he is welcome to stay as long as he wants; but looking around the room – at his small single bed and compact wardrobe shoved in the corner, stacks of boxes still unpacked with the rest of his belongings from Home Farm – he knows that trying to bring up a baby in a space so tiny, and especially a newborn, would be horrendously impractical. 

He finishes sorting his clothes, packing them all away into what little space he has, and heads down the stairs for the living room, grabbing his laptop from his bag and balancing it on his lap as he sits on the sofa.

He browses through estate agent’s websites, bookmarking a few potential properties that would be big enough for the 2 of them, but he sees nothing that takes his fancy, everything he quickly realises, further away from the village than he would want. The sentiment surprises him a little, he’d always been certain that given half the chance he’d leave Emmerdale again without a second thought, but now when given the opportunity he finds himself reluctant to move away, to leave Vic and Diane, to leave Aaron, and he sighs as he scrolls through the pages half-heartedly.

The front door closes loudly and he hears the quiet murmur of Vic and Adam talking in the hallway, he clicks on through to the next page of houses and looks up when they walk through the door still chatting amongst themselves.

“Rob!” Vic says brightly, shrugging out of her hoodie and folding it over the back of the armchair. “Thought you might have gone out.”

He frowns as them both and closes the lid on his laptop, shuffling forward in his seat to lean over and place it down on the coffee table. “Why?”

“Aaron buggered off early,” Adam says, moving into the room and dropping down into the chair with a sigh. “Vic thought he might be with you.”

Robert shakes his head and leans back again into the sofa, resting one hand on the top of his belly, a small pang of _something_ fluttering through his chest at the thought that Aaron might have gone out, to Hotten maybe, Bar West, maybe to meet a bloke. “No, not spoke to him for a couple of days actually. No idea where he is.”

Adam shrugs and Vic asks them both if they’d like a drink, before heading off to the kitchen. Robert glances around the room, feeling a little awkward now it’s just himself and Adam left alone. For the most part they’d stayed out of each other’s way since he’d moved in, Adam very much loyal to Aaron and he hadn’t been quiet about it. But since he and Aaron had turned over a new leaf, Adam had had no choice but to back down, however he’d been spending so much time at the hospital with Vanessa and the baby that Robert had barely seen him anyway. 

“How’s Johnny?” He asks eventually, after they had sat for several minutes in uncomfortable silence. “Vic said he’s doing better?”

“Yeah, yeah.” Adam nods, folding his arms over his waist as he slouches in the chair. “He’s doin’ alright. Proper little fighter, dunno where he gets it from.”

Robert smiles weakly and rubs absently at his stomach, clearing his throat as he pushes himself up a little higher in his seat. “That’s good, I’m glad. Have they said when they think he’ll be able to come home yet?

“Few more weeks they think.” Adam sighs, scuffling his foot into the carpet and scratching at his jumper covered bicep. “He’s still strugglin’ to breathe on his own, so they’re waiting for that and then see how he goes. He’s good though, got to hold him for the first time the other day. Never felt anythin’ like it Rob, it was just… amazin’.”

Robert pauses his hand, his palm cupping around the side of the bump as he lets his thoughts drift, allows them wander to the first time he’ll get to hold _his_ baby, that he’ll get to see what he looks like, cradle him in his arms and not let him go. He thinks of Aaron beside him, of Aaron’s soft face and warm blue eyes as he sees their son, their little boy – 

“Must have been weird for ya.” Adam’s voice interrupts his thoughts, and he blinks turning his head back towards him.

“What must’ve been?” He asks with a small frown of confusion. Adam shrugs once lazily and rests one forearm along the arm of the chair.

“Just y’know, hearin’ about Johnny and that. Aaron asks about him, but I can see it on his face that it bothers him.”

Robert pauses, swallowing as he thinks back to that first day, when Vic had called him from the hospital in tears. He’d almost felt guilty that all he’d been able to think about that whole night was his own child, about if it had been him instead.

“Yeah, it was a bit,” he says lowly, shifting uncomfortably. “You can’t help but worry can you? And well, how you feel about Johnny, is how I feel about him.” He continues, nodding down to the bump and placing his hand over it once more. “You just want what’s best for ‘em. Want them to be okay.”

Adam nods solemnly in agreement, and Vic chooses that moment to re-enter with 3 mugs clutched in her hands. She smiles at them both and hands out the teas, before taking a seat down beside Robert and looking at him proudly. 

“How do we both feel about Chinese for tea?” She says, glancing between them again and resting her mug down on the coffee table in front of her. “Because I don’t know about you, but I could _kill_ for some spring rolls and sweet and sour chicken.”

*****

He’s leaving David’s shop – bag full of spaghetti, Bolognese sauce and a pint of milk in his hand – when he sees her, climbing out of her Range Rover and hesitantly heading towards the café. He pauses when he first notices her, uncertain if he should say something or just carry on, but he sees her rumpled hair and gaunt face and finds himself wandering over before he gives it a second thought.

“Chrissie,” he says, walking across the road and striding quickly to catch her. “Chrissie, wait.”

He hears her sigh audibly, but she stops nonetheless, turning on her heels and looking at him with pursed lips. Her eyes are dark and weary, and Robert slows his steps as she glares at him. “What do you want Robert?”

He hesitates, looking down at the ground for a second before meeting her eyes again and clearing his throat. “I just… wanted to see how you are. I heard, that the police are pressing charges.”

She scoffs and shakes her head, pressing her fingers against her temple. “So what? You’ve come to gloat is that it?”

“No!” He shakes his head, moving the bag from one hand to the other. “No I haven’t. Chrissie – I know I did something unforgivable, and I know that I’m probably the last person you want to see, but I do care about you.”

She wraps her arms around her waist and stares back with resentment, her jaw tight and cheekbones harsh as she clenches her teeth.

“Well you have a funny way of showing it.” She snaps back, leaning a little closer into his personal space. “Did you think about how much you _cared_ about me when you were with Aaron all those times? Because somehow I think I barely crossed your mind.”

He looks away guiltily and licks at his lower lip, awash with shame as he feels Chrissie’s gaze continue to burn into the side of his head. He exhales slowly and nods once, lifting his head and holding his shoulders firm as he steels himself, readies himself for what he knows will not be an easy conversation to work through.

“You’re right,” he says thickly, clearing his throat again and meeting her eyes, seeing the fleeting blink of surprise there at his admission. “I didn’t think – well no, I _did_ but I convinced myself it didn’t mean anything, so it didn’t matter.”

“So you admit it then?” She answers, her tone a shaky mix of anger and upset, her eyes are hard, but he can see the blue of her irises shimmer. “You loved him?”

He swallows, feeling that same flicker of anxiety that always burns when confronted with questions about his sexuality, the urge to deny still strong even though he wants to do better, _be_ better for himself.

“Yeah.” He chokes out, rough and trembling even as he feels a weight being lifted from himself, relief singing in his blood. “And I still do.”

He sees Chrissie deflate visibly, her shoulders curling in and chin trembling as she bites at her lip, turning her eyes away and pressing her fingers to her mouth. She inhales hard and breathes out slowly, and Robert feels the guilt at hurting her all over again settle like a stone. 

“Well at least you admit it.” She spits, but Robert can hear no malice behind her words, just sadness and pain, and he feels the stone of guilt grow into a rock.

“I’m sorry,” he says truthfully, running his eyes over her pinched face, tears beginning to well in her eyes. “And I know that it’ll never be enough, but I never meant to hurt you Chrissie, I never meant for this to happen. Aaron, the baby – it was never part of a plan, I swear.”

She nods, something small and fragile, and wipes at her cheeks with trembling hands. He sees her glance down at his stomach and wince, looking away quickly and taking a step back. 

“I need to go,” she says brokenly, pulling her keys from her handbag and turning from him hurriedly. “There’s some things I need to do.”

He nods subdued and watches as she rushes back for her car, slamming the door and turning on the ignition. He stands and watches, bag still in hand, as she drives away for the top of the village, the glimpse of white the only thing he sees as she disappears of into the distance of the country lanes, and back to Home Farm once again.

*****

Chrissie had been devastated about the theft of her mother’s ring and he’d felt a stab of guilt about it as she’d cried about it on his shoulder.

He really should have gone straight to the culprit, it obviously being no one else other than Ross Barton; but for some reason his gut had told him to go after his little mate instead. His behaviour during the day before had been _unusual_ for someone with seemingly no guilt about stealing someone else’s car, especially when the person in question was a _Dingle_. It’d piqued his interest, and had left him wanting to niggle away at the hard exterior, see what he could find underneath.

He’d seen Aaron a couple of hours later in the pub – supping on a pint and messing with his phone – as he’d sat at the bar with Vic and Diane. He’d watched Aaron from the corner of his eye, chatting on autopilot with his sister until he’s seen Aaron stand and head for the doors. He’d then made his excuse to go and use the toilet and had followed Aaron out of the room.

He’d been stood at the sink when Robert had pushed the toilet door open, and he’d folded his hands into his trouser pockets as he’d wandered inside, trying to make himself look as no-nonsense as possible. 

“Thought you’d be playing the big hero?” Aaron had muttered, drying off his hands before turning to look back at him. Robert had scowled, stepping in towards him and straightening his shoulders.

“Yeah well I would, but you took it too far. Chrissie’s mother’s ring is gone, her jewellery was off limits.”

“You wanted it to look real yeah?” Aaron had shrugged, pulling a disinterested face. Robert had frowned harder, feeling irritation well up inside him at Aaron’s nonchalance.

“Just sort it! Get your little mate Ross to give it back, I’m not askin’ twice.” He’d snapped, jaw clenched as he’d stared Aaron down. Aaron had rolled his eyes and sighed.

“Whatever, I’m done here.” He’d grumbled under his breath, pushing past Robert and barging into his shoulder. Robert had turned on his heel and glared at Aaron’s back, feeling a mix of anger and annoyance.

“You’re done when I say you’re done!” He’d shouted as the door had slammed shut behind him, and he’d fumed silently as he’d made his way back out into the pub to re-join Vic, smiling at her with force as she’d picked up the conversation exactly where she’d left it.

Later when he’d been sat at a table eating his lunch, Aaron had placed the ring down on the table with a snarkiness Robert had been coming to quickly realise was his default setting; and as Aaron had turned away with a sarcastic smile, Robert had felt a kick in his chest that was as far away from anger as possible.

*****

It’s the pain that wakes him.

It throbs, burning between his hips and over his stomach; pulls at him, yanking, as if wanting to tear his insides from his body. He gasps loudly as he curls into himself, clutching at his belly as it grows tight under his hands and _squeezes_ like a vice. Slick runs between his thighs at the sensation, turning his skin sticky and warm, and he pushes himself up weakly onto one elbow despite the pain that still grasps him. 

His breathing is heavy as he reaches for the edge of the duvet with a shaking hand, and he carefully peels back the covers until he sees it – the stain of deep crimson blooming across his pyjama bottoms and sheets.

“No.” He whispers, panting as he stares wide eyed at the mess on the bed, the blood darkening his inner thighs. “No. _Nononono_.”

He shoves at the covers and presses a hand to his stomach, clutching desperately at the bump as he shuffles to the edge of the bed. The pain stabs through him once again as he pushes up from the mattress, and he cries out as he drops to the floor like a stone. 

He pants and digs his fingers into the carpet; blood smearing from his palms onto the cream and turning the strands vivid red. He feels the ache between his thighs intensify and he buries a scream into the back of his hand. His body convulses and he sobs, he sobs and sobs, cries brokenly as the pressure, the _pressure_ builds and builds and builds and – 

He jolts awake with a shout, heart pounding in his chest as he lurches upwards in the bed and grabs for his belly with both hands.

He scrabbles his fingers madly over the soaking cotton of his t-shirt, and shoves back the duvet panicked as his breaths rattle in his chest. He reaches clumsily for the lamp on his bedside table, and blinks wide eyed between his legs when the light switches on at his touch.

There’s nothing. Nothing at all. Not even a spot or a speck of blood.

He slumps exhausted against the pillows at the sight, and buries his face into his hands, skin sweat damp and clammy. His stomach turns, sick with adrenaline, and he finds himself having to hold back on a sob as his body shakes uncontrollably. 

It’d felt real, the pain. So real he could still feel the phantom clench of his stomach, the singing of his skin as it had burnt with it. 

He inhales a trembling breath, and drops his palms down into his lap as he exhales it back out through his nose. The baby kicks him hard just below his rib out of nowhere, and the swooping sensation of sheer relief has him choke on a startled laugh.

His son is still there, still moving and still bruising his internal organs for fun. Still perfectly safe and _exactly_ where he should be. 

He reaches for the hem of his shirt and pushes it up until it bunches underneath his arm pits, exposing his stomach to the cool night air and making him shiver. 

The bump is large now, rising up between his hips, and curving his once toned waist out and round. The sight of his body so stretched and warped would have once left him appalled and sulking, but now it provides him with nothing but comfort in the knowledge that his son is okay and healthy and still _here_ ; living and growing and curling his tiny toes. He sighs heavily, and closes his eyes as he lifts his hands to rub slow circles into his skin, his touch careful and reassuring for both himself and hopefully the grouchy baby inside. 

“Everything’s fine,” he says under his breath, his hand continuing to circle his skin as the baby wiggles and stretches under his palm. “Shh, everything’s fine. You’re safe, I promise.”

And as the baby begins to settle again he tries to settle himself, switching the lamp back off and curling back under the covers. But as the sky begins to lighten behind the curtains and he hears the birds begin to sing, he resigns himself to a sleepless night and pulls open the drawer to his bedside table. He grabs the first book he finds – a battered copy of Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone – and flicks open to the first page, slumping back into the pillows with a tired sigh.

*****

He finds himself outside the café just as Bob is turning over the ‘Closed’ sign to ‘Open’.

“You’re up bright and early!” Bob chirps at him, grinning and much too awake for 8:00am on a drizzly Friday morning. “Seize the day and all that is it?”

“Something like that.” He mutters in response, ducking inside when Bob opens the door again and gestures him in towards the counter. “Can I get an Americano? But with an extra shot of Espresso? To take out.”

Bob raises an eyebrow but reaches for a paper cup and switches on the coffee machine. Robert sighs and slides his hand into his jeans pocket, pulling out his wallet. The bell above the door chimes as he riffles through the assortment of receipts and business cards for a fiver, and he sees Bob turn to look at the newcomer with a smile on his face.

“You know it’s gonna be a good day when you get 2 in before school run starts! What can I get for you Aaron?”

Robert looks up sharply and turns his head as Aaron steps up next to his shoulder.

“Er Latte please Bob,” Aaron says with a nod, his hands firmly wedged in his hoodie pockets. “And a bacon butty to take out.”

“Coming right up!” Bob answers with a wink and a nod. Aaron flashes a small smile in reply before turning to lean against the counter, Robert twitches his mouth in greeting and he watches as Aaron’s smile falls to a concerned frown almost immediately.

“You alright?” Aaron asks, his tone worried as his gaze flickers anxiously over Robert’s face, and not so subtly down around his middle. “You don’t look great.”

Robert huffs tiredly and folds his wallet back up to shove in his pocket. “Thanks.” He jokes, looking at Aaron from under his lashes. “You sure know how to flatter a bloke.”

Aaron rolls his eyes with a sigh, and folds his arms across his chest. “Robert – ”

“One Americano with an extra shot of Espresso.” Bob interrupts, placing Robert’s drink down on the counter top. Robert smiles briefly in thanks, and passes over the fiver as he picks up his paper cup with his free hand. He sees Aaron shift in the corner of his eye as he takes a sip of his coffee, his bones almost singing in relief at the rush of caffeine.

“You sure you should be drinking that?” Aaron says, frown fixed once again to his brow. Robert shrugs and lowers his cup, accepting the change from Bob with a nod.

“Probably not,” he says with a sigh. “But it’s the only thing that’s gonna get me through the day right now.”

“Has somethin’ happened?” Aaron asks, straightening up from the counter and stepping minutely closer to Robert’s side. “Is everythin’ alright with the baby?”

“The baby’s fine.” He answers quickly, clearing his throat when a residual flare of _panic_ wells up inside his chest. “Just, y’know, had a long night, he likes to keep punching my kidneys.”

Aaron winces and shuffles on the spot. “Sounds painful. As long as you’re alright though?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Robert nods earnestly, cupping both hands around his drink and flicking at the plastic lid with his thumbnail. “Anyway, what you doing about so early? Adam ‘volunteer’ you for a job in Glasgow again?”

Aaron rolls his eyes again with a sigh and Robert smirks.

“No, thankfully,” Aaron says with a half smile and a raised eyebrow. “But the drayman decided to show up at half 7, and me mum decided I was the one who was gonna have to help with the delivery.” 

“Perks of being the landlady’s son aye?” Robert grins, feeling better already with just a cup of coffee in hand and Aaron’s soft face looking at him with warm eyes. Aaron snorts and shakes his head, scratching absently at his beard.

“Yeah. That along with the odd out of date packet of crisps she can’t flog anymore.”

Robert laughs once and Aaron smiles back at him. Robert bites at his lip, tapping his fingers against the side of his cup considering as he takes a step closer to Aaron, noting with pleasure the way Aaron’s eyes darken as he glances down to his mouth.

“One Latte and one _sensational_ bacon butty!” Bob announces loudly, placing both down with a flourish onto the counter top. Aaron jumps a little and turns quickly to face Bob, fumbling in his pocket for change; Robert watches him with amusement, and buries his free hand in his jacket pocket as he rocks on his heels.

“Ta,” Aaron says with a nod towards Bob, picking up his coffee and the paper bag. He turns back towards Robert and sips quickly at his drink, Robert licks at his lower lip and feels himself sway in closer at the flicker in Aaron’s eyes.

“Are you ah – are you doing anything? Tomorrow I mean.” He asks tentatively, watching Aaron’s face carefully as he lowers his cup down from his mouth. Aaron adjusts his grip on his coffee and shrugs one shoulder lazily, the corner of his lip twitching.

“Not really. Adam’s doin’ the morning shift ‘cause he owes me one. Why?”

Robert clears his throat and glances nonchalantly around the room, briefly skims his gaze over Bob prepping sandwiches as he whistles along to the radio from across the counter. 

“Well I was thinkin’ about going somewhere. Getting out of here for a few hours y’know?” He says, turning his eyes back to Aaron with a shrug. “Wondered if you fancied it is all?”

Aaron sucks his lower lip between his teeth and to Robert’s relief, nods his head once, a smile quirking at his mouth as he lets go of his lip.

“Yeah. Yeah alright, got nout else on. Where you thinkin’ of goin’?”

“Dunno yet,” he says with a half laugh, holding back a wide grin when Aaron rolls his eyes exasperated. “I’ll have a think right? Pick me up at half 8 tomorrow morning and we’ll go.”

Aaron raises an eyebrow at that and shifts on his feet, paper bag crinkling in his hand as he moves his fingers.

“That how it is yeah?” Aaron asks, voice a soft tease as he inches a little closer. “ _You_ invite _me_ out, but it’s me who’s got to do the drivin’?”

“Well, don’t have a car do I?” Robert smirks, his grin widening when he sees Aaron shake his head, a reluctantly fond expression on his face. 

“Yeah okay, fine,” Aaron says, suppressing a smile as he looks at Robert warmly and nods his head. “Guess I’ll see ya tomorrow then.”

He turns away at that and heads for the door; Robert catches him glancing briefly back at him over his shoulder and tries to reign in the grin threatening to pull at his mouth.

“Yeah,” he says softly, catching his bottom lip between his teeth. “Yeah you will.”

*****

Aaron had text him to tell him that the portacabin was arriving that morning and he’d taken that as his excuse to show up at the yard first thing.

“‘S’not here yet,” Aaron had said as he’d strolled over, Robert rolling down the window on his car and leaning back in his seat.

“Yeah ‘cause I’ve come to see a grotty portacabin get delivered.” He’d smirked, peering up at Aaron and biting his lip as Aaron had rolled his eyes.

“What d’ya want then?” Aaron had huffed, but Robert had been able to see the slight smile on his face, like he’d known exactly why Robert had shown up. Robert had shifted in his seat, stretching his arms out as his fingers had splayed across the steering wheel.

“I’ve got a meeting in Leeds.” He’d answered slowly, looking up at Aaron with wide eyes. “Thought you could meet me after, I’ve booked a hotel room.”

Aaron had pulled a thoughtful face, his lower lip all but a pout, and he’d shrugged again, his hands buried deep in his hoodie pockets.

“Alright,” he’d said, voice a little gruff, but Robert had seen the slight sparkle in his eye, the brightness that had shown that underneath his grumpy exterior he’d been looking forward to it. Robert had licked his lower lip and had smirked again, feeling a flush of anticipation of what quite obviously was to come, and in a real bed too.

“I’ll text you.” He’d murmured, and Aaron had nodded, stepping away as Robert had put the car back into gear and had started to drive away. As he’d headed out through the country lanes and towards the motorway, he’d grinned to himself, shifting in his seat as a thrum of pure want and _wanting_ had settled low in his belly.

*****

Aaron’s Polo is parked outside at 8:47, and Robert shakes his head fondly as he wanders down the path from the house and out onto the street.

“You’re late,” he says pointedly as Aaron winds down the window of the car, a white puff of chilled air a visible sign of Aaron’s sigh as he rolls his eyes. 

“Yeah well it’s Saturday innit? _Normal_ people are still in bed right now.”

Robert grins and buries his chilled hands in his jeans pockets, ducking his head down to better meet Aaron’s eyes through the window. 

“Normal’s boring though.” He shrugs, scanning his eyes over what he can see of him through the gap. He looks good, still sleep rumpled and hair not as glued down to his scalp as usual, it makes Robert’s stomach flutter and he bites at his lip. “I’m mean who’d actually _want_ to be normal?”

Aaron rolls his eyes again despite the smile on his mouth, and shifts in his seat, one hand still clutching at the steering wheel.

“You plannin’ on getting in any time today?” He says with a raised eyebrow. “Only it’s brass monkeys out there and you’re makin’ me let the heat out.”

Robert snorts and finds his own brows raised towards his hairline amused.

“Alright Grandad.” He smirks, heading around the car towards the passenger’s side and opening the door. He slides in carefully, overly conscious of how much lower Aaron’s car seems now that his back protests almost every movement he makes. “You got a packet of Werther’s tucked away in here somewhere too?”

“You know I could just kick you out right now yeah?” Aaron answers, faintest hint of a smile twitching at his lips. Robert grins and settles back into his seat, clipping the belt into place and turning to face him.

“But then you’d never know where I was gonna take ya.” He teases, winking as Aaron sighs and pulls a face, putting the car into gear and slowly pulling away.

“And where is that exactly anyway?” Aaron asks, leaning across the console to mess with the radio briefly, switching the station over to Radio 1 and off his Spotify stream. Robert reaches into his pocket for his phone and opens Google maps with a smile, tapping in the postcode and turning up the volume as he syncs with Aaron’s dodgy, installed Bluetooth system.

“Secret,” he says, laughing quietly when he hears Aaron’s exasperated huff. “Look just follow the directions, you should be able to work it out soon enough.”

Aaron grumbles under his breath, but does as the Sat Nav says and turns right out the top of the village. Robert makes himself as comfortable as possible, curling one palm lazily over the crest of his stomach as he leans his head back against the rest. Aaron taps his fingers absently against the steering wheel, in time with the generic pop song on the radio, and Robert smiles softly, unable to tear his gaze away from the warm glow of the sunrise bathing gold across Aaron’s skin.

*****

The make it halfway down the M61 before he hears Aaron groan, and sees him rub at his face with a sigh from the corner of his eye.

“Blackpool? Seriously?” He gripes with realisation, as they pass another road sign counting down the miles. He looks at Robert quickly before returning his gaze to the road ahead. “You couldn’t think of _anywhere_ else?”

Robert frowns, and drags his gaze away from the window to look at the side of Aaron’s head curiously. “What’s wrong with Blackpool?”

“Er, everything?” Aaron snorts, indicating to pull out into the middle lane as he puts his foot down on the accelerator. “Talk about grim places of the North…”

“It’s not _that_ bad.” Robert sighs, shuffling in his seat as his back begins to ache with being stuck in the same position for over an hour. “Especially not at this time of year, got the Illuminations on and all that.”

“You do know that they finished like 2 weeks ago right?” Aaron replies pointedly. Robert frowns once more and grabs his phone from the cup holder he’d awkwardly wedged it into. He quickly types away into Google before sighing at the result on his screen.

“Shit.” He mutters defeated; he hears Aaron laugh once beside him and purses his lips as he continues to scroll down through the information on the website, pausing eventually on the small box at the bottom and smiling widely.

“We’re in luck though,” he says brightly, glancing back over towards Aaron as Aaron peers over at him questioningly. “Christmas lights switch on is today.”

Aaron groans again and let’s go of the wheel with one hand to rub tiredly at his eyes. “Oh great, so crowds of people and a load of traffic, can’t wait.”

“Are you always such a Scrooge?” Robert laughs, turning a little in his seat and running his eyes over Aaron’s face, lingering on the small furrow of concentration in his brow and the curved slope of his nose. He watches as Aaron twists his mouth at the comment and adjusts his grip on the steering wheel. 

“Only when I get dragged out of bed at 8 o’clock in the morning to drive to fucking _Blackpool_.” He answers with a grumble, but the repressed smile on his lips gives him away. Robert smirks and shuffles again in his seat, teasing reply on the tip of his tongue, but the baby kicks sharply at his lower rib and he hisses through his teeth, pressing a palm against his waist.

“You okay?” Aaron asks worriedly, glancing repeatedly over towards him, wide eyed and concerned. Robert nods, exhaling a breath as he laughs lightly, and begins to rub small circles over the material of his jumper.

“Yeah, yeah I’m fine. Seems like your son agrees with you though.”

Aaron’s expression settles and his eyes flicker with warmth, small smile tugging at his mouth. The look on his face makes something flutter in Robert’s chest and he bites at his lip to hold back on the beaming smile that threatens to burst out.

“Yeah well he’s a smart one in’t he?” Aaron murmurs softly, signalling to pull off onto the slip road and off the motorway.

They arrive in the centre of Blackpool shortly after, Aaron pulling up at a car park not too far from the sea front. Robert moans with pleasure as he slides out of the car, back cracking deliciously as he stretches out from his curled up position in the seat. 

“Right, so what’s the plan?” Aaron asks, closing his door and clicking the lock button on his keys. Robert turns towards him and flashes him a grin, burying his hands into his coat pockets and hunching down against the early morning chill.

“Go to the seafront, have a wander. Maybe try and grab a donkey ride.”

Aaron rolls his eyes and shakes his head. He walks around the car to Robert’s side and nudges him playfully in the arm.

“C’mon then.” He sighs, adjusting the zip on his hoodie and looking at Robert from under his lashes. Robert makes to step forward and Aaron holds out a hand against his chest with a raised eyebrow, keeping him back. 

“But before we do anythin’,” he says, eyes wide and innocent and bright blue in the morning sunshine. “Least you can do is buy me breakfast. Pretty sure I saw a Wetherspoon’s back there.”

*****

He’d gotten to the hotel sooner than expected, and as he’d waited in the room he’d helped himself to a beer for the mini bar just for something to do.

He’d texted Aaron as promised that afternoon, had sent him over the hotel name and room number and Aaron had replied ‘ok’ in his usual blunt way. He’d said the bus would be there for 6pm but as the clock on his phone had ticked over to 6:15 Robert had grown more restless than before, sighing and huffing as he’d wandered around the room, swigging from his beer and trying to pay attention to what had been said on the news.

Just before 6:30 there had been a knock at the door and Robert had all but rushed for it, trying to straighten himself out before he’d gotten there, his shirt crumpled slightly and buttons loose from when he’d tried to settle himself on the bed and just _relax_.

“Funny lookin’ 6 o’clock,” he’d said as he’d stepped aside, allowing Aaron in as he’d closed the door. Aaron had sighed irritable and had dropped his rucksack to the floor at the end of the bed.

“Crash on the dual carriageway weren’t there.” He’d answered grumpily, turning to face Robert and rubbing his hand through the back of his hair. “Closed off 1 of the lanes for basically nothin’.”

Robert had winced in sympathy and had ducked down to grab another beer from the fridge, popping the cap off with a bottle opener he’d found in one of the drawers. 

“Here,” he’d said, passing Aaron the bottle over, and smirking as he’d stepped closer into his personal space, Aaron’s scent heavy and so overly masculine after a hard day of setting up at the yard. “We’re celebrating.”

Aaron had raised and eyebrow and had all but knocked back half the bottle in one go. Robert had huffed and bent down to place his own bottle down on the coffee table, before stepping in closer still and curling his hands around Aaron’s hips, as Aaron had lowered his beer with a slight gasp.

“You wanna go easy on that?” Robert had laughed lightly, nodding at what remained of Aaron’s drink, the condensation still running down the sides. “Got plans for you and you’ll be no use if you pass out off ya face.”

Aaron had snorted and rolled his eyes, but his mouth had pulled into a smirk and his eyes had been all but shining. “Trust me mate, take more than this to get me on the floor.”

“Oh really?” Robert had teased, adjusting his hands and tugging Aaron in closer, ducking his head slightly until all he could see was the faint lines around Aaron’s eyes, the coarse hair of his stubble on his cheeks. “And what exactly would it take?”

Aaron had shrugged and Robert’s heart had pounded with anticipation as Aaron’s eyes had dropped to his lips and darkened, the pupils large and round and all but swallowing up the blue. 

“I dunno.” He’d murmured, and Robert had swallowed thickly, unable to tear his faze away from Aaron’s face. “Guess you’ll have to find out aye?”

*****

They spend the morning wandering down the Promenade, arms brushing every now and again as they weave past the couples and families enjoying the amusements and the beach. Aaron is quiet, but in a way that Robert knows is just him being thoughtful, and he allows himself to simply enjoy Aaron’s warm presence by his side without worry or care.

“You fancy it?” Aaron pipes up suddenly, and Robert turns his head to look at him sharply. He raises his brow questioning, and Aaron nods towards the scattered groups of people ambling across the beach.

“I mean you can’t go to Blackpool and not _actually_ go on the beach right?”

Robert huffs a short laugh and buries his hands in his pockets as they come to a slow stop, memories of Aaron’s earlier rant over his full English coming back to the forefront of his mind.

“And I thought you said that the sea was ‘grey and cold, and you couldn’t think of anything more depressing’. Or did I just imagine that?”

Aaron shrugs and sucks at his top lip, glancing around aimlessly before settling his eyes back on Robert.

“It’s a beach though innit?” He says eventually, hint of a cheeky smile pulling at his mouth. “Can’t remember the last time I went on one.”

Robert sighs with false exasperation and steps in closer to Aaron to nudge him gently with his elbow. “Alright, lead on. But if my feet get wet I’m blamin’ you.”

Aaron grins and turns to head down the steps towards the beach, Robert shakes his head and follows him, grumbling without any real bite when he feels the first inpour of sand into his shoes. 

They stroll slowly down the beach, the tide on its way out and leaving stretches of golden sand in its wake. He watches Aaron closely, trails behind him a little so he can look at him without Aaron being aware, takes in his soft smile as he kicks lazily at stones and dried curls of seaweed. Robert bites at his lip and hunches his chin down inside his coat, fists burying down into his pockets out of the chill, and follows Aaron down to the shore, the waves quietly lapping at the sand.

“Have a look at this,” Aaron says brightly, bending down to dig something out of the wet sand. Robert steps up beside him and Aaron turns, rubbing the object clean.

“It’s a shark tooth.” He continues, placing the tooth in his palm and holding it out for Robert to look at. “Ain’t seen one of these for years.”

Robert smiles, fascinated by Aaron’s enthusiasm for something so completely unexpected. He slips one hand from his pocket and pokes at the tooth with his index finger, the tip of the tooth still sharp against his skin.

“You some sort of expert then?” He grins, bewildered butterflies erupting in his stomach when he sees the faint blush creeping along Aaron’s cheeks.

“Just, y’know,” Aaron says, clearing his throat and shrugging one shoulder as he glances away abashed. “Saw some as a kid, always thought they were kinda cool.”

Robert smirks and nudges him gently, noting with amusement the way Aaron’s palm curls protectively around the tooth to stop it from falling. 

“You’re adorable y’know that?”

“Shut up.” Aaron mutters, rolling his eyes even as his blush begins to deepen. Robert pokes at his waist and Aaron squirms away, half laugh falling from his lips; Robert reaches for him again and Aaron curls into himself, trying to protect his sides.

“Excuse me,” a woman’s voice says from behind him, and Robert pauses, hand outstretched to grab for Aaron’s hoodie. He turns to look over his shoulder and raises an eyebrow at the source of the voice, a young dark-haired woman with a phone clutched in her gloved hand.

“So sorry, but would you mind taking a photo of us?” She asks, gesturing behind her to a tall man holding onto the hands of a little girl, the toddler splashing her welly’s happily in the small puddles left by the sea. Robert nods with a pleasant smile and takes the phone as the woman passes it over.

“Say cheese!” The woman coos at her daughter as the man picks her up and holds her on his hip. The little girl grins, wide and gummy, and Robert snaps a couple of photos before holding the phone back out.

“Thank you,” the woman says, grinning as she flicks through the pictures. She slips the phone back into her pocket, and rests her hand down automatically on her daughter’s hat covered head when the little girl launches herself at her legs. “Nice to get some good ones, normally can’t keep her still long enough.”

“It’s no problem.” Robert answers, shoving his hands back in his pocket. He glances down at the little girl, blinking up at him curiously with her lower lip sucked into her mouth, her blue eyes are big and round and he smiles at her instinctively, making her grin and bury her face in her mother’s hip. “It’s excitin’ being at the beach in’t it?”

The toddler nods her head seriously in response and Robert hears the woman laugh brightly, petting at her daughter’s head. 

“Congratulations, by the way,” she suddenly says, and Robert looks back up at her, noting her pleasant smile as she nods at the bump still visible even through his thick coat. “When’s the baby due?”

“12th January.” Aaron pipes up from his left. Robert turns his head towards him abruptly, and he has to fix his jaw to hold back on the beaming smile he feels threatening to break out at the soft look on Aaron’s face. 

“Oh not too long then! Bet you can’t wait. Is it your first?”

He drags his gaze from Aaron’s face and nods his head at her, aware still of Aaron and his warm eyes at his side. “Yeah. Yeah it’s our first.”

“Aw how lovely!” The woman grins, taking her daughter’s hand when the little girl pulls at it. “Well I hope it all goes well for you.”

“Thanks,” Robert says, smiling at her. “Hope you enjoy the rest of the day by the way.”

She smiles back and turns to walk away, with her daughter bouncing on her toes beside her. He sees Aaron step up next to him from the corner of his eye, and moves towards him, hand cupping around the side of his stomach; Aaron buries his fists in his hoodie pockets and looks at him with a hesitant smile. 

“D’you wanna go get a coffee or summat?” He asks, biting at his lower lip and digging the toe of his shoe into the sand. Robert nods and rocks on his heels, smiling brightly as he runs his eyes over Aaron’s face, his cheeks pinked from the chill of the wind, hair ruffled and beginning to curl from its gelled prison.

“As long as you’re buyin’,” he says with a wink, nudging Aaron gently with his elbow. Aaron rolls his eyes but nudges him back, grinning back at him over his shoulder as he leads the way back up the beach.

*****

“A Porsche? Seriously?”

Aaron’s brow is furrowed as he pulls an unimpressed face, his nose wrinkled unattractively in a way that Robert can’t help but find charming, despite the slight sting he feels instinctively at Aaron’s reaction to his prospective new car.

“What’s wrong with a Porsche?” He asks, bewildered as he holds his mug of decaf coffee up halfway to his mouth. “Porsche’s are great. Especially the classic ones.”

“Er, yeah,” Aaron nods, pulling another slightly more thoughtful face and folding his arms across his chest, as he leans back in his chair. “Tend to only have 2 seats too. Unless you’re plannin’ on putting the baby in the boot.”

Robert blinks and sighs, placing his mug back down on the table. “Shit.”

“Yeah.” Aaron laughs; Robert feels his leg brush against his under the table. “Didn’t think that through did ya?”

“D’you know how long I’ve wanted a classic Porsche for?” He asks rhetorically, shifting in his seat as a small wave of unbridled disappointment settles over him. He feels his mouth fall into a pout and he sighs again. “Now I’ll never have one thanks to you.”

Aaron raises an eyebrow pointedly and reaches for his own coffee. 

“Er, pretty sure you was the one who decided to have a kid.”

Robert grumbles and folds his arms to rest across the top of his stomach, abashment making him duck his eyes a little from Aaron’s gaze. “Yeah well, didn’t exactly have a choice after I saw him did I? Sucked me in with that cute face didn’t he?”

Aaron lowers his mug again and tilts his head thoughtfully. 

“Thought all babies looked like squashed aliens on the first scan,” he says, his nose wrinkling once again as his mouth pulls into something half resembling a teasing smile. “Was it ‘cause he looked too much like you then?”

Robert kicks at his shin under the table as Aaron laughs, trying to shift away from his feet. He shakes his head, fighting back a smile as he grabs again for his coffee; he feels warm and happy, content in a way he hasn’t felt for months at the sight of Aaron’s glowing face and bright eyes. He sinks back against his chair and raises one eyebrow, swallowing back a mouthful of his cooling Americano.

“Yeah well this ‘alien face’ didn’t put you off did it?” He smirks, enjoying the way Aaron rolls his eyes and bites his lower lip. “Seem to remember you couldn’t get enough of it.”

Aaron shrugs, pouting his mouth as he leans back in his seat too, arms folded across his waist. 

“Well, me mum always said I had bad taste…” He trails off, eyes glinting as he fixes Robert in his gaze. Robert rolls his eyes and drinks the last dregs of his drink, placing the mug down on the table with a pointed thunk.

“You done?” He asks, with wide eyes. “With both the insults and the coffee?”

Aaron grins and nods, pushing away his own mug and standing up from the table. Robert grabs for his coat and follows suit, shrugging it back on and zipping up to his throat as Aaron leads them out of the café. 

They walk down the street aimlessly, passing by the shoppers and families enjoying a day out. Robert notes a Debenhams on the corner and pauses when he sees the big red sign in the window proclaiming a ‘Baby and Toddler Event!’ sale. He sucks on his lower lip thoughtfully, and sees Aaron halt abruptly out the corner of his eye.

“What’s up?” Aaron asks confused, turning back around. Robert nods in the direction of the window and slips his chilly hands into his jeans pockets.

“Fancy a look?” He asks tentatively, swaying back on his heels. Aaron stares at him half horrified, eyes big and baffled.

“Seriously?” He says, glancing between the shop and Robert. “You wanna go shoppin’?”

Robert rolls his eyes and sighs, immediately regretting the suggestion at the look still fixed on Aaron’s face.

“I was just thinkin’ of having a look.” He answers tiredly, shrugging his shoulders. “I’ve got absolutely _nothin’_ for him, and y’know, not exactly got a lot of time left.”

Aaron blinks and Robert sighs again, stepping forward and making to gesture Aaron on, when Aaron nods quickly and shoves his hands in his hoodie pockets.

“Alright,” he says grouchily, and Robert can tell it pains him. “‘Spose we could go have a look.”

Robert grins and moves beside him, nudging him gently with his elbow as Aaron rolls his eyes and mutters under his breath.

“Cheer up! Maybe we can get a dummy you can spit out too?” He laughs; laughing harder when Aaron grimaces and shoots him daggers, nudging him back and stalking over towards the entrance to the shop.

The shop is as busy as expected on a Saturday 5 weeks from Christmas, crowds of people milling around with arms and baskets full of _stuff_ lining the aisles and walkways. Robert dodges past them with the ease of someone who has spent years trying to navigate busy city centres, and tries not to smirk at the sight of Aaron clumsily trailing behind him, gruffly apologising every 10 seconds to the next person he bumps into.

They make it to the baby section eventually, and Robert winces a little at the scores of people milling around riffling through the rails. He hears Aaron’s groan beside from him, but ignores his complaints and grabs for a basket on his way into the crowd.

It’s overwhelming, the amount of _things_ a baby needs. Sterilisers, changing mats, high chairs, Moses baskets, pushchairs… all lined up on shelves and stacked up high. Different brands, different types, all in a wide range of colours and prices. He swallows at the sight of it all, reality of the situation smacking him full force in the face, and turns away, bumping into Aaron who frowns at him confused.

“Think we should er, just look at the clothes yeah?” He says, clearing his throat and nodding away from the furniture, trying to ignore the thrum of his pulse in the base of his throat. Aaron nods, his brow still furrowed, but turns around and leads them both over to the clothes section. 

It’s easier to deal with the clothes, the rails of small outfits unthreatening and familiar in a way that the mountains of furniture aren’t. He stops at the newborn clothes and flicks through the soft sleepsuits, all in pale pastels and soft creams. He picks a couple, plain and simple, and drops them into the basket, before moving on, his eyes caught by the patterned daytime outfits and tiny jackets.

“Jesus Robert! These are like 20 quid each!” Aaron pipes up from over his shoulder as Robert picks up a small cotton jacket, navy blue with cream cuffs. He looks at Aaron with a raised eyebrow and an amused smile, and Aaron huffs.

“I mean he’s a baby yeah? I don’t even spend that much on my clothes, and all he’s gonna do is get food down ‘em.”

“So he’ll be takin’ after you then?” Robert smirks, flashes of Aaron’s hoodie stained with splodges of ketchup from his butty, or dustings of toast crumbs clinging to the front of his t-shirt, springing to mind. Aaron rolls his eyes, but his lips twitch in a small smile as he shakes his head. Robert runs his thumbs over the material of the jacket as he turns his head away, and drops the coat into the basket decisively along with the rest of the clothes.

He adds a few more things, tops and trousers, rompers and hats, before he wanders over to find Aaron.

“Cute,” he says, nodding at the pair of dungarees and t-shirt that Aaron is staring at thoughtfully, lip caught between his teeth. They’re dark blue with the shirt a mottled grey underneath, a cartoon whale stitched to the front pocket grins up from the fabric. 

“Yeah.” Aaron nods, shuffling on his feet as he glances between Robert and the rail. “Yeah, s’alright. Just thought y’know, beach, sea…” He trails off, faint blush staining his cheeks as he scratches at his jaw. Robert grins and makes to slide the hanger from the hook.

“I’ll stick it in with the rest then – ”

“No.” Aaron cuts him off, plucking the hanger from Robert’s grasp and clearing his throat. He looks nervous and Robert’s chest fills with warmth at his skittishness. “I’ll get it yeah? First thing I’ll have got him.”

“Sure.” Robert smiles, nodding his head as Aaron continues to pull at his lip with his teeth, his thumb smoothing gently over the material of the tiny t-shirt. “We should go pay.”

Aaron nods and smiles softly in reply; Robert turns and leads them over to the tills, joining the long queue threading through the makeshift line set up in anticipation of the Christmas shoppers. 

He waits for him after paying, stood at the side of the tills. He watches as Aaron smiles at the girl behind the counter, putting his card back into his wallet as the girls passes over a bag. He takes it with a twitch of his lips and walks over to join Robert, his eyes wide and expectant.

“So… what next?”

“Dunno,” Robert says, shrugging nonchalantly and looking around the shop absently. “Go for a walk, see some Christmas lights? Get a bag of chips and throw them at the seagulls?”

Aaron snorts and rubs at his beard, raising an eyebrow and holding back on a smirk. “And they say romance is dead aye?”

Robert widens his eyes and looks at Aaron with a bemused expression, even as his stomach swoops pleasantly with expectation. “So, you wanted romance? Why didn’t you say?”

“Shut up.” Aaron mutters fondly, rolling his eyes as his cheeks pinken. “It’s just an expression innit?”

“Sure.” Robert smirks, adjusting the grip on his bag and swaying from one foot to another as he nods his head towards the exit. “Come on, I’ll go halves with you on some mushy peas. You can’t say I don’t ever treat ya.”

*****

They’d had sex.

Robert had shoved Aaron down onto the bed before he’d had chance to finish his beer, and they hadn’t gotten out again until well after room service had stopped serving. It’d been frantic the first time, both of them desperate to simply be in a bed rather than on dusty hay bales and scratchy sacking; but afterwards it’d been slower, Robert pushing Aaron down into the bed and riding him with calculated twists of his hips, wanting to take Aaron apart piece by piece.

They’d showered after, together, and Aaron had dropped to his knees without being asked, sucking Robert off hard and slow, the spray of the shower pounding down on them from above. Robert had been left gasping and shaking, and Aaron’s hair had been a tangled mess by the time he’d let go, the wet strands curling thickly around his fingers.

When they’d made it back to bed it was almost 3am and Robert had sighed as his head had sunk back into the pillows, his body aching deliciously and legs still trembling even though it’d been half an hour since he’d last come. 

“This was a good idea.” He’d slurred, half asleep and slightly sex drunk, his fingertips trailing over the skin between his hips where Aaron had placed heated kisses less than an hour ago. “Much better than the barn.”

Aaron had hummed and Robert had felt him shift slightly beside him, the t-shirt he’d put on to Robert’s dismay, rustling against the covers. “Told ya so.”

“Yeah.” Robert had sighed again, his eyes closed and breathing beginning to slow. On the verges of sleep he’d rolled onto his side, nuzzling his head into the pillow and curling one fist underneath. “Should do it again sometime.”

“Yeah.” Aaron had replied, his voice barely above a whisper; and Robert had smiled, drifting off to sleep, feeling more relaxed than he had in weeks.

*****

They walk slowly down the promenade, passing the bag of chips between them as the newly illuminated Christmas lights twinkle above. Aaron dips his chips in a styrofoam tub of mushy peas, it clutched in his left hand like something precious, and Robert tries not to smile every time he sighs with satisfaction.

“This was a good idea,” Aaron says around a mouthful of chips, licking salt from his thumb as he nods his head. “Ain’t had chips this good in years.”

Robert hums in agreement and takes a few for himself, chewing lazily as he lets his gaze wander over the small groups of people out enjoying the night too; families with kids waving light up sticks, couples walking along arm in arm, snuggled up against the cold. He smiles to himself and folds his left hand into his coat pocket, dipping his chin down inside the collar.

“Wait a sec,” Aaron says, and Robert pauses, turning back to look at him as Aaron walks over to the seawall and drops his chips and peas down on it. Robert follows him over curiously and leans against the wall as Aaron fumbles in his hoodie pocket, eventually pulling out a can of coke with a triumphant huff.

“Y’know you could have just asked me to hold them?” Robert points out with amusement as Aaron cracks the tab on the can. 

“Your hands are full.” Aaron answers with a shrug, nodding at the big bag of baby clothes and taking a sip of his drink. He leans back against the wall too and they stand in content silence, bag of chips between them that Robert picks at every now and again. 

The small groups of people continue to stream past and Robert watches them all with casual interest. A male alpha and omega couple pause just a few feet away, turning into one another and adjusting a bundle in the omega’s arms. Robert peers at them curiously, and his stomach swoops when he sees the tiny baby wrapped up warm between them, swaddled in blankets and a big puffy snowsuit. He bites at his lip to hold back on a smile, and turns to look at Aaron still scoffing away at his chips with single focus. 

“We should bring him here next year,” he says softly, and Aaron looks up at him with confusion. He nods towards the couple and sees Aaron look at them too, his expression turning thoughtful as he sucks his thumb free of grease. “We could stay the night, make a weekend out of it.”

“Yeah, babies like that sort of stuff don’t they? Lights and shit?” He replies, dipping another chip in what remains of the peas; Robert snorts and laughs under his breath.

“Yeah they do, nice to hear it put so eloquently though.”

Aaron shrugs and sips at his coke, screwing up the chip wrapper and sighing contently as he settles back in beside him, their arms brushing lightly against one another. “Spade’s a spade innit?”

Robert huffs a laugh and shakes his head with amusement. He feels Aaron shift again beside him and breathes out slowly, watching out across the promenade as a group of teenagers sing loudly and muck about with glowing Santa hats on their heads.

“We could take him to the beach and everythin’,” Aaron says thoughtfully. “He’ll probably be starting to walk then right?” 

Robert hums in agreement, thinking forward to a years’ time. Their baby almost a year old, his first Christmas coming up fast, him crawling and walking and smiling. It sends warmth through him like nothing else and he smiles, hunching down against the soft breeze.

“Y’know,” Aaron says tentatively after a moment, and Robert can feel him shuffling around anxiously next to him. “We could do that now if you wanted? Spend the weekend I mean.”

Robert’s eyes widen, and he turns his head sharply to look at Aaron, surprise he imagines written all over his face as he heart begins to pound. “You what?”

Aaron shrinks away a little and he shrugs dismissively, digging his toe hard into the ground as he looks away deliberately from Robert’s eyes. 

“Forget it.” He mutters, shrugging again and moving to grab his chip wrapper and empty can. Robert reaches out for him, grabbing the sleeve of his hoodie between his fingers in panic as Aaron makes to walk away.

“No! Aaron just stop,” he says quickly, tugging at his sleeve until Aaron turns back towards him, his eyes still down at the floor. “I didn’t mean it like that, I just – d’you mean it? Us stayin’?”

Aaron bites at his lower lip and shrugs again, finally lifting his eyes up to meet Robert’s. “Well yeah, it’s been alright today ain’t it? And I’ve got nothin’ on tomorrow. Just sayin’ we don’t have to rush back that’s all.”

Robert pauses and runs his gaze over Aaron’s face, takes in his uncertainty and underlying eagerness that shines through in his eyes. He feels an expectant thrum rush through him and he swallows, nodding carefully as he keeps Aaron’s eye contact.

“Yeah, there’s no rush,” he says, suddenly aware that he’s still got Aaron’s hoodie curled in his fingers, keeping him close. “I guess we’d better go see if we can find a hotel then.”

Aaron smiles briefly in reply and Robert lets go of his sleeve, falling in beside him as they re-join the throng of people heading down the street. Robert repeatedly finds himself glancing at Aaron from the corner of his eye, and butterflies swarm in his belly when he catches Aaron looking back at him too, the backs of their hands brushing every once in a while as they navigate their way through the crowd.

*****

The first 3 B&B’s they try along the seafront are full, the receptionists at each all smiling apologetically as they tell them they are fully booked. Robert sighs as they step out of the third, rubbing at his forehead and almost considering calling it a day when Aaron nudges him forward, pointing at another one a few houses down with a ‘vacancies’ sign lit up in neon in the window.

“Worth a shot.” He shrugs, raising an eyebrow. “If not, we can just try a Travelodge or summat.”

Robert nods wearily but follows him down the path and up the couple of steps to the entrance to the B&B, a tiny bell rings overhead as they step through the door, a blast of delicious warmth welcoming them in, and Robert rubs at his icy fingers as the step the small space over to the desk. 

“Oh hello!” A middle-aged woman says as she peers around a door just off to the side. She straightens out her cardigan as she walks over and stands in front of them on the other side of the desk, clearing her throat and smiling at them brightly. “How can I help you both boys?”

“Er we’re looking for a couple of rooms,” Robert says, resting his wrist against the edge of the desk and looking at her hopefully. The woman sighs and clicks a couple of things on her computer, toying with her lower lip.

“I’m afraid we’re basically full,” she says, and Robert sighs too, ready to say a quick ‘thanks’ and step on out, but then she hums and looks between them, tapping a nail on her mouse. “I do have 1 room left, but it’s a double?”

Robert pauses uncertain, not sure exactly if sharing a bed would be pushing whatever it was they currently were, too far too soon. He opens his mouth ready to reply, to tell her that they’ll keep looking but thanks for the offer – when Aaron cuts him off before he can say a word of it.

“Yeah that’s fine,” he says, and Robert blinks wide eyed as he turns to look at him, surprised by Aaron once again and feeling a twist of anticipation at _something_ squirm under his skin. Aaron looks back at him and raises an eyebrow questioningly at whatever expression it is that he sees on Robert’s face. “I mean that’s alright with you yeah?”

Robert nods and shuffles on his feet, still taken aback as he toys apprehensively with the handle of the carrier bag still clutched in his hand. “Yeah, yeah, s’fine with me.”

“Well that’s great then!” The woman says cheerily, tapping away at her keyboard and smiling. “I’ll get you all booked in and give you the keys. It’ll be £65 for the night and breakfast is from 7 – 9.”

She takes Robert’s name and he hands over his credit card as she takes down his details. She passes them both over a set of keys and gestures over towards the staircase.

“Your room is on the first floor, just on the left. There’s fresh towels and dressing gowns, and extra pillows if you need them, but if there’s anything else you need, either dial 1 on the phone, or pop down and see me.”

They both nod as they take the keys and say ‘thanks’. Robert gestures Aaron forwards and follows him as they head up the stairs slowly, he feels a dull throb of anticipation build in his gut, the uncertainty of it all making his pulse race, and he swallows heavily as the turn onto the corridor, Aaron’s key jingling as he makes to open the door.

*****

He’d been confused when he’d woken the next morning, his first sight the empty space beside him, the pillow and covers rumpled and cold. He’d blinked blearily, pushing himself up onto one elbow and had felt himself relax when he’d seen Aaron sat at the end of the bed.

“You always up this early?” He’d mumbled, sitting up against the pillows and reaching for his phone. There had been one text from Chrissie and he’d quickly swiped right across the screen, hiding the notification away out of sight. Aaron had shrugged and had sipped at the coffee clutched in his hands.

“Couldn’t sleep,” he’d said, and Robert had looked up at that, raising an eyebrow curiously. 

“Did I snore?” He’d asked, and Aaron had shaken his head, a small smile appearing on his lips.

“Nah, kicked me a couple of times though.”

Robert had winced and had leaned back over to drop his phone down on the bedside table. He’d scrubbed at his face with one hand and had slumped back into the pillows with an apologetic sigh. “Sorry, Chrissie nags me when I do that.”

Aaron had looked away then and Robert had frowned slightly, trying to look at him through the mirror on the wardrobe at the end of the bed. When Aaron had shown no real sign of looking back, he’d pushed himself up onto his knees and crawled forward, biting at his lip as Aaron had given him his attention once more. 

“Y’know,” he’d murmured, pressing his knuckles into the bed and raising an eyebrow as he’d rocked on his knees, Aaron looking up at him soft and uncertain. “I didn’t get us a late check out for nothin’.”

“Yeah?” Aaron had asked tentatively, and Robert had felt something flutter deep in his gut as seeing Aaron so open and gentle, so completely different to how he usually was, rough and prickly at the edges. He’d licked his lower lip and had shifted in closer, the mattress sinking under his weight.

“Yeah.” He’d breathed, feeling his mouth twitch in a pleased smile at the look on Aaron’s face. “And I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to go back yet.”

Aaron had shaken his head and Robert had felt a flush of arousal, Aaron’s dark eyes trained on his mouth with single focus. Robert had dipped his head down lower, their noses all but brushing, and Aaron had raised his eyes back up, his breath blowing soft over Robert’s dampened lips. 

“Well then.” Robert had said, pushing their foreheads together as Aaron’s eyes had fluttered shut waiting for the kiss. “I guess that means you’re stuck with me.”

*****

The room is nice, clean and decorated well in Robert’s opinion. There’s a kettle in the corner with a wide range of teas and coffees, flat screen TV on the wall and a modest sized sofa under the window. He drops his bag down onto the coffee table in front of the sofa and looks around the room in approval; however his eyes catch when they see Aaron sat down on the end of what is a very comfortable looking double bed.

“I can take the sofa if you want?” He finds himself blurting out, hitching his thumb back to where said piece of furniture sits behind him. “There’s some pillows and an extra duvet on top of the wardrobe, I don’t mind.”

He sees Aaron frown and his eyes narrow, his brow pulling together taught as he leans forward with his elbows on his knees.

“Robert you’re 8 months pregnant, you ain’t sleepin’ on the sofa,” he says in disbelief. “Look if you really don’t wanna share _I’ll_ sleep on the sofa – ”

“No.” Robert cuts him off, shaking his head and holding up one hand. “It’s not that I just – I wasn’t sure if that’s what you’d want. After what you’d said, before I mean.”

Aaron’s lips twitch at the corner and he sighs, pushing himself up from the bed and coming to stand in the middle of the room, his hands folded into his hoodie pockets. Robert watches him curiously, fingers twitching down by his sides.

“It’s just to sleep yeah?” Aaron says nonchalantly, shrugging one shoulder as glances absently around the room. “It’s not a big deal Robert, mates share beds sometimes.”

Robert nods and pulls at his lower lip with his teeth, trying to hold back on the sting Aaron’s dismissiveness leaves on him. Aaron ducks his head a little and turns away slightly, gesturing towards the door.

“I’m gonna go get some drinks, pretty sure I saw a sign for a bar downstairs.”

Robert nods again and sighs as Aaron leaves through the door. He rubs at his face and walks back towards the sofa, stripping himself out of his coat and tossing it across the back cushions. As he straightens up, his back cracking a little under duress, he spots the door to the bathroom and the large shower inside. He groans in appreciation at the sight of it, and immediately heads for the room, kicking his shoes off on the way.

*****

Aaron is already back and lounging on the bed watching Match of the Day, beer in hand, when Robert opens the bathroom door, adjusting the belt of the dressing gown over the top of his belly. He pauses for a second, Aaron’s eyes skipping away from the TV and over to him, before he closes the door behind him and makes his way to sit on the opposite side of the bed, grimacing as he swings his legs up onto the mattress.

“You alright?” Aaron asks with concern, and Robert looks at him, nodding his head as he adjusts the pillows behind his back.

“Yeah I’m fine, just didn’t realise how much I ached until now.” He laughs softly, settling into the bed and sighing in relief. Aaron nods and smiles, small and brief, pointing to the bedside table to Robert’s right with his bottle.

“I got you a cherry coke,” he says with slight hesitancy. “Saw Vic in the shop the other day and she said you’d been cravin’ it, they didn’t have any juice so – ”

“It’s fine.” Robert cuts him off with a grin, glancing at the bottle dripping condensation onto the wood. “It’s great, thanks.”

Aaron sucks at his lip and nods, smiling in reply and sipping at his beer. “Dunno how you can drink the stuff to be honest, tastes fuckin’ vile.”

“I don’t normally.” He answers, reaching for the bottle and unscrewing the cap. “It’s too sweet, but hormones make everythin’ taste weird.”

Aaron hums and drains the last of his beer, sitting up and dropping it down onto the table as he picks up the other one, fumbling for the bottle opener on his keys as cheers sound from the TV, Leicester scoring a second goal against Newcastle. Aaron hisses as the bottle top pops away and beer fizzes up, spilling up over his hands and across his lap. Robert hears him swear under his breath as he shoves the bottle to his lips, standing abruptly from the bed.

“Shit!” Aaron says again, thunking the bottle down onto the beside table and wiping at his mouth, looking down at his soaked jeans in dismay. “Fuck’s sake!”

“Unlucky mate.” Robert smirks, trying to hold back a laugh as Aaron glares at him. He sees Aaron instinctively reach for the button on his jeans and then pause abruptly, glancing back over at him on the bed and hesitating. Robert raises an eyebrow and shrugs, affecting the same air of nonchalance Aaron had sent his way earlier.

“Take ‘em off if you want,” he says, reclining further into the pillows and laying one arm over his belly. “Mates sit on beds with no trousers on sometimes.”

Aaron remains still for a moment, his expression torn between a mix of uncertainty and annoyance at Robert parroting back his own dismissal; but then he huffs and shakes his head, unbuttoning and unzipping his jeans roughly and shoving them to the floor, leaving him in just his black boxer shorts. He grabs what remains of his drink and climbs back onto the bed, gulping away at it as Leicester score a third goal on screen to half the crowds delight. 

They sit in silence for a little while, it not exactly content but not exactly tense either, the atmosphere just enough to put Robert on edge, fully aware of himself being completely naked under his robe, and Aaron in nothing but a small pair of boxers and t-shirt beside him. He shifts on the bed, uncomfortable, and winces when his ankles bash against one another, curbing the grimace that threatens to break out behind his teeth.

“What’s wrong?” Aaron asks, the flicker of concern back in his voice as he looks over again, and Robert sighs with resignation, slowly moving his legs on the covers.

“My feet are swollen,” he says tiredly, rubbing at the side of his face. “Must’ve overdone it with the walkin’.”

Aaron sits up and twists to place his bottle down, before turning to sit in closer towards Robert, tapping the outside of his robe covered thigh with the back of his hand.

“Sit up and give ‘em here,” he says, gesturing to his lap. “Let me have a look, surprised you can even see for yourself.”

Robert raises his brow and sits up, but doesn’t move his legs any further, uncertain of what it is Aaron plans to do. “Why?”

Aaron rolls his eyes and sighs. 

“‘Cause I’m gonna chop ‘em off.” He replies, tone loaded with sarcasm as he looks at Robert with wide eyes. “I’m gonna rub them, what d’you think I’m gonna do?”

Robert stares at him bewildered but does as asked, carefully and awkwardly swinging his legs around to place them over Aaron’s lap, rearranging the pillows behind him to support his back. “Since when do you do foot rubs? And more to the point how do you even know how?”

Aaron looks away at that, focusing on Robert’s feet as he gently picks the left one up between his palms. Robert feels unsettled all of a sudden, the change in Aaron’s demeanour so quick it almost leaves him dizzy. He makes to apologise, unsure of where he went wrong, but then Aaron clears his throat and pauses his hands with a sigh.

“I’d do it for Jackson sometimes,” he says quietly, his voice rough as his thumbs just barely skim the skin on the back of his foot. “Y’know, help with circulation and stuff.”

Robert’s stomach drops and he swallows, feeling a wash of guilt flood him. He moves to pull away, pushing himself back up as he looks down at the bed. 

“You’d don’t have to, I’m alright – ”

Aaron’s hand curls around his calf and Robert stops, looking over at him as Aaron rubs one hand through his beard with a sigh. 

“I want to alright?” He says, and Robert can see on his face and in his eyes that he means it. “You’re in pain ‘cause you’re having my kid and I can do summat about it. It’s literally the only thing I can help ya with so just let me Rob.”

Robert blinks, slightly taken aback for a moment, but then he nods once, licking at his lip. Aaron smiles quickly before tugging Robert’s foot further over his thigh, and gently pushing and smoothing along the ball and down the centre. Robert winces at first, trying not flinch when Aaron hits the sorest spots, but before long the sensation begins to send a shiver up his spine, and he can’t help but moan reflexively as Aaron presses right into the sole of his foot.

“Seriously?” Aaron huffs with an amused twitch of his lips, still looking down in concentration at Robert’s feet. “That really necessary?”

Robert snorts, a little breathless, and raises his eyebrows pointedly. “Thought you’d enjoy it, strokin’ your ego right?”

Aaron rolls his eyes and Robert’s stomach flutters at the sight of a faint blush crawling up Aaron’s throat.

“That’s the point.” Aaron mutters, thumbing across the back of Robert’s ankle and making him squirm. “Sound like you’re in a porno.”

Robert smirks and shuffles closer still, moaning a little more exaggerated on the next pass of Aaron’s thumbs.

“Oh fuck off would ya!” Aaron laughs, knocking his feet away slightly but still keeping them across his thighs. Robert grins and pushes himself up as Aaron sits back against the headboard again, his shirt rumpling and tugging away from his collarbone on one side, exposing the hint of the flush Robert knows is across his chest. He bites at his lip as he trails his gaze down, seeing Aaron half hard in his boxers, and flicks his eyes back up again. He sees Aaron looking at him, his eyes bright and unabashed, and Robert swallows thickly, shuffling as he weighs up the risk. 

“Y’know,” he says carefully, lowering his eyes a little to blink at the hint of skin visible to him on Aaron’s chest, not wanting to see the rejection on Aaron’s face if he has read the situation entirely wrong. “Sometimes mates just have sex too. If they want.”

“Oh really?” Aaron replies, and Robert looks up, unsure of his tone of voice and what it can mean. Aaron’s expression appears blank and Robert feels a sinking in his chest that he has screwed it up completely; but then he notes a flash of something in Aaron’s eyes, a hint of teasing, and he holds his breath, waiting for a signal, for anything to show that he hasn’t read it all wrong.

“Yeah.” He eventually breathes out, when he realises that Aaron is waiting for _him_ , that he isn’t going to push but he isn’t going to push him away either. “Yeah they do.”

Aaron pulls a thoughtful face at that and nods, sliding one hand down to scratch lazily at his thigh, the back of his hand just brushing the skin of Robert’s ankle and making him shiver. 

“Right,” he says slowly, wetting his lower lip as he runs his eyes over Robert’s face, his gaze lingering briefly on Robert’s mouth. “And what about if they’re not really mates? What if y’know, they’re havin’ a kid together or summat?”

Robert pauses and exhales slowly, all too aware that one wrong word could ruin everything, could ruin whatever tentative _thing_ there is between them in a fraction of a second. So instead of telling Aaron again that they could do it, that they could take that step and just _be together_ , he fixes a smirk to his face and tries for levity instead.

“Well at least you know no one is gonna end up pregnant, not this time anyway.”

A crack appears in Aaron’s otherwise blank façade and he smiles, looking away from Robert and scrubbing a hand through the side of his now curling hair.

“Fair point,” Aaron says once he has regained control of his expression, nodding his head and looking back towards him. Robert sends him a quick smile but then allows it to drop, glancing down to his lap and running his fingers across the thick cotton of his robe.

“I’m not gonna lie and say it doesn’t have to mean anything,” he says slowly, pulling at a loose thread and twisting it around his index finger. “‘Cause it will, for me anyway. But we’re both single now, and he’s not here yet.” He continues, nodding down towards the bump and briefly looking up to get a read on Aaron’s face. “We’re not hurting anyone anymore.”

“Just maybe each other.” Aaron murmurs, almost resigned to it, and Robert sighs, feeling disheartened all over again.

“I know that I can’t change the past.” He answers quietly earnest, looking at Aaron tentatively from under his lashes. “And I’m not going to push, for _anythin’_ Aaron, but the last thing I’d want is to hurt you. And I’m sorry for all the times that I did, more than you’ll ever know.”

Aaron nods, sucking his lower lip into his mouth and rubbing at the side of his face before he sighs too. “Alright.”

Robert blinks, unsure of what Aaron means, but he feels his pulse begin to pick up in the base of his throat and swallows. “What?”

“I’m just _tired_.” Aaron exhales heavily, his hands dropping down into his lap as he turns to look at him, his eyes are bright and open, and Robert can see the sheer weariness on his face. “I’m tired of just pretendin’, like we both don’t know where this is gonna go.”

Robert wets his lip and breathes slowly, even as his heart beats double time, anticipation heavy in his belly. “So… what is it you want to do now?”

“You.” Aaron laughs under his breath, and Robert does the same, shifting up against the pillows. They calm after a second and Robert looks at him softly, waiting, to see what happens next.

“Fuck it.” Aaron mutters, and Robert swallows as Aaron moves forward towards him. He breathes in as Aaron’s hand carefully slides up the side of his thigh, fingers skimming under the bottom of his robe, and he leans closer, meeting Aaron’s mouth halfway.

He moans into the kiss, curling his palm along Aaron’s jaw and pushing in closer. His stomach swoops as Aaron presses his hand up higher, clutching at the flesh at the back of his thigh and pulling, bringing Robert’s legs further over his lap. Robert hums and pulls back a little, awkwardly twisting to push himself up and settle straddled over Aaron’s thighs.

“You sure?” Aaron asks with a touch of concern, his hands coming up to cup instinctively around Robert’s hips and steady him. Robert nods and slides his hands along Aaron’s shoulders, dipping his head down to press their foreheads together.

“Give it 10 minutes and I won’t even care.” He murmurs with a half smirk, trailing his palms up to press against Aaron’s throat, feeling him swallow hard beneath his fingers. “I want to look at ya, and we’re a bit limited on choice now.”

Aaron breathes out unsteadily and Robert thumbs along his jaw, before leaning down to kiss him all over again. Aaron sighs and wraps his arm around Robert’s lower back, pulling him closer and right down onto his lap. Robert groans as he feels Aaron’s cock pressed right up against him, thick and hot through just the thin cotton of his boxers. He grinds his hips down a little and smiles into the kiss when Aaron’s lips falter, breath exhaling hard through his nose.

“Fuck.” Aaron gasps, pulling away slightly, and blinking up at Robert as if in a daze. His hands pull around to the belt of Robert’s robe and tug hastily, undoing the knot and dropping the strip down by his side. Robert licks his lip and leans back, allowing the robe to slip open down the front, taking satisfaction when Aaron immediately reaches for the sides of the robe and strips him of it, leaving him completely bare.

Aaron’s eyes are dark as he runs them down his body from head to toe and Robert shivers under his heated gaze. He reaches out for his hips again, tugs Robert back in against himself until the bump rests between them, pushed against Aaron’s stomach tight. Robert leans forward the rest of the way and brushes breathless kisses against Aaron’s mouth, a soft tease that Aaron moans at, clinging onto Robert’s hips and waist with desperate hands.

“Robert.” He all but whispers between kisses, his mouth red and bitten and Robert can’t draw his eyes away. “Rob _please_.”

Robert places one last deep kiss to Aaron mouth at that and shifts up onto his knees, he grabs at the hem of Aaron’s shirt and yanks it up, Aaron complying without question, and shrugging out of it with ease. He drops the shirt to the floor and looks down to tuck his fingers in the waistband of Aaron’s boxers, noting the wet patch at the front, a mixture of both Aaron’s arousal and his own. He bites at his lip as he curls the material down, Aaron hitching up his hips without prompting and kicking them off the rest of the way.

With the boxers gone Aaron’s cock rises up against his belly, flushed deep pink and leaking, a hint of swelling at the base where Robert knows Aaron’s knot would be in other circumstances. He swallows, tongue feeling thick and heavy, and settles himself back over Aaron’s thighs, feeling himself slick between his legs as he strokes his fingers down Aaron’s belly, thumbing lightly over the head of his cock. 

“ _Shit_!” Aaron hisses, his palms tightening over the backs of Robert’s hips and squeezing. Robert continues to stroke slowly at his cock, watching Aaron’s face as his mouth falls open in pleasure, his pupils dark and black. He feels one of Aaron’s hands slide around – palm cupping briefly around his belly – to skim over Robert’s own cock once or twice, before dipping down between his legs and slipping through the wetness there.

Robert keens, his rhythm faltering as he gasps against Aaron’s mouth. He rocks back instinctively on the pads of Aaron’s fingers, even as he shakes his head and rubs his free hand against Aaron’s stubbled cheek.

“I don’t need it.” He pants, smoothing his thumb under Aaron’s plump lower lip, squeezing his fist gently around the base of Aaron’s cock and shifting his hips up pointedly. “Just fuck me yeah? It’s fine.”

Aaron nods, licking at his lip as he exhales, and Robert shakes with anticipation as he pulls his hand back to wrap alongside Robert’s on his own cock, his other hand tugging at the back of Robert’s thigh and helping him slip down.

Robert curses breathless as he feels Aaron’s cock first push inside, a throb of arousal pulsing deep in his gut and he feels slick, sticky against his inner thighs. Aaron reaches up for his mouth again, and presses his hands firm against Robert’s waist, holding him close as he sinks down to the base with a grunt, clutching hard at Aaron’s shoulders.

“You okay?” Aaron asks gently, their lips barely a hairsbreadth apart, both their breathing laboured as Robert adjusts himself over Aaron’s lap. He nods, his hands coming up to run fingers through the back of Aaron’s sweat damp hair, and presses a sloppy kiss against Aaron’s upper lip, rolling his hips slowly and watching in satisfaction as Aaron’s eyes slip closed, his hands tightening against Robert’s skin. 

He sets a rhythm, it much more slower and fumbling than he would have liked, and he quickly realises that his body can’t move in the same way it had been able to the last time he’d done this. He feels a flash of self-consciousness, worry that it won’t feel as good, that Aaron can’t be enjoying it, and he pulls back ducking his head and running one hand over Aaron’s collarbone. 

“Sorry.” He pants, still trying to keep up a faster pace. “I can’t – shit if it’s bad – ”

“You jokin’?” Aaron gasps bewildered, lifting one hand up and using it to pull Robert’s face back up, forcing their eyes together, the look on his face one that Robert feels deep in his chest. 

“Robert just _look_ at ya,” he says, and Robert swallows, biting at his lip to temper a smile. He feels Aaron’s hands move then, run from his chest to his waist, rub pointed smooth circles on the lower curve of his belly. Aaron ducks his face to Robert’s throat and Robert sighs at the feel of his stubble against his skin, his lips wet and warm as they kiss and suck, trailing up underneath his jaw. He grasps hand at the back of Aaron’s head to keep him there, and moans loud when Aaron thrusts his hips up, catching the edge of Robert’s prostate and grinding there.

After that it’s easier, Aaron essentially doing the work for them, his hands alternating between cupping at his thighs and arse, and rubbing over his waist and stomach. He moves Robert with him, pulls and pushes him with the movement of his hips, and Robert nuzzles their foreheads together, breathing hard into Aaron’s mouth as Aaron strokes him just right from the inside, the head of his cock rubbing deliciously against the underside of his belly on the outside.

“Fuck, _fuck_!” He chants, eyes screwing up tight as he feels his insides tighten, the space between his hips growing warm as his cock begins to throb, and he feels wet running down his legs. “Aaron, fuck, please just - _fuck_.”

He feels Aaron nod against the side of his face, Aaron’s own breathing heavy as he drives his hips up harder, making Robert shout as it almost becomes too much. Aaron’s hand slips down from its place on his waist, and he brushes one knuckle against the slit of Robert’s cock as he fucks into him hard and Robert crumbles, coming hard and loud as he all but breaks, spilling across both his and Aaron’s stomachs and shaking with the force of it. 

Aaron rocks him through it, fucking him still harder and faster than before, trying to quickly find his own orgasm. When it comes Aaron stiffens between his legs and against his front, his hands clutching desperately at Robert’s hips and arse. He feels Aaron come deep inside him, his mouth pressed open against Robert’s throat, and Robert shivers, running his fingers all over Aaron’s jaw and cheeks soothingly. 

He slides from Aaron’s lap after a minute or so, legs still trembling, and carefully drops down onto his back beside him on the bed. His heart still thumps hard in his chest, breathing laboured as his eyes fall closed and he slumps into the mattress. He hears Aaron laugh quietly, the sound as breathless as he feels, and he smiles, lifting a hand to rub at his face.

“Shit,” Aaron says, the smile evident in his tone. Robert lets his eyes flutter back open and he turns his head on the pillow, catching Aaron’s eyes as Aaron slides down onto the bed properly and rolls in towards him.

“Hi.” Robert murmurs, warm and soft, biting at his lip as Aaron lays against his side. Aaron blinks lazily and shifts himself up a little onto Robert’s pillow. He licks his bottom lip, and Robert purses his mouth against a grin when Aaron tentatively lifts his arm up and curls it over his waist, palm cupping around the curve of the bump and rubbing the bare skin in circles.

“Hi,” Aaron says back, and Robert nudges their noses together, smiling when Aaron huffs a laugh and leans forward to kiss him slowly, languid as they try to get their breaths back. 

“S’good,” Robert says when they eventually break, kiss drunk and eyes half lidded as Aaron’s hands continue to trail patterns over his belly. He feels the baby move, a quick wriggle, and turns onto his side a little, trying to chase Aaron’s mouth once more.

“I can feel him movin’,” Aaron says quietly instead, and Robert can hear the utter fascination and awe in his tone. He pulls back minutely to look into Aaron’s eyes, and sees the same emotions reflected in them as in his voice. He smirks, biting at his lip as he looks over at him teasingly.

“Not surprised really. Don’t think he stood a chance of sleeping through that.”

Aaron rolls his eyes but smiles, his hand still lazily tracing circles into Robert’s skin. Robert watches him silently, sees how content he looks just to be touching their baby, the soft look on his face, and it gives him an idea, something he thinks Aaron would appreciate hugely. 

“Give me your hand.” He smiles, grinning when Aaron’s brow furrows, but he does as asked, sliding his hand up until his fingers bump against the flat of Robert’s palm. Robert takes his hand and rolls off his side onto his back, settling into the mattress as he tugs at Aaron’s hand.

“What you doin’?” Aaron half laughs, brow furrowed in confusion as he props himself up on his elbow and shuffles in closer. Robert wraps his hand over the back of Aaron’s and places it down on his skin, low of the curve of the bump and just in the dip of the left side of his pelvis.

“Can you feel that?” He asks, biting at his lip as he presses on the back of Aaron’s hand pushing it into his belly. Aaron frowns but nods, and Robert grins. 

“That’s his head,” he says softly, holding Aaron’s hand in place as he watches his eyes widen in amazement. He carefully and slowly then slides Aaron’s hand up and around the side of the bump, following the curve until it tapers just below his chest. “His back is curled around here, and his feet are _all_ the way over here.”

He slips their hands over to his right ribs and uses his fingers to prod hard into the skin, remembering where he’d last felt the baby kick. The response is immediate, a sharp jab of toes back against the pressure, and Robert laughs when Aaron curses under his breath.

“Is it alright to do that?!” Aaron asks worried, pushing himself up higher as he glances between Robert’s face and their joined hands. “Don’t it hurt him?”

“He’s fine.” Robert smiles reassuringly, shifting Aaron’s palm to follow the little flurry of kicks. “Do it every now and again when he hasn’t moved for a while. Or if he’s spent too long with his fist in my kidney.”

Aaron laughs something small and bright, smoothing his thumb in small circles, and Robert’s heart swells at the sound.

“It’s amazin’,” Aaron says lowly, his eyes unmoving from Robert’s belly, their hands still pressed together. “D’you know how long I’ve just wanted to do this?”

Robert looks at him with a raised eyebrow and he sees Aaron flush, his lips parting as if he hadn’t meant to say anything.

“I – like, I don’t mean – ”

“It’s fine.” Robert laughs, squeezing the back of Aaron’s hand reassuringly, enamoured at seeing him so uncharacteristically flustered. “You’re an alpha and he’s yours, as Vic likes telling me, it’s ‘GCSE Biology Rob’.”

Aaron’s mouth quirks, but his cheeks still stained a rosy shade of pink which Robert’s stomach flutters at. He licks at his lip and pulls his hand from under Robert’s, slipping it down to cup more comfortably under the curve of his belly.

“It’s weird.” Aaron murmurs quietly, his voice so soft and hand so gentle on his skin that Robert feels his eyes start to drift closed. “Like I’d see ya and I’d just – I’d just want to touch ya.”

“Well you can.” Robert replies sleepily, nuzzling his head into the pillow and sighing as Aaron’s thumb brushes over what is still left visible of his hipbone. “Whenever you want, feels nice.”

Aaron hums and Robert feels him curl in closer, their legs all but intertwining and foreheads pushed together.

“Are we gonna talk about this?” Aaron breathes, and Robert can hear the tiredness in his voice too, the movements of his hand slowing to sleepy pets.

“Tomorrow.” He answers in nothing more than a mumble, snuggling in closer and lifting his hand to rub along the outside of Aaron’s bicep. The skin warm and soft and so familiar under his palm, and all he desperately wants is a night lying beside him. 

“We can talk about it tomorrow.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *peers from behind curtain and waves* hi... is anyone there?
> 
>  
> 
> (I can only tell you how sorry I am that this update has taken pretty much a year to get posted! Honestly I never intended for such a long break. At the start of the year I made the decision to stop watching Emmerdale purely because Robron's storyline was just making me so mad that I no longer found it worth it, and that coupled with a severe case of writer's block, a new job, and hunting for my first house, meant that writing just kind of got put on the back burner a bit. However! I didn't give up on this fic and I soldiered on, ...just very very slowly. So in apology please accept this chapter which is the longest one to date, and I can only sincerely hope that it is worth the wait, because I know that it has been a very, _very_ long one.
> 
> To those of you (if any!) who are still around, thank you so much for being patient with me and I will do my utmost to make sure that it doesn't take another year for the next update. xo)

When Robert stirs Aaron is still sleeping beside him, still sharing the same pillow and his arm curled over his waist.

They’d moved under the covers at some point, the winter chill beginning to prick at their skin. Aaron had cuddled close into him, his nose burying in the crown of Robert’s hair, and Robert had hummed softly, sinking into his embrace, content, as the street below had quietened as the hours ticked by. 

Now though, the light is starting to stream through the thin gap in the curtains, and Robert moans a little, shifting in Aaron’s arms as the alpha’s palm twitches against his spine.

“You ‘wake?” Robert asks roughly, blinking his eyes open blearily, and slowly rubbing his hand in soothing motions over the back of Aaron’s upper arm and up to his shoulder. Aaron groans but nods, and his legs slide against Robert’s under the duvet.

“Yeah.” He sighs tiredly, voice quiet and gruff. His eyelids are shuttered, and Robert catches the faintest hint of blue through his lashes. “Yeah, m’wake.”

Robert smiles and shifts in closer, ducking his head down under Aaron’s chin and sliding his arm around his back, their bodies now pressed together from head to toe; Aaron’s warm and musky scent strong where Robert nuzzles his nose against his throat.

“This okay?” He asks quietly, tentative as he runs his thumb in small circles under Aaron’s shoulder blade. He feels Aaron nod and sinks into him relieved.

“Yeah.” Aaron mumbles, his tone soft as he pulls Robert in closer still by the small of his back. “S’fine. Feels good.”

Robert nods and licks his lower lip, the skin dry from sleep, and tilts his head up to place a kiss to the soft skin of Aaron’s jaw, his stubble scratching deliciously against his philtrum. Aaron hums and his hand skates down Robert’s side, coming to cup underneath the curve of Robert’s arse, around the back of his thigh. Robert feels him sigh and he hitches his leg up higher over Aaron’s, holding him back close and letting his eyes slip shut again contentedly.

He allows himself to drift somewhere halfway between wakefulness and sleep, Aaron’s gentle breaths against the crown of his head almost a lullaby leading him back to unconsciousness willingly. But as the minutes pass he feels Aaron begin to stir again and knows that as much as he’d like, the moment can’t last much longer.

“We need to talk.” Aaron murmurs resignedly, almost on que as he pulls his head back a little. Robert sighs too and leans back to rest his head on the pillow, a sinking river of dread running through him as he thinks about what Aaron might say.

“You’re right.” He admits though, glancing down at where his hand is curled around Aaron’s elbow, thumb pressed in the crook and soft against where his pulse beats. Aaron pushes himself up a little higher in the bed, and Robert is forced to let go of him, feeling a pang in his chest that he can’t help but think symbolic.

Aaron sits quietly for a moment before he breathes out heavily, rubbing at his eyes. 

“You hurt me,” he says, tone underscored with residual pain; Robert swallows, turning his eyes away. “And not only that, ya lied too, over and over.”

“I’m sorry.” He replies, sincere as he turns to look back at Aaron, pushing himself up in the bed as well. “Aaron, you’ll never, _ever_ know how sorry I am – ”

“I know.” Aaron cuts him off with a nod. “I know you are.”

Robert wets his lip and exhales heavily, he sees Aaron rub at his face and sigh again, dropping his head back against the headboard of the bed. 

“Would you have told me?” He asks carefully, peering down at Robert from under his lashes. Robert raises an eyebrow, puzzled, and Aaron smiles sadly. “I mean would you have told me about him?” He continues, nodding down to where Robert’s belly rounds out the covers. “Y’know, if we hadn’t nearly lost him.”

Robert pauses and shuffles again against the pillows, bringing himself up level with Aaron. He presses his hand against his stomach instinctively, repressing a shiver when he thinks back to that night in the hospital, the smell of antiseptic bleach and blood that’d filled his nostrils as he’d forced himself not to panic – a flash of a recent dream that’d seemed all too real. 

“Eventually, I think.” He answers, truthfully, remembering the subconscious pull he’d felt towards Aaron, the same pull he _still_ feels even now, sat beside him in bed with the memory of his skin pressed into his fingertips. “It was… hard. I just wanted to be near ya, a lot. I mean why’d you think I offered to help Andy out at the farm aye? Or why I even asked Vic to call you in the first place? I don’t think I could have kept it from you, not for long anyway.”

Aaron nods, biting at his lip but Robert can tell he’s not convinced. He moves in closer, reaching for one of Aaron’s hands settled in his lap and taking it in his own, smoothing his thumb over the bone on the back of his wrist.

“I came to see you,” he says softly, squeezing the back of his hand until Aaron looks over at him, their eyes meeting. “The day after I found out, I came to the portacabin. You were angry at me still, about Donny and everythin’, but I just… I needed to see you. I hadn’t even told Chrissie, didn’t even know if I wanted to either, but you – ” He swallows, breathing out shakily from between his lips. “There was a part of me that just wanted to tell you, needed you to know.”

“So why didn’t you?” Aaron asks, curious and without accusation, his brow furrowed as he scans his eyes over Robert’s face.

“Because I was a coward.” Robert answers thickly, glancing down to where his hand is still curled around Aaron’s, and shrugs. “Because I thought I’d lose everythin’ I’d worked for, what I thought I wanted. And then when you found out I was pregnant and you said you were glad he wasn’t yours, it was a reason not to. You didn’t want him but Chrissie did; everyone got what they wanted if I kept quiet.”

He sees Aaron nod and his legs pull up under the duvet, him leaning forward to rest his forearms on his knees. “And is that what you want? Still, deep down? You and Chrissie. Would this just be settlin’?”

“No.” Robert replies immediately, shaking his head and looking at Aaron unblinkingly. “No, this is what I want, you and me. And I know that might be hard to believe – ”

Aaron snorts and rubs at his jaw in agreement, but Robert continues regardless.

“ – because if I was you, based on what I’d seen I’d find it hard to believe too; but it’s true and I mean it. I loved Chrissie.” And at that he sees Aaron wince. “And I loved her money and the lifestyle that came with it – I’ll admit that okay – but how I feel about you? It doesn’t compare. I’m _in love_ with you, Aaron, and if I admit it to myself I probably have been since you didn’t throw me to the curb last Christmas like you should have.”

Aaron smiles weakly at that and he toys with his lower lip between his teeth. He rubs his hands over his knees and sighs, looking down at his lap as he presses his fingers against his eyes.

“I shouldn’t want this,” he says tiredly, and Robert holds his breath, watching him intently as Aaron leans back against the headboard again and continues to pull at his lip. “But I do. I want ya, and I want what you said before. Us and our boy, a proper family for him.”

“Then we can have it,” Robert says quickly, moving in closer to Aaron, placing his hand on Aaron’s knee and rubbing soothingly. “There’s nothin’ stopping us Aaron. We can do whatever we want.”

“I know.” Aaron answers, his voice quiet as he looks at Robert softly, his eyes open and bright in the warm glow of the early morning sun. “It’s just… scary innit? What if it all goes wrong? What if we make a mess of it and he gets hurt?”

“We won’t,” Robert says earnestly, reaching for Aaron’s hand again and squeezing the back of it. “Yeah we might row a bit, ‘cause it’s what we do, but I swear to ya Aaron, I won’t let you down ever again. And as for the baby, we both love him right? We both want what’s best for him?”

Aaron nods slowly, still chewing at his lip, and Robert smiles reassuringly as he curls his thumb around Aaron’s.

“Then why would he ever get hurt?”

Aaron smiles briefly, it wobbly and hesitant and Robert feels a tug of uncertainty. He wipes at his eyes with his free hand and Robert frowns when he sees the cling of moisture in his lashes; but Aaron nods before he can ask what’s wrong, and sighs, turning his hand palm up under Robert’s.

“Yeah, you’re right,” he says thickly, smiling again and sniffing as he rubs at his nose. “Course you are.”

The corner of Robert’s lip twitches upwards and he carefully threads their fingers through one another’s, feeling the callouses on Aaron’s fingertips press against the skin of his wrist. “So… we okay?”

Aaron nods and lowers his legs, moving forward and cupping his right hand around Robert’s cheek, pulling him down into a slow kiss. Robert sighs happily into his mouth and flicks his tongue against the seam of Aaron’s lips, moaning when Aaron kisses him back harder.

He pulls away eventually, breathing heavily as he presses his forehead against Aaron’s, grinning widely. Aaron moves to kiss him again and Robert ducks his head, reluctant, as Aaron frowns.

“Sorry,” he says apologetically, pulling a pained smile as Aaron looks at him in confusion. “But he’s sittin’ right on my bladder and I’m dyin’ for a piss.”

Aaron rolls his eyes but smirks, leaning back as Robert awkwardly climbs from the bed. “Romantic.”

“Yeah well, get used to it.” He winks, pressing his hand against his belly as he looks at Aaron over his shoulder. Aaron sighs and slumps against the headboard, looking at him with a fond expression on his face.

“Robert?” Aaron’s voice says suddenly, tentative as Robert reaches for the door handle for the bathroom. Robert pauses and raises an eyebrow, turning slightly to look at him with curiosity.

“It – it wasn’t that I didn’t want him,” he says carefully, and Robert blinks, his grip loosening on the handle as he waits for Aaron to continue, unsure of where Aaron’s line of conversation will go. Aaron looks down at his hands in his lap and licks at his lip, shrugging once. 

“I just – I never wanted kids.” He continues, glancing up at Robert, his shoulders pulling in on himself until he appears small, almost vulnerable, in the bed. “After my mum and – ” Robert sees him swallow hard, cutting himself off as he rubs at his face. He sighs heavy and shrugs again. “Well, I didn’t think I’d be any good y’know? Didn’t think I’d have it in me to be a good dad.”

Robert smiles at him sadly, and presses one hand again to his stomach as the baby wiggles. 

“Well for what it’s worth, I think you’ll be a great dad,” he says softly, and he sees Aaron’s mouth twitch hesitantly. “Much better than me at any rate.”

He pushes open the door to the bathroom before Aaron can answer and exhales heavily, rubbing a hand against the side of his face, as he pads his way barefoot across the cold floor tiles.

*****

When he eventually gets back to Keeper’s, Victoria is on him before he can even close the door.

“And where the _hell_ have you been?!” She shouts, all but storming out of the front room, her hair a tangled mess on the top of her head and dark circles around her eyes. “I’ve called you like 20 times Robert!”

Robert frowns at her and kicks off his shoes, moving past her and dropping the carrier bag down onto the stairs as he strips off his coat. “And who d’you think you are Vic? My mother?”

“No, you’re just my heavily pregnant brother who disappeared off the face of the Earth for 24 hours and didn’t tell anyone where he was goin’!” She snaps, folding her arms around her waist. “Anythin’ could have happened Robert! Sorry for carin’!”

He sighs and picks up the bag again, gesturing towards her with it.

“I did some shopping alright? Finally got some stuff for the baby.”

“And you want me to believe you’ve spent the entire day, _and night_ , in Debenhams?” She replies with a raised eyebrow, sarcasm bleeding from every inch of her. “You think I’m a mug?”

He sighs again and shrugs, moving around her and through into the living room, dropping the bag onto the sofa as he hears her follow. “Alright, fine. I went to Blackpool.”

“Blackpool?” She frowns, pulling a confused face at him, her nose wrinkling. “Why did you go all the way to Blackpool? And most of all, how’d ya even get there?”

He bites his lip and shrugs, looking around the room absently as he tries to not make it sound like as much of a deal as it feels. The taste of Aaron’s mouth is still heavy on his tongue from when they’d kissed – snogged if he was being honest with himself – in the front of Aaron’s car, parked behind The Woolpack not 5 minutes ago. Aaron’s hand had been in the front of his coat and pressed warmly against his belly, his hair soft and curly in Robert’s fingers where he’d washed out the remnants of the gel that morning; it’d sent Robert’s pulse racing, and he’d all but had to force himself away, leaving him with one last kiss as he’d climbed out of the car.

“Aaron,” he says casually, briefly glancing at Vic from the corner of his eye. “He drove us.”

Vic’s eyes widen and she steps closer, any residual anger drifting away as she looks at him in surprise. 

“So you and Aaron went to Blackpool, yesterday, and you didn’t come back?”

He nods and Vic’s eyebrow climbs higher, if possible. “Yeah, that’s about the jist of it.”

She sits herself down on the edge of the sofa and blinks up at him, head tilted to the side curiously. 

“So… does that mean…?” She trails off pointedly. Robert bites at his lip to stop the grin breaking out over his face and nods once, almost nonchalant, with a shrug.

“We’ve decided to take it slow,” he says, eyes sparkling as Vic’s face all but lights up. “See how things go.”

Vic makes a noise that he can only describe as a squeal, and leaps up, wrapping her arms around him tight and squeezing. He stumbles back a little with a winded huff, but hugs her back, burying his smile into the top of her head.

“Oh Rob! I’m so happy for you! I _knew_ you two would sort it out, eventually.” She trails off, pulling back from the hug and beaming up at him, her hands still pressed against the outside of his arms. “You should invite him round one night, I can do a tea for the 4 of us.”

“You did hear the word ‘slow’, right Vic?” Robert says with a laugh, moving to sit down on the armchair. Vic folds her arms around her waist and rocks on her feet, still looking at him with a smile.

“Well how slow you plannin’ on taking it? You’ll have a baby in what, 8 weeks?” She replies, raising an eyebrow and pulling an amused face. “After that you won’t have any time for slow, you’ll barely have time for a nap between ya.”

He sighs and looks at her fondly, feeling warm inside that his little sister is so clearly made up for him, when he imagines that others elsewhere won’t take the news so well and so kindly. It feels better than he ever imagined it would, to have that approval, and he wants to hold onto the relief it brings to him for as long as he can.

“Look, I know you’re excited,” he says slowly, his lips still curled as they fight back a grin; Vic continuing to look at him as if indulging a delusional child. “But, I don’t want to mess things up, and if that means Aaron isn’t ready for somethin’ serious for 2 or 3 months, or 2 or 3 _years_ then I’ll wait, ‘cause he’s worth it.”

“Aww, you really are smitten aren’t ya?” Vic coos, her lip pouting as she steps forward and ruffles his hair fondly. He bats her away with a roll of his eyes and she pulls her hand back, her expression almost verging on a smirk. “ _But_ … I give it a month before you go and do somethin’ daft. Like run off to Vegas and get wed.”

He scoffs, leaning back against the pillows as Vic moves to walk out of the room. 

“Did you forget the part where I’m still married Vic?” He call as he twists his head to watch her as she all but skips from the room. Vic smiles and shrugs as she pauses in the doorway, gesturing with her arms out by her sides.

“Well, wouldn’t exactly be the first time you’ve done summat you weren’t supposed to. Would it?”

*****

His name had been Tom.

He’d been 17, tall, with mousey brown hair that curled at the nape. Andy had grumbled that he hadn’t been anything special, but that still hadn’t stopped Katie and Donna whispering to each other in between nervous giggles whenever he’d walked past with a bale of hay resting on his shoulder. 

Robert had rolled his eyes at Andy’s caveman routine every time the new farmhand had got within a 5 metre radius, the way he’d puff up his chest and square his shoulders. The alpha posturing taken to another level at the perceived threat to his sickening romance with Katie.

“I just don’t get it.” Andy had whined again one afternoon as they’d leant up against the barn wall, school ties loose around their necks as they’d watched Donna, Katie and Eve all chat away, moon eyed, with Tom as he’d fixed up one of the broken fence panels to the field. “It’s not like he’s even good looking!”

Robert had sighed exasperated once more and scanned his eyes over Andy’s new public enemy number 1. He’d taken in the way Tom’s cheeks had dimpled as he’d laughed at something Donna had said, how his hair had reflected almost red under the afternoon sun. How the muscles in his biceps had looked, tensed and tanned as he’d propped his elbow up on the fence post, skin soft looking and smooth…

He’d cleared his throat roughly and looked away sharply, jamming his hands in his trouser pockets as he’d felt his cheeks burn in shame. 

“Nah,” he’d said in reply, aware that Andy would have been expecting a response. “He’s a bit of a munter ‘int he? Only a 2 I’d say – you’re at least a 3.”

“Fuck off!” Andy had retorted, brow furrowed as he’d shoved at the top of Robert’s arm. “Like you’re any better!”

Robert had smirked as Andy had huffed and stormed away back towards the house, off for another sulk of epic proportions. He’d continued to grin to himself as he’d turned his head back around, settling himself against the barn wall again and folding his arms smugly. As his gaze had drifted back across the yard towards the still fawning girls, he’d caught Tom’s attention, and he’d felt that dreaded tug in his lower belly as Tom’s eyes had flickered quickly over him from head to toe. His plush lips quirked, knowingly.

*****

He’s walking across the street to the café the following morning when he hears her voice – loud and demanding – and he sighs exasperatedly, closing his eyes.

“Oi!” Chas shouts, her heels clicking as she practically runs after him, holding her large black, faux fur coat closed with her one hand against the morning chill. “What d’ya think you’re playin’ at? I thought I told you to stay away from him?!”

“Mornin’ Chas!” He says, turning on his heel and sending her an overly sarcastic smile. “Guess Aaron told you then?”

“‘Course he did!” She snaps in reply, slowing her pace down as she gets closer to him, her jaw tense. “He vanished for 2 days, you really think I was gonna just let him brush it off like nothin’?”

He buries his hands in his jeans pockets and pretends to look thoughtful, feeling Chas’ eyes burning into the side of his head as he glances off into the distance. “And let me see, you told Aaron all the reasons why he’s making a huge mistake, right?”

“Well he is! He’d have to be an idiot to let you back in again!” She scolds bitingly, and Robert feels a flicker of offence on Aaron’s behalf. “You ruined his _life_ , and you’ll do it all over again!”

“Y’know don’t you ever get sick of parroting the same thing over and over?” He bites back, scowling as he turns more fully to face her. Chas smirks nastily and shakes her head, folding her arms around herself triumphant.

“Not when it’s true, no.”

Robert shakes his own head, the smile on his face nothing more than a warped sneer as he looks down at her, her sheer audacity ruffling his feathers beyond anything else. He shrugs though, trying to brush it off, and decides to play her at her own game, ruffle some feathers right back.

“You see the thing that you don’t seem to get Chas, is that it doesn’t matter what you do or don’t say anyway,” he says simply, pulling a dismissive face as he sees her frown, brow wrinkling behind the scattered strands of her fringe. “You’re already too late. Like it or not me and Aaron are having a child, together, _your_ grandson. And if you’d like my advice, I’d keep your nose out of mine and Aaron’s business if you want any chance of seein’ him.”

“You wouldn’t.” She barks, her teeth almost bared as she steps in closer to him. “You wouldn’t _dare_! Aaron would never stand – ”

“You’re right, I wouldn’t dare.” He cuts her off calmly, ducking his head down a little so he can meet her eyes, the brown of them almost blazing with anger as she glares back. “But the point is Chas, I wouldn’t have to do anythin’. Because _Aaron_ would be the one keeping you out.”

She shakes her head, her jaw clenched tight as she jabs a finger towards him. “You’re wrong, Aaron would _never, ever_ do that to me. He knows how much that little boy means to me!”

“But he also wants what’s best for him.” He replies pointedly. “He wants our son to know he’s loved and that he’s safe – and the one thing he doesn’t want is him used as a pawn, he’s made that very, very clear.” He adds, thinking back to Aaron’s face the morning before, his frame looking so unnaturally small and vulnerable in the middle of the bed as he’d talked about their son getting hurt, about how if they ended up going down in flames would their son end up caught in the blaze. 

“So if I was you Chas, I’d back down,” he says, stepping back as Chas swallows, her expression tense and almost afraid as she looks at him with wide eyes. “Let your son make his own choices and decide his own life for once. Otherwise you might not find yourself in it at all.”

And with that he turns away from her, hands still buried in his pockets and shoulders straight. He doesn’t look back at her, doesn’t need to, and continues on his way to the café, pushing the door open with a single shove.

*****

2 hours later he’s back in his single room at Vic’s, carrier bag of baby clothes emptied across his bed as he tries to sort them into what free space he has available in his chest of drawers. He sighs, frustrated and often, and tries to shove more of his own clothes away in the bottom of his wardrobe, awkwardly climbing down onto his knees and pulling out piles of rumpled jeans.

His phone rings as he’s folding the assortment of tiny baby grows to slip into the middle drawer, and he shuffles over on his knees with a grumble to snatch it up from the bed.

“Hello?” He says sharply as he jabs at the green button; feeling a pang of regret when he hears Aaron’s soft voice answer.

_“Hey. Er sorry, this a bad time or summat?”_

“No! No it’s fine.” He protests, shoving himself up awkwardly and turning to sit down on the end of the bed with a sigh. “Sorry just, trying to sort out where I’m gonna put the baby’s stuff. Not going so well.”

 _“Yeah, not surprised.”_ Aaron snorts from down the line. _“There ain’t room to swing a cat in there.”_

“Tell me about it.” He mutters with a smile, rubbing at the side of his face as he looks around the room, at the devastation just 15 minutes of moving clothes around has caused. “Was looking at houses again this mornin’ but still can’t find anything I like, think I might just have to accept that I’m stuck here for a bit longer.”

 _“You’re lookin’ at houses?”_ Aaron’s voice asks, and Robert can hear a slight tone to it, something a little put out, that makes him frown slightly. _“You never said.”_

“Well yeah,” he says carefully, trailing his words off a bit as he places a hand to his stomach and looks around the tiny room, pulling a face. “I mean, can’t stay here forever can I? Like you said, you can’t swing a cat in here, let alone bring up a baby.”

He hears Aaron hum in reply, the sound still not quite right, and listens in closely as he hears Aaron shuffling about in the background.

 _“Where you er, been lookin’ then?”_ He asks eventually, and Robert sighs, shrugging his shoulders even though he knows Aaron can’t see.

“Just… everywhere. Hotten, Leeds mainly. It’s just trying to find somethin’ decent that’s the problem, surprisingly there isn’t much out there at the moment.”

 _“And is that where you wanna go? Leeds?”_ Aaron replies, and Robert can definitely sense the frown he imagines is on Aaron’s face just in the tone of his voice.

“Well not really,” he says truthfully, feeling the same pang of dismay he’d initially felt when he’d first started looking and discovered nothing available within striking distance of the village. “But everything around here is tied up, don’t have much of a choice.”

 _“Are ya only lookin’ to buy?”_ Aaron asks quickly, and Robert’s brow furrows.

“Er well, I mean buying’s better long term, you at least get some investment out of it, but I suppose renting could be alright for a while. Why?”

 _“‘Cause Paddy mentioned the other day that Pearl’s moved into his,”_ Aaron says, sounding a little brighter than he had a few moments before. _“Dunno why exactly – summat to do with money I think – but it means Pearl’s place is free. It’s only been a couple of days so doubt Eric’s got someone lined up yet.”_

Robert’s eyebrow arches, his interest piqued, and he bites thoughtfully at his lip. It wouldn’t be ideal. Renting again – particularly after living the high life up at Home Farm – seeming like a bit of a step back, especially considering he had the capital now in the bank to buy something outright; but it would mean he could stick around in the village, could keep himself and the baby close to Aaron all the time instead of just on weekends and the odd evening together. 

“It’s not a bad shout,” he finds himself saying, a small smile beginning to pull at his mouth. “I’ll speak to Eric tomorrow, see what I can do.”

 _“Worth a try innit?”_ Aaron says rhetorically, and Robert nods, biting at his thumbnail as his earlier spat with Chas creeps back up on him. Aaron’s affability implying that she hasn’t yet spoken to him and poisoned the well.

“I erm… I saw your mum earlier…” He trails off hesitantly, unsure if he should open the can of worms; but to his surprise he hears Aaron snort and he pauses, waiting for Aaron to continue.

 _“Guessed so.”_ He replies, sounding so matter of fact that it throws Robert a little. _“She went out and then when she came back she had a right face on her. Thought she must’ve run into you.”_

“Charming!” Robert huffs, feeling indignant as he hears Aaron chuckle under his breath. 

_“Well if the shoe fits…”_ Aaron trails off, before he sighs and Robert hears him moving around again. _“She weren’t happy when I told her.”_ He continues, sounding more sombre and tired than before. _“Didn’t let up about it all night, just kept sayin’ I was wreckin’ my life. Ain’t even spoken to her properly today really.”_

Robert purses his lips and breathes heavily out through his nose, a flicker of guilt burning inside him. 

“You know if this is gonna be too much,” he says slowly, even as he curses himself for putting the idea out there, for allowing Aaron to entertain any doubts he may have. “If it’s gonna wreck things between you and your mum – ”

 _“Robert.”_ Aaron cuts him off, and Robert’s jaw closes with a click. _“I wanna be with ya. And yeah, me mum can go off as much as she wants but it won’t change anythin’. I know what I want. And she’s just gonna have to deal with it, simple as.”_

He swallows and nods, scrubbing one hand through the back of his hair. “As long as you’re sure though.”

 _“I am.”_ Aaron replies, and he sounds so self-assured that Robert slumps a little in relief, shoulders untensing from where he hadn’t known he’d tightened them. _“Look why don’t we go to Bob’s in the mornin’, go get breakfast or summat? You can show me what houses you’re lookin’ at.”_

“Alright,” Robert says, smiling softly and biting the corner of his lip. “It’s a date.”

He hears Aaron groan and can almost see him rolling his eyes. 

_“Seriously, you always been this cheesy?”_ He asks rhetorically, as Robert hears some noise in the background and Aaron sighs, his voice muffled as he obviously pulls the phone away from his mouth. _“Sorry I’ve gotta go, Adam’s done with the boiler bloke and he’s whingin’, but I’ll text you later yeah?”_

Robert nods again and rubs his free hand over the top of his thigh. “Yeah sure, I’ll speak to you later.”

Aaron says a quick ‘bye’ and hangs up; Robert lowers the phone from his ear and drops it down onto the bed. He exhales slowly as he looks around the room, the smile still pulling hesitantly at his mouth – even as he takes in the destruction still scattered across the floor.

*****

He’d been on an excitable edge all morning, jittery and anxious and desperate to leave and head down to the village to tell Aaron all about his plan.

It’d cost a pretty penny the suite, but he’d known it would be worth it. The chance of getting to spread Aaron out on 1000 thread count Egyptian cotton sheets all day and all night, completely priceless in the grand scheme of things. Throw in the added bonus of room service and a nicely cut suit to peel Aaron out of, and he hadn’t been surprised that he’d struggled like on kid on Christmas Eve to get to sleep the night before. 

Eventually he’d been set free just after 9, Chrissie waving him off with a lingering kiss and a soft pout. He’d driven down to the village, humming happily to himself and tapping his fingertips in time to the beat of the song playing away on the radio. Aaron had mentioned that he’d planned to meet Adam in the café first thing in a grumbled conversation the day before, and so Robert had headed there straight away, shoving his phone into his jeans pocket as he’d pushed open the door.

He’d seen Aaron immediately, sat on the chair closest to the door opposite Adam, and he’d butted his way into the conversation with ease. A couple of jibes at Adam later and he’d had him scurrying from his seat and out of the door, and he’d taken his seat with a smirk and a stretched splay of his legs. 

“Thought you’d be too busy watchin’ your porn stash to come down here?” Aaron had snarked, lacing his fingers together as he’d slumped in his chair, elbows propped on the arms. Robert had shaken his head with a roll of his eyes, and had flexed his thighs, hands skating down over the tops of his legs as he’d signed in annoyance at the fact that little barney with Chrissie had somehow made its rounds in the village.

“It wasn’t my porn. I live with a fourteen year old alpha, do the maths.” He’d retorted, gesturing with his hands and settling back against the cushions. Aaron had shaken his head exasperated and had looked away across the room, thumbs twitching against one another tellingly.

“Don’t tell me you’re jealous?” Robert had teased with a smirk, flicking his gaze over Aaron’s body, taking in the way his shoulders had held square and tensed. Aaron had pulled a face and wrinkled his nose.

“Nah.” He’d drawled, affecting an air of nonchalance. “I know that’s not your style.” 

Robert had raised an eyebrow in reply and had slumped further into the sofa, legs spreading wider invitingly as he’d found the segue he needed to reveal his plan. “Well in that case, what d’you day to a hotel later? This one’s even better than the last one, 4 stars, the works. Give us a chance to dress up a little.”

Aaron had shrugged, mouth pouting in a moue of disinterest. “Can’t. I’m working.”

Robert had rolled his eyes, holding his hands out beside his thighs. 

“Well so should I.” He’d retorted pointedly. “But I’d much rather spend the day with you, alone.

“Besides.” He’d drawled, deliberately racking his gaze up Aaron’s body, letting his gaze linger on Aaron’s firm thighs and the way his shirt had stretched across his chest. “Bet you’d look good in a suit.”

Aaron’s lips had twitched in a smirk at that and Robert had grinned cheekily in reply, knowing from the break in Aaron’s façade that he’d be peeling him out of said suit by the end of the day.

*****

He pushes open the door to the café just after 9. He sees Aaron straight away, sat at one of the tables, scrolling through his phone with 2 mugs and couple of plates in front of him. Robert smiles to himself and walks over to him, Aaron looking up from his phone when he drags the free chair out.

“Alright?” Aaron says with a nod, leaning back in his seat and slipping his phone into his jeans pocket. Robert lowers himself down into the chair and grins, nodding his head too as Aaron smiles back. 

“Not too bad.” He answers, and shifts the chair in a little, pointing at the fullest mug and raising an eyebrow. “This for me?”

“Yeah,” Aaron says, moving the mug closer so Robert can pick it up. “Got you a cinnamon swirl too, didn’t know if you’d’ve eaten or not.”

Robert smiles at him softly and sips at his coffee, it still warm and exactly how he likes it. He licks his upper lip as he places the mug back down, dragging the plate closer to him by his index finger. 

“It’s great, thank you.” He replies happily, dabbing his finger at a few stray crumbs on the plate. “So, does this mean I can expect coffee and pastries every mornin’?”

Aaron snorts and drinks from his own mug, both of his hands wrapped carefully around it. “Yeah, keep dreamin’.”

“I’d make it worth your while.” He smirks, winking as he pulls pieces off the swirl and sees a tiny flush to Aaron’s cheeks. “And you know I would too.”

Aaron mumbles something under his breath and scratches at his beard, looking away from Robert as his cheeks pinken further. The bell above the door chimes and Robert feels a cold blast of air against his back as he drinks from his coffee, sugar sticky on his lips.

“So you seein’ Eric today?” Aaron asks, clearing his throat and toying with the handle of his mug. Robert nods and lowers his coffee, wiping the sugar from the corner of his mouth with the pad of his thumb.

“Yeah, gonna pop by the B&B in a bit. See if I can strike a deal.”

Aaron smiles warmly and pulls his lower lip between his teeth. “It’d be good. Y’know, if you could get a house in the village. Make things easier.”

“Yeah, definitely.” Robert agrees, settling himself in his seat and looking over at Aaron with a teasing smile. “Means I can bring the baby over at 3 in the morning when he’s screamin’ his head off and I’ve had no sleep.”

Aaron raises an eyebrow and pulls a face, one that drags a laugh out of Robert as he picks up his coffee again.

“Good luck with that one.” Aaron mutters, but Robert can see the amusement underneath the mask of disapproval. He sips at his drink and leans one elbow on the arm of his chair, tilting his head to the side thoughtfully as he lowers his mug.

“You’re responsible for 50% of his DNA, so you’re also responsible for 50% of the sleepless nights. It’s only fair.” He smirks, it deepening when Aaron sighs and rolls his eyes, smile pulling at his lips.

“Oh aye, this looks cosy!” A heavily Geordie voice interrupts, and Robert looks up, wincing when he sees Kerry leaning against the counter, watching them both with an amused expression as she chews loudly on a piece of chewing gum. “So yous two back on? Or what’s the deal?”

It’s instinctive, the familiar clench of his jaw and wave of panic that surges up inside him, the one that makes him want to snap a denial, to run away even though this fear was something he’d never be able to run from. It must show on his face for the brief moment he feels it, and guilt runs through him when Aaron’s eyes flicker with something cool even though his expression remains stoically flat. 

“And how’s it any of your business?” Aaron replies eventually, turning his head to look at her with a scowl. Robert hears Kerry huff as he keeps his eyes lowered to the table between them.

“Alright keep ya hair on!” She trills and, Robert glances up at her, her obnoxiously large hoop earrings jangling as she rears her head back in mock offence. “Was only askin’. Just it woulda been nice to hear summat good for a change, what with one of me best mates bein’ killed ‘cause his missus went mental over the two of yas.”

Aaron rolls his eyes and Robert sees his jaw twitch, fingers clenching around the handle of his mug.

“Right got 3 cream cakes, 2 doughnuts and a chocolate twist!” Bob announces suddenly, placing a big white box down behind Kerry on the counter. She turns around and Aaron sighs heavily through his nose, scratching at the skin between his furrowed brow. Robert licks nervously at his lip and shuffles in his seat.

“Sorry.” He murmurs, glancing at Aaron from under his lashes. Aaron frowns and turns back towards him, expression puzzled.

“What?”

“I said I’m sorry.” Robert repeats a little stronger, lifting his head and swallowing as Aaron still continues to look at him bewildered. “I’m – I’m tryin’ alright. Just sometimes – ”

“Robert.” Aaron cuts him off, leaning in across the table and resting his arms over the top. A look of understanding now present in his eyes. “I get it yeah. It’s different, other people knowin’.”

Robert nods and shifts in his chair, pressing one hand comfortingly on the top of his belly. “Just a little bit yeah.”

Aaron smiles with sympathy and sucks his lower lip between his teeth, glancing down at his phone and checking the time with a sigh.

“I’m gonna have to head off,” he says apologetically, and Robert can see the hesitancy on his face. “Gotta go to Leeds, pick up some old washing machines from some interior design bloke.”

Robert nods, knowing that Aaron really does need to leave, but still feeling a little stung that he’s doing so after broaching a sensitive topic for the both of them. Aaron must sense it as he pauses, still biting at his lip with his fingers curled around his phone.

“I’ll be back about 1ish, can have dinner at the pub if ya want? Tell me what happens with Eric.”

Robert’s mouth twitches in a smile and Aaron stands up, sending a small smile back. He touches the side of Robert’s arm as he passes and Robert sucks his lower lip between his teeth, toying with the handle of his cooling mug of coffee as he absently watches Bob potter around behind the counter.

*****

Katie’s unwarranted meddling had made him more determined than ever to make sure that she wouldn’t get what she wanted …and if ruining her happiness _also_ gave him the perfect meeting place for him and Aaron, then that was just an added bonus.

Andy had been pestering him religiously about the sale of Wylie’s, and he’d known from the dogged way that Andy had refused to give it up that it would be the ideal way to drive a wedge between him and Katie. So with that knowledge in mind, he’d approached Chrissie, and had gently nudged her in the direction he’d needed.

“It’d be a little project,” he’d said, leaning up against the kitchen counter as Chrissie had stood in front of him, hands cupped around a mug of coffee as she’d looked at him thoughtfully. “Y’know, something for me to work on on the weekends.”

Chrissie had hummed and shifted from one foot to another. “I suppose it would be good for you to have something to work on, and renovating a property could be useful.”

“Right?” He’d encouraged with a grin, stepping away from the counter and curving his hands around Chrissie’s waist. “Plus, once it’s done we could probably make a bit more money from it.”

Chrissie had smiled and had shaken her head fondly, leaning to place her coffee down on the side before she’d rubbed her hands up his forearms.

“Do you ever stop thinking business?”

“Nope.” He’d teased, tugging her a little closer by her hips. “And that’s why you love me.”

Chrissie had rolled her eyes but had still continued to smooth her palms over his arms. 

“Hmm I suppose so.” She’d drawled, peering up from under her lashes and pulling at the corner of her bottom lip with her teeth. “But I’ll leave you to be the one to tell Andy and Katie that the deal’s off, I’m not quite sure I could bear Katie’s whining after that performance last week.”

He’d nodded and squeezed at her sides, making her laugh and swat at his arm as she’d pulled away. 

“Deal,” he’d said, leaning back against the counter and folding his arms across his waist. He’d failed spectacularly at hiding the accomplished grin from breaking out “Besides, I’m not sure I’d want to give you the satisfaction of being the one to wipe the smile off Katie’s face.”

“Your warm-hearted nature is what I love about you too.” Chrissie had replied as she’d reached for her handbag from the kitchen island, her tone affectionate despite the layer of exasperation. “Now I’ve got to go but I’ll see you for dinner, promise me you’ll try not to cause _too_ much trouble.”

“I’ll do my best.” He’s answered, tongue in cheek as he’d crossed his legs at his ankles. Chrissie had given him one last indulgent look before she’d headed out through the door, and Robert had pulled his phone from his pocket the moment she’d disappeared from sight, hitting the ‘new message’ icon beside Aaron’s name without a second thought.

*****

He heads over to the B&B once he’s psyched himself up, has run his strategy through his head enough times that it feels almost fool proof.

When he walks through the door he sees Finn at the reception desk, slumped in a worn-out chair and trying to balance a pen on the back of his knuckles. He clears his throat and Finn startles, the pen falling to the floor with a clatter as he jumps.

“Oh! Robert!” He fumbles, flustered and clearing his throat as he pushes himself up to sit straight. “Er, how can I help?”

Robert holds back a smirk and buries his hands in the pockets of his coat, moving closer to the desk. “I was wondering if Eric was in?” He asks, glancing around the room briefly. “Want to have a chat with him about something. Business really.”

Finn adjusts his glasses on the bridge of his nose and his mouth purses, shuffling awkwardly in his seat as he looks briefly towards the stairs. 

“Now’s probably not the best time,” he says quietly, leaning his elbows on the desk and raising an eyebrow. “Y’know, after everything with Val…”

“Well this is something in his interest.” Robert replies, cutting Finn off before he can carry on, feeling a residual squirm of guilt at the mention of Val’s name. “It’ll be doing him a favour, taking something off his plate.”

Finn looks sceptical, his lips still pursed, but he sighs and nods towards the stairs. “He’s in the office, but don’t say I didn’t warn you if doesn’t want to know.”

Robert smiles quickly in thanks and turns away to head up the stairs. He walks down the hallway, seeing the office door shut firmly closed at the end of it, and strides forward with purpose, knocking confidently on the wood before pushing down on the handle.

“I thought I said not to disturb me Fi– oh, it’s you,” Eric says, a look of disdain crossing his face as he glances back over his shoulder. Robert steps through the door and closes it behind him, burying his hands in his pockets and not allowing Eric’s derisive expression to put him off.

“Nice to see you too Eric.” He replies, nodding his head and stepping further into the room. Eric huffs and shakes his head, turning his back again as he continues to work through the pile of paperwork on his desk.

“Shame I can’t say the same.” He drawls. “Now if you wouldn’t mind leaving through the way you came, I’m very busy.”

Robert exhales through his nose and doesn’t move an inch. 

“Well in that case you might be interested in what I have to say.” He shoots back, still confident even with Eric’s determined stonewalling. “I heard Pearl’s moved out of Jacob’s Fold, and well I’d be interested in taking the lease over.”

Eric laughs once, cold and unamused, but he turns around in his desk chair, wispy eyebrows raised towards his hairline. 

“And why on Earth would I agree to that?!” He shakes his head, a bewildered smile on his face. The corner of Robert’s mouth twitches and he rocks slightly on his heels, running his eyes casually around the room. 

“Well as you said you’re a busy man, and right now searching for a new tenant is some hassle I imagine you don’t need.” 

Eric stares at him flatly and huffs, decidedly unimpressed. “And you think that person should be you? When the reason I have so much ‘hassle’ as you so put it is because of you and your insane wife?! If it wasn’t for you then my Valerie would still be here!”

Robert swallows and holds himself still, guilt once again welling up inside of him. He looks away from Eric’s heavy gaze, the slight shimmer in his eyes that he pretends he can’t see, and wet’s his lower lip as he slides his hands out of his pockets.

“I’m sorry,” he says carefully, glancing hesitantly back up at Eric’s furious face. “More than you’ll ever know about what happened to Val. She was good to me and she didn’t deserve to get caught up in the mess I caused.”

“No, she didn’t.” Eric bites out in reply, and Robert can hear the pain in his voice underneath it all, the grief that visibly seeps out of him in the lines of his face and dark circles under his eyes. “But she did anyway, and for that I’ll never forgive you.”

Robert nods and lowers his eyes again, shuffles chastised on his feet. The room falls quiet and the silence almost feels deafening under Eric’s still cold gaze. 

“I can’t change the past,” he eventually says, quiet and admonished, meeting Eric’s eyes and dropping all of the bravado he’d had when he’d first pushed open the office door. “I can’t turn back time and change all the things I’ve done, and undo all the hurt I’ve caused people, no matter how much I want to. But I’m trying to be better. I want to do what’s right, and me coming to you about this house is me trying to do what’s right for my son, to make sure he grows up with his family close by and in his life every day.”

Eric nods once, his expression still remaining stoic, but he leans back in his chair and scans his eyes up and down Robert appraisingly. 

“And presumably,” he says with consideration. “My house is your only option at doing that?”

Robert shrugs, his hands hanging limply down by his sides as Eric continues to watch him like a hawk. “Yeah, pretty much.”

Eric hums thoughtfully, and Robert feels a little apprehensive as he raises his chin, his eyes sparkling in a way that leaves him wary.

“I’ll rent Jacob’s Fold out to you,” Eric says eventually, his tone lazy and satisfied, and Robert is suddenly struck with the sense of a cat playing with a mouse. “For £1000 per month.”

Robert feels his eyes all but pop open and he snorts disbelievingly, shaking his head and rubbing at his chin. 

“You must be jokin’, it’s a 2 bed cottage!”

“You said it yourself Robert.” Eric replies dismissively, raising both hands slightly and holding his palms open. “This house is your only option.”

Robert clenches his jaw and breathes out heavily through his nose. 

“£600,” he says shortly, curbing his tongue as Eric looks at him with an overly amused expression. “And that’s way more than the going rate for a place round here.”

“No deal I’m afraid.” Eric intones, mildly entertained. He shifts in his chair and starts to turn away back towards his desk. Robert huffs and shoves his hands back into his pockets with frustration.

“Alright £650, and I’ll pay for any work that needs doin’.” He relents with gritted teeth; can already hear the sound of his bank account sobbing in despair at the money he imagines he’ll need to fork out. “Pearl’s been living there since the dawn of time, dread to think what kind of doilies and floral print is covering the place.”

Eric taps an index finger against the arm of his chair and purses his lips thoughtfully; Robert sighs and rubs a hand at his brow.

“Look, we both know you won’t get anywhere near that sort of deal from anyone else. Nobody else is that desperate to stump up that kind of cash.”

Eric remains still and unmoving, not a shred of waning to the idea on his face. Robert sighs again and slumps his shoulders, defeated, as he turns to walk away.

“I want 2 months rent up front.” Eric pipes up as Robert reaches out for the door handle. He pauses and lowers his arm, looking back over his shoulder at Eric, him now facing away and flicking through his paperwork once more. “I’ll have my solicitor draw up the contract this evening, and if you’ve got the money you can sign tomorrow.” 

Robert bites at his lip to stop the smile he can feel tugging at his mouth, and nods once even though he knows Eric can’t see.

“It’s a deal,” he says thankfully as he reaches for the door handle. “I’ll get the money to you first thing.”

Eric hums a sound of acknowledgement and Robert twists the handle down, stepping back out onto the landing and heading down the stairs with a tentative spring in his step.

*****

Aaron not showing up at the barn had cut a lot deeper than he’d expected it would.

Even though Aaron had said that he wouldn’t be there to his face, he’d just assumed that Aaron would cave as he always did, the disinterested front that he always put on eventually crumbling at the last moment. In fact he’d believed that Aaron would change his mind so much, that he’d continued to sit on the itchy bale of hay long after the sun had set and his watch had ticked past the time he’d agreed to meet Chrissie and Lawrence at the pub for. He’d held out until the last possible second, until the persistent ringing of his phone had gotten too much, and he’d had to admit defeat. Face the fact that Aaron had well and truly stood him up. 

When he’d arrived at the pub, chilled and sullen, he’d seen Aaron at the bar straight away. His jaw had tensed as their eyes had met, drawn together almost instinctively, and he’d made sure that he’d continued the prolonged eye contact as he’d greeted Chrissie with a slow kiss, not stopping until Aaron had looked away pained and drunk deeply from his pint. 

He’d waited patiently, sat pressed up against Chrissie’s side at the table as Lawrence had wittered on about the wedding and how happy he was to welcome him into the family. Had waited until Aaron had stood up from his stool at the bar and had headed towards the toilets, the hunch of his shoulders telling all about his current state of mind. Robert had excused himself from the conversation quickly and had stalked after Aaron with intent, anger and bitterness bubbling away in the pit of his stomach.

“I had something important to tell you y’know,” he’d said loudly as he’d pushed his way through the door of the men’s room, seeing Aaron stood back towards him at the sink. Aaron hadn’t reacted with more than a quick glance up at him in the mirror and a slight shrug of the shoulders.

“Yeah? Well I was busy.” Aaron had grumbled, switching off the taps and grabbing for a paper towel from the dispenser. Robert had felt his jaw flexing, growing ever more increasingly irritated with Aaron’s attitude.

“Well what I had wanted to tell you was that I’ve convinced Chrissie not to sell Wylie’s to Andy.”

Aaron had shrugged, tossing the paper into the bin and turning to lean against the sink. He’d folded his arms across his chest and had pouted his lips disinterested. “So? Why do I care that you’re screwing your brother over?”

“Because…” Robert had replied, stepping in closer towards Aaron and widening his eyes in a picture of earnestness. “I did it for us, so we could have a place to meet, somewhere that could be just for us.”

Aaron had blinked, looking a little taken aback and uncertain as he’d pulled his lower lip between his teeth, worrying at it as he’d shifted awkwardly against the sink at his back. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.” Robert had nodded in response. “We could think of it as ours.”

Aaron’s eyes had softened, and he’d rubbed his palm down the side of his face, glancing down at the floor.

“But you said – ”

“Yeah well.” He’d interrupted, cutting Aaron off with a dismissive shrug and leaning his shoulder against the bathroom wall. “I changed my mind, didn’t see why we had to stop when we’ve got a good thing.”

Aaron’s mouth had twitched up in the corner, his expression almost hopeful, and Robert had felt that burn of spite flush up under his skin again, his anger at being left out in the cold for hours egging him on to lash out and make Aaron hurt.

“But then.” He’d continued, burying his hands into his jeans pockets as his lip had curled with an edge of malice. “As I sat in the barn waiting for you it gave me time to think, and d’you wanna know what I thought about?”

Aaron’s face had fallen, and Robert had seen him almost reluctantly shake his head. 

“I thought about how stupid I must be to risk everything for _this_?” He’d frowned, eyes narrowed as he’d gestured between them both. “When I’ll have a gorgeous, _sexy_ wife at home. I mean this, this is _nothing_.”

Aaron’s lower lip had wobbled and Robert had felt a stab in the pit of his stomach at the sight of Aaron’s eyes shining brighter under the fluorescent lights. He’d shoved it away though, the regret at putting that look on his face, and had clung to the simmering bitterness like a life raft.

“This is done. It’s over,” he’d said, and had turned and walked away just as Aaron’s first tear had fallen.

*****

Aaron texts him just after 12 and Robert all but scrambles up from the sofa at the sight of his message, yanking on his coat as he rushes out the door and across the street. Aaron is stood at the bar when he finally gets inside the pub, tapping a battered beer mat against the wood top and chewing at his lip.

“Hey,” Robert says with a smile, as he steps up beside him, ignoring the frown Chas sends his way over her shoulder as she busies herself with pouring a glass of wine. “You alright?”

Aaron turns towards him and smiles back, nodding his head with a shrug as he drops the beer mat down lazily. “Yeah not too bad. You want a drink?”

“Yeah I’ll have a coke, thanks,” he says, leaning his elbow against the bar top and moving in beside Aaron. Aaron raises an eyebrow, his lip twitching in amusement, and he props his foot up on the ring around the bottom of the bar, slipping his wallet from his pocket. 

“Wild.” He smirks, and Robert rolls his eyes with a fond huff. Aaron nods his head over towards the back bench and tables and taps his wallet against his palm. “You get us a table and I’ll bring the drinks over.”

He does as asked and threads his way through to grab one of the free tables at the back, sinking down onto the padded bench with a sigh. He watches Aaron at the bar with what he imagines is soft eyes, and smiles at him again when he turns around with their drinks and a couple of menus in hand. 

“So how did it go?” Aaron says as he places his pint and Robert’s coke down on the table, shuffling in beside Robert on the bench; their thighs press together comfortably and Robert’s chest floods with warmth. “With Eric obviously.”

Robert slides his glass closer to himself and breathes in deeply, looking at Aaron and nodding his head. “Well it took a bit of talking round, but the good news is that he’s willing to rent the place out to me.”

Aaron bites at the corner of his lip as a smile tries to break through, turning in a towards Robert a little more and tapping his thumb against the side of his glass. “That’s great Robert.”

He flashes a small smile and takes a sip from his drink; Aaron can obviously sense the hesitance in his demeanour however, and his brow furrows slightly. 

“So, guessing there’s a catch yeah?” He says with a brief sigh and roll of his eyes. Robert nods and lowers his glass down again.

“Well, it’s not really a _catch_.” He trails off, rubbing his index finger through the condensation on the side of the glass in zig-zag patterns. “But he wants £650 a month rent, and all the renovations and repairs need to come out of my pocket.”

“What?” Aaron replies flatly, his eyes widening as he shuffles in his seat, shaking his head. “Is he havin’ a laugh?”

“Afraid not.” He sighs, leaning back against the wood of the bench and resting one hand on top of his belly. “He blames me, for what happened to Val, and this is his way of making me pay. Literally.”

“But that weren’t your fault.” Aaron protests, and the earnestness with which he does so makes Robert swallow heavily. 

“Well that’s up for debate,” he says quietly, holding a hand up when Aaron goes to argue further. “I did a lot of things wrong Aaron, we both know that. And if I’d been honest with myself and hadn’t done the things I did to Chrissie, then she never would have done what she did, and Val would still be here.”

“But you didn’t _make_ Chrissie torch ya car.” Aaron insists, twisting further towards Robert in his seat and ducking his head to keep eye contact. “She did that all herself.”

“I know,” Robert says, relenting with a slow exhale, turning the glass in between his palms. “But he’s grieving, and he wants someone to blame. You can’t hold that against him.”

Aaron dips his chin a little and reaches for his pint again, taking a long swallow and licking the foam from his upper lip as he sighs disgruntled. “So what you gonna do then?”

“Well I don’t have much choice do I?” Robert shrugs, rubbing one hand over the crest of his stomach as the baby squirms against his lower rib. “I’m gonna have to take it and pay the money.”

He sees Aaron’s brow raise immediately, his blue eyes brightening slightly again as he clears his throat and shuffles on the bench. “Really? You’re gonna take it?” 

“Yeah,” he says with a nod, smiling briefly at Aaron before rubbing at the side of his face. “I mean I can hear my bank account crying already, but it means I can stay in the village. And we can do what we said we would, bring the baby up together.”

Aaron smiles and pulls the corner of his bottom lip between his teeth, but Robert sees a slight hesitancy on his face and he frowns a little, confused. “That is still what you want right?”

“Yeah course it is!” Aaron answers immediately, turning fully to face Robert and resting his arm across the back of the bench. There’s no sign of regret or untruth in his face and Robert settles somewhat, but Aaron still looks uneasy, a tentative expression on his face.

“I just – ” He starts, before he sighs and rubs at his eyes, shaking his head. “Don’t matter.”

Robert’s eyes narrow and he stills his hand comfortingly on his belly. “What? What is it?”

“Just forget it – ”

“ _Aaron_.” Robert cuts in, the sharpness to his tone more of concern rather than upset. “Just tell me, _please_. Because if you’ve changed your mind – ”

“I haven’t.” Aaron maintains, his eyes open and honest, and Robert holds contact with them as Aaron shuffles nervously on the bench. “It – I just had an idea s’all, but it’s stupid so it don’t matter.”

Robert sighs wearily and runs a hand through the side of his hair. “If you don’t tell me Aaron, then how do you know it’s stupid?”

Aaron huffs and shrugs, peeved. 

“Fine.” He groans and presses his thumb and index finger into his eyes. “I just thought that – y’know if the rent is too much for ya, that I could… help out.”

Robert blinks, the small furrow still settled between his brow, not quite understanding the issue Aaron is having. “Like maintenance payments?”

Aaron shakes his head and sighs, something almost like frustration radiating off him as he pulls at his lip again with his teeth. “No.” 

Robert rolls his eyes and laughs once bewildered, looking back at Aaron completely clueless.

“Then what Aaron? I don’t know what – ”

“I was gonna say I could move in with ya.” Aaron blurts out, cutting Robert off before he can finish his sentence. Robert stares at him wide eyed, totally unprepared for such a suggestion, and he watches as Aaron draws back into himself as if readying for a rejection.

“Told ya it was stupid.” He mutters, turning away from Robert slightly and pulling his hoodie sleeves over his hands, the expression on his face downtrodden and withdrawn in a way that Robert can’t stand.

“Is that what you want?” Robert asks, careful and tentative, as if dealing with a skittish animal. His own heart beginning to pound double time in his chest as he considers what this could mean, what significance it could hold. “Us to move in together?”

Aaron shrugs and pulls at the frayed cuff of his left sleeve, threads of cotton twisting around his finger. “Dunno. Maybe? Would make sense wouldn’t it?”

Robert breathes slowly through his nose and reaches out to curl his hand around Aaron’s, stops him from wrecking what’s left of his hoodie cuff and forces Aaron to look back over at him. 

“It’s not about if it makes sense,” he says, gentle as he smooths his thumb over the back of Aaron’s hand; their thighs still pressed together and warm. “It’s about what you want.”

Aaron twists his hand in Robert’s until their palms press together, fingers curled around one another’s. Robert holds his breath and waits, waits until Aaron licks at his lips and his mouth parts.

“I want us.” He replies, soft and open and his eyes so clear blue. “I wanna be a family. A proper one. Me, you and the baby. An’ I know it’s too soon, I know that, but I wanna be there for you and for him, every minute, every day.”

A swooping feeling curls in the pit of Robert’s stomach, anticipation and pure happiness that floods through him right to the tips of his toes. He smiles and squeezes Aaron’s hand in his, knocks their knees together affectionately under the table.

“I want that too,” he says, not much more than a gentle murmur, eyes skimming over Aaron’s face and taking in the light curl of his lashes, the flushed pink of his lips. “More than anythin’.”

“Yeah?” Aaron breathes, and he sounds so in awe that Robert’s heart clenches deep in his chest.

“Yeah, course I do.” He grins, turning in further towards Aaron as the baby kicks, stretching it’s limbs and flexing it’s toes. “And by the way he’s wiggling about I’d say he’s happy with it as well.”

Aaron’s eyes all but light up and he smiles, something so soppy that Robert wouldn’t have believed him capable if he hadn’t have seen it with his own eyes. He feels Aaron’s legs shift against his own, and he can tell by the way Aaron’s gaze drops down to his belly, that he’s eager to feel for himself.

“Can I?” Aaron asks, timid but openly hopeful as he looks back up at Robert’s face. Robert nods and rolls his eyes with an enamoured smile, tugging at Aaron’s hand still wrapped in his.

“I’ve told ya, you don’t have to ask.” He laughs softly, and Aaron sighs, rolling his eyes too, before he shuffles in closer on the bench and carefully presses his free hand against the bump. 

“I know, but it’s a bit weird innit?” He says, his nose wrinkling as he raises an eyebrow pointedly. “You know, just randomly touchin’ ya.”

The baby kicks again at that, and Robert watches as amazement blooms across his face. Robert grins and covers Aaron’s hand with his own, tracing his index finger over the back of Aaron’s wrist.

“So…” He trails off, clearing his throat quietly and dragging Aaron’s gaze back up to meet his eyes once more. “We gonna do this then? Move in together?” 

Aaron sucks at his lower lip and shrugs, but Robert can see the smirk threatening to break out across his face, the sparkle in his eye that makes Robert’s stomach flip with excitement and anticipation; like standing on the edge of a cliff and preparing for the jump.

“I guess so, yeah.”

*****

There’s a frost on the ground the next morning, crisp and prickly where it’s frozen the grass and the half dead leaves on the trees. Robert’s breath swirls in a white cloud around him as he sighs, shivering as he steps out the front door and onto the path. Aaron is stood just beside the gate at the end of it, hands buried in the pockets of his puffer jacket and chin tucked into the collar; Robert can see him bouncing on his toes even from the door.

“Jesus, how long does it take ya to put your shoes on?” Aaron moans, his voice audibly shaking with cold as he turns to look at Robert and shuffles on his feet. Robert rolls his eyes and pushes the gate closed behind him as he joins Aaron out on the street.

“Surprisingly quite a while now.” He huffs, gesturing to his stomach still obviously visible even through a jumper, jacket and heavy winter coat. “You ever tried reachin’ your feet with what’s basically a football up your shirt?”

Aaron sighs and feigns looking put out, but Robert can see the smile in his eyes as he looks off down the street towards the B&B. 

“Come on,” he says, nudging Robert’s elbow with his own as he sniffs, nose red as it wrinkles. “Let’s go do this before my fingers drop off from hypothermia.”

“You mean frostbite.” Robert smiles, stepping beside him as they begin the walk across the road, digging his own hands into his coat pockets to stave off the cold. He sees Aaron roll his eyes exasperated and Robert nudges him playfully back with his elbow, winking at him as they head towards the pub. 

As they reach the benches outside of The Woolpack though, the door to the B&B just in sight, Robert slows a little, eventually pulling to a stop. Aaron continues for a couple of steps before he halts abruptly and turns around, his brow furrowed as he looks back at Robert puzzled.

“Is summat wrong?” He asks, scanning his eyes over Robert; Robert shakes his head and chews at his lip. He glances briefly down the street, sees Bob pointlessly dusting over the ‘open’ sign as he flips it over, Kerry and Bernice opening up the salon and shuffling from foot to foot as they try to stave off the cold, Rhona stood on the doorstep of Tug Ghyll talking to a rumpled Vanessa. 

It strikes him suddenly that it doesn’t matter. That him and Aaron standing in the middle of the street, _together_ , doesn’t matter. That Aaron, the person he cheated on his wife with – the _man_ who he cheated on his wife with – is stood with him, and nobody has sent as much as a second glance their way. Not even Edna, who ambles past them in her hat and coat with her tiny dog tucked under her arm on the way to the bus stop, bats an eyelid. 

“Robert?” Aaron’s voice interrupts, suddenly a lot closer than before and layered with worry. Robert turns his head back to look at him and bites at his lip. “What is it?”

“Nothing,” he says softly, and smiles, running his eyes over the wrinkled lines in Aaron’s brow, the cold chapped pink of his lips and the bright blue flecks in his eyes. He feels a sense of relief as he looks at him, it unexpected and a little overwhelming but still _good_ , like a 15 year weight finally gone from his shoulders that he had never realised had been sat there for so long. “Nothing’s wrong, I’m fine.”

Aaron’s frown deepens and he shakes his head slightly as he glances around confused. “So… why we just standin’ here then?”

Robert wets his lower lip and dips his head a little. He slips his hands from his coat pockets and takes a step closer to Aaron, carefully places his hands on Aaron’s waist and tugs him forward gently. Aaron looks at him bewildered but moves into Robert’s space as directed, cupping his hands instinctively around Robert’s elbows.

“Because…” He trails off, flicking his eyes over Aaron’s face and exhaling softly with the anticipation that overwhelms him. “Because if we’re gonna do this, then I should do _this_ first.”

And with that he leans forward, bridges the remaining gap between them to press his lips softly against Aaron’s. Aaron jolts in surprise and pulls back after a moment, but his hands still clutch firmly at Robert’s arms. 

“Rob? You don’t – ”

“But I do.” Robert cuts him off, gently squeezing at Aaron’s waist. “This – _us_ – isn’t something I can hide anymore, and more to the point I don’t want to. We’re going to move in together Aaron, be a family, I shouldn’t be scared to kiss you in the street.”

Aaron pulls his lip between his teeth and looks up hesitantly at Robert, his thumbs stroking gently over Robert’s forearms. 

“It’s alright though, y’know, if you’re not ready.”

“I am. Promise.” He says reassuringly, nodding his head and smiling softly. Aaron smiles back and Robert leans forward again to kiss him, this time Aaron kissing back carefully, his lips pliant and wanting. They pull apart after a moment, foreheads lightly pressed together and Robert grins, rubbing at Aaron’s waist.

“Come on.” He murmurs, stepping back and allowing his fingertips to linger at Aaron’s hips. “Let’s go sign that contract before Pollard changes his mind.”

*****

Dad had forced him out to work in the barn one Saturday afternoon, one of the lads had called in sick and that had left them one man down to move the fresh haybales inside. He’d protested, claimed that his hayfever had flared up something rotten, but Jack had been having none of it and Robert had soon found himself in a pair of overalls lugging the bales with reluctance.

“Y’know, anyone would think you were enjoyin’ yourself,” a voice had said behind him as he’d dropped his latest bale down on the floor carelessly. He’d turned his head to the side sharply, and had found his stomach flipping as he’d met Tom’s amused eyes.

“Yeah, havin’ a great time.” He’d answered, tone sarcastic as he’d rolled his eyes. “This is exactly how I want to spend my summer holiday, sweatin’ in a smelly old barn.”

Tom had grinned, his teeth on show all bright and straight, and had dumped his own bale down beside Robert’s discarded pile. Robert had looked away sharply when he’d found his gaze drawn to the flex of muscle in Tom’s bare bicep.

“Count yourself lucky you’re still young enough to have a summer holiday,” Tom had said with a grin, pausing to pull off his gloves and toss them on top of the hay. He’d rubbed the back of his wrist across his brow and Robert had caught a whiff of his scent: musk and chocolate and so very _alpha_. “You won’t have ‘em much longer and then you’ll just be workin’ until you _die_.”

Robert had huffed a laugh at that and had found himself smiling back at Tom easily. “Bit morbid ‘int it?”

“True though.” Tom had sighed, turning to perch himself on the edge of one of the bales and peering up at Robert from under his long lashes. “S’why you should be out there.” He continued, nodding out through the barn door to where the sun was still beating down with full force despite it being after 4 o’clock. “Makin’ the most of it while you can.”

“Alright grandad.” Robert had smirked, pulling off his own gloves and tossing them down beside Tom’s already discarded pair. “Guess that means you won’t have any problem coverin’ for me then?”

Tom had laughed, the sound bright and melodic in a way that’d made Robert’s stomach flip all over again.

“Yeah, yeah alright.” He’d smiled, folding his arms across his waist and making his white t-shirt pull tight across his shoulders. “Be our little secret.”

Robert had beamed and had clapped Tom impulsively on the shoulder in thanks, his fingertips sparking at the feel of his warm skin through thin cotton. 

“You’re a lifesaver.” He’d blurted out, fighting back the blush he could feel trying to force it’s way out onto his cheeks. He’d pulled his hand back jerkily and had turned quickly towards the door, only glancing back over his shoulder when Tom had called out to him.

“Oi Robert! Tell Donna I said ‘hi’ yeah?”

And then he’d winked, the move teasing and loaded, and Robert had known in that instant by the way his heart had skipped that he was most definitely in trouble.

*****

He eyes the plate of digestives in the centre of the table as Diane busies herself with making tea at the counter. It’s soothing, the sound off the kettle boiling off and the quiet ‘tap tap’ of the teaspoon against the sides of the mug, and he smiles a little, feeling more content then he has in years.

“Now it’s not that I’m not pleased to see you pet,” Diane says, bringing the mugs over and sliding into the seat opposite him around the other side of the table. “But I’ve left Doug out there with Chas and the start of a hen party, so if it’s bad news I’d prefer you tell me quick.”

Robert frowns slightly and takes the mug Diane passes to him with a quick smile. “What makes you think it’s bad?”

Diane shoots him a look, her one eyebrow raised. “No offence Robert, but it’s hardly been good news with you over the past couple of months.”

Robert sighs and rolls his eyes, leaning back in his chair and tapping his thumbs against the edge of the table. “Well it’s nothin’ bad this time, promise.”

“Glad to hear it.” Diane nods, smiling around the rim of her mug as she sips at her tea. Robert nods and does the same, picking up his own drink.

“I’ve got a house, in the village,” he says carefully, looking at Diane from under semi-lowered lashes. “Eric’s renting me Jacob’s Fold.”

Diane’s eyebrows raise, and she places her mug back down on the table with a surprised grin.

“That’s great pet!”

Robert’s lip twitches pleased, and he nods again, swallowing as he taps his thumbs against the side of his mug. “Yeah it is, best outcome I could hope for really.” 

Diane nods in agreement and smiles at him, a small twitch of pride to her mouth that makes something warm settle in the pit of Robert’s stomach. 

“Well I’m very happy for you Robert,” she says, her eyes sincere. “It’s been – well to say an _eventful_ couple of months is an understatement – but, I’m glad you’re getting yourself sorted. And with Aaron too, he’s a good lad.”

Robert blinks surprised, and Diane smiles knowingly. 

“Oh don’t look so shocked, Chas has been making her opinion very clear on the matter.”

He winces and toys with the handle of his mug, already envisioning just what exactly Chas has been spewing about him over the past few days. “I guess she won’t be starting a fan club any time soon then?”

Diane’s mouth parts to reply, when the sound of raised voices from the corridor to the pub catches their attention. Robert turns his head to look over his shoulder just as Aaron storms in; Chas hot on his heels.

“You can’t just come out with that Aaron and walk away!” Chas shouts, hands flapping at her sides as Aaron continues to ignore her and walks across the room. “Aaron! I’m _talking to you_!”

Aaron turns abruptly on his heel, his brow furrowed into a scowl, and Robert sees the moment he notices them sat at the table. He sends Aaron a small smile as Aaron blinks at him, and he all but hears Chas’ sneer from the doorway.

“Oh, of course _you_ would here.” She spits; Robert turns his gaze her way and frowns, restraining himself from rolling his eyes at the look of disgust on her face. “I bet this has got summat to do with you an’ all!”

“Robert was just telling me his good news.” Diane pipes up unhelpfully. “He’s got himself a house in the village.”

Chas’ lip curls, the smile on her face twisted and vicious. She turns to look back at her son and folds her arms tight across her chest. 

“So that’s where you’re going is it?” She derides bitingly, her question more rhetorical that probing. “Leavin’ to go shack up with _him_?”

Aaron sighs frustrated and rubs at his brow hard as he shifts on his feet. “Mum – ”

“Oh don’t you ‘mum’ me!” Chas snaps, taking a step forward and jabbing her finger towards Aaron. “I knew you were stupid to even _think_ about gettin’ back with him after everything he’s done, but to _move in with him_ after a _week_?! Well you’re more of an idiot then I ever thought you’d be Aaron if you ask me!”

“Well I’m not askin’ ya!” Aaron hisses back, moving forward also into his mother’s space, his jaw set and fists clenched. “I’m tellin’ ya mum. It’s done. Sorted. Me an’ Robert signed the contract today.”

“Well un-sign it then!” Chas practically wails, her tone swinging from pure outrage to desperate whining as Aaron shakes his head. “Aaron you’re making a mistake!”

“I think maybe we should all just calm down,” Diane says loudly, and Robert glances back at her across the table, raising an eyebrow at her bravery. 

“Calm down?!” Chas shouts, the wobble in her voice almost bordering on hysterical as she turns to look at Diane. “How am I supposed to calm down Diane when my son is throwing his _life_ away for _that_?!”

She stabs her index finger in Robert’s direction and Robert scowls back at her, itching to snap back, but Aaron gets there first.

“Oi!” He all but growls, drawing Chas’ attention back towards him. “I don’t care if you’re my mum, you better watch what you’re sayin’.”

“You know I’m right though Aaron!” Chas protests, her arms held out by her sides. “He’ll hurt you again, just like he’s always done!”

Aaron shakes his head again and rubs at his mouth, stepping back and closer to the door. 

“I don’t have to listen to this.” He mutters, brow still furrowed as he continues to shift towards the doorway. “Robert is my son’s dad, and if you can’t accept that then we’re done.”

Chas’ eyes widen and her face falls, she lurches forward as if to stop Aaron and calls out in a panic.

“He can move in here!”

Robert snaps his head in her direction, eyebrows raised towards his hairline. He sees Aaron do the same from the corner of his eye, Aaron’s expression as shocked as he imagines his own is.

“You what?” Aaron answers, turning in the doorway and blinking at his mother with a frown. Chas shifts from foot to foot awkwardly and Robert can see the begrudging expression on her face.

“I said,” she says slowly, her gaze trained somewhere on the floor between her and Aaron. “That Robert can move in here.”

Aaron moves back into the room proper and watches Chas incredulously. “Didn’t you hear any of what I just said? We have a _house_ mum – ”

“And do you know how hard it is to do up a place when you’re livin’ in it? Let alone with a newborn baby.” Chas cuts him off, folding her arms across her waist and holding her head up defiantly. “Babies are hard work Aaron; and so are relationships.”

Aaron snorts bitterly and his lips curl at the edges. “Oh yeah, ‘cause you’d know _all_ about relationships…”

Chas scowls and Robert braces himself for an all-out Dingle shouting match, but before it can start Diane’s voice interrupts loudly, drawing their attention away from one another.

“Chas is right,” she says, looking between them all as Robert stares at her in shock. “Maybe it wouldn’t be such a bad idea for you both to stay here for now, give you some time to adjust before moving out by yourselves.”

“See!” Chas crows almost triumphant, gesturing towards Diane and looking at Aaron pointedly. “Diane agrees an’all!”

Robert can see Aaron’s scowl deepening once more and knows by the way his jaw flexes that he could be about to say something that he’ll regret.

“ _Mum –_ ”

“Aaron.” Robert cuts him off, and Aaron looks over at him with a frown. Robert raises his brow and tilts his head a little, pulling at the corner of his lower lip. “Maybe it’s not such a bad idea,” he says tentatively. “Just for a few weeks while we get the house sorted.”

Aaron blinks, his lips pursed tight, and Robert thinks for a second he might argue – however eventually he sighs, resigned, and rubs a palm across his eyes.

“Fine.” He mutters, and Robert finds himself relaxing unconsciously. Aaron turns his head back towards his mother and fixes her with a pointed stare. “But as soon as the house is done we’re goin’ alright? No arguin’.”

Chas nods her head agreeably and holds one hand up, the other behind her back. “Scout’s honour!”

Aaron rolls his eyes but Robert can detect the hint of softening on his face. Robert turns back to look at Diane, and the corner of his lip twitches in a lopsided smile. “So… have you got some boxes going spare then?”

*****

Robert clicks through onto the next page and scrubs his hand through his hair with a groan. The sheer amount of pastel pink and blue pictures on the page seemingly never-ending as he scrolls down the screen. It’s hard to know where to start, the list of items down the side of the page not making it any easier to narrow anything down, and he sighs, clicking onto the ‘Moses baskets and bassinets’ tab.

“What’s got you all with your knickers in a twist?” Vic’s voice chirps from behind him. He glances back over his shoulder in time to see his sister dump the basket of washing in her arms down onto the sofa, and shrugs, leaning back in his chair.

“Trying to buy some stuff for the baby but I’ve got absolutely no idea where I should start. I mean who knew there were so many different types of bottle steriliser.”

“Well,” Vic says with sigh, resting her hands on her hips. “What did you get last week?”

“Just a few clothes.” He answers, rubbing one hand across his belly as he shrugs tiredly. “Tried to have a look at some of the furniture but it was all a bit, y’know, overwhelming.”

Vic hums softly and steps around the sofa towards him, bracing one hand on the back of his chair and one on the table beside his laptop. “Let’s have a look then, let Auntie Vic save the day.”

Robert rolls his eyes with a laugh and twists the laptop towards her, gesturing towards the rows and rows of Moses baskets on the screen. “Go ahead, knock yourself out.”

Vic swats at him gently on the top of his arm and shakes her head fondly, dragging her index finger across the track pad. She scrolls down a few lines before making a pleased noise and clicking on one of the links.

“What do you think about this one?” She chirps, pushing the laptop back towards him and leaning back, arms folded across her waist triumphantly. Robert turns the screen a little more and nods his head, humming agreeably as he looks over the simple wicker and grey cotton basket, tiny pale blue dots scattered across the fabric.

“Not bad Vic.” He smiles, glancing up at her and nodding his head again, clicking through a few more images. “I like it.”

Vic preens happily and pulls out the chair next to him, taking a seat and leaning in towards the laptop.

“Good!” She says, taking over with the mouse. “So… added to the basket. What next?”

Robert sighs fondly, and grabs at a printed off list to his left that he’d taken from one of the many baby forums he’d stalked through that morning in search of help. 

“Er… car seat.” He answers, flipping through the sheets absently. Vic nods and takes it upon herself to tap away in the search bar.

They eventually find a car seat in the 4 pages of options and Robert crosses it off the list as Vic adds it into the basket. They work through the rest slowly, adding in bottles, changing mats, a baby carrier and the dreaded steriliser, until Robert’s ticked off a third of the list and the total at the bottom is well into 3 figures. He groans at the amount and tosses his pen back down onto the table.

“Jesus kids are expensive.”

Vic hums and nods with a lopsided smile, leaning back in her chair. “Yup. And they _also_ take up a lot of space, no idea where we’re gonna stick all of this.”

Robert shifts in his seat and awkwardly clears his throat, hand moving over his stomach again as he glances at Vic hesitantly. 

“Well that might not be so much of a problem…” He trails off. Vic turns to look at him, eyebrow raised questioningly. 

“We’ve got a house.” He continues softly, gaze flickering searchingly over Victoria’s face. “Me and Aaron I mean. We’re renting Jacob’s Fold.” 

“Oh.” Vic blinks, a little wide eyed in surprise. “Really?”

Robert nods and turns further towards her, still feeling uncertain as he tries to get a read on her face. “Yeah. We signed the contract yesterday.”

Vic pouts her lips and nods too, her expression vague still, almost thoughtful. “Well, good for you,” she says, before her lips twitch upwards in an amused smile. “Sure Chas took that well.”

He huffs a laugh and shakes his head, seeing Vic grinning from the corner of his eye. 

“About as well as expected.” He sighs, hand still moving over his belly as the baby wriggles, foot kicking out irritably. “But she said I could move into the pub while we do some work on the place, which is better than nothin’ I guess.”

Vic smiles and taps her fingers softly against the table top. Robert pulls at his lower lip and glances down briefly, considering; inhales as quiet settles over the room in a natural lull. 

“I just wanted to say thanks,” he says earnestly, leaning forward slightly in his seat and meeting Vic’s eyes. “Y’know, for putting me up the last couple of months. I really appreciate it. And it’s not that I’m ungrateful and I don’t want to stay here – ”

Vic holds her hand up, cutting him off with a shake of her head and a grin.

“Rob I get it. It’s fine. You stayin’ here weren’t a long term thing anyway was it?” She asks rhetorically, and Robert finds himself relaxing in relief at the understanding expression on her face. “And you and Aaron want to be a family, have a place for just the 3 of ya, and that’s totally understandable. I’m happy for you, I really am. _Plus_ it means me and Adam get the place back to ourselves, which he won’t be complainin’ about I can tell you.”

Robert smirks and folds his arms across his waist, shoulders shrugging as he slumps back against the wood of his chair and tilts his head to look at his sister curiously. 

“So, why were you pullin’ the strange face then?” He asks bemused. Vic smiles smugly and pushes her chair back, laying her palms flat on the table top as she stands.

“Well.” She drawls, hands on her hips as she looks down at him with a twinkle in her eyes. “I mean I thought you might at least last the full month instead of a week, but it don’t matter ‘cause I _was_ right.”

Robert frowns completely bewildered, twisting around in his seat to look at Vic as she steps away and back towards her abandoned washing. “Right about what?”

“Vegas.” She grins with a wink, and Robert rolls his eyes in recognition despite the warm smile he can’t from spreading over his face. “Congrats bro, I’m made up for ya.”


End file.
